Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Step Away From The Celebrities #3

I saw a movie star on Monday. He has a house in our neighborhood and was driving his black Benz, wearing a cap and sunglasses. He cut though traffic out of an Arco gas station and I thought, what an asshole, he's going to kill someone.

Oh wait, it's Brad Pitt. He can kill anyone he wants.

I always go out of my way to talk to actors who have impressed me over the years. Poor Mark Ruffalo was trapped with me at Mayfair Market until the paramedics came and put him on a stretcher and gave him pain pills.
Yesterday I saw another celebrity. We were in the same manicurist's shop and the minute she walked in I heard all the manipedipeople yell Hi Ann Marie!

After two seconds I said, "Ann Marie, aren't you the girl from...." and she said "Yes." I proceeded to tell her what a great actor she is and what was she doing now and where did she live and did she know our mani/pedi place was closing and was she going to call the paramedics? I asked if I could take a picture of her with my camera phone and she told me to google her and take a picture off her website. Clearly she's friends with Mark Ruffalo. So I googled Ann Marie Bergl. Nothing.

I finally googled this show and realized her name was EMILY. But pronounced by Vietnamese it came out Ann Marie. Or I've only got one ear left. She was so gracious she didn't even tell me I was mispronouncing her first name whereas I once yelled at someone who called me SUE and not SUZY. She's coming back on the air in the fall in a new John Well's show and is just finishing up a Broadway run. She's busy.

I'm not. Is that a surprise?

End of chat.


  1. crap. the only celebrity I've ever run into was crazy red headed Marcia from the Bob Newhart show. She was TALL and we were at the San Diego Zoo,

    And I mean I RAN INTO HER. (Call me clumsy....)

  2. Hilarious! However, jealousy of their money, lifestyle and fame requires that I make snarky comments:

    Brad Pitt: What the hell is with the molestache? I'm considering calling child services...

    Mark Ruffalo: Do his lips look like he chose the too small pair in the mr. potato head array?

    I don't even know who that Emily is! How dare she refuse a photo with you while she is getting a mani/pedi. Once I figure out who she is, she is DEAD TO ME!

  3. That was the weekend they threw Vodka in a cage cos she got all the animals at SDZ drunk on vodka-soaked bananas and peanuts....

    And now you're the one who let Brad get away. Move over Jen...

  4. Anonymous5:27 AM

    I sold chocolate milk and 3 newspapers to Dan Rather. Let me tell you, his face was awfully wrinkly and saggy in person and he had bed head.

  5. I worked with Jon Malkevich's brother (Jon grew up 6 miles from me!).
    I saw his photo on his bros. desk.

    Does that count?

    I also drive a black Benz and often wear sunglasses.

    People are always wondering....

  6. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! This is why I always address people as "Hey!"

    Also, Brad Pitt can run over me anytime he wants. Well, as long as he doesn't have the brats with him.

  7. Anonymous10:37 AM

    I would like to enter the "Worst Celebrity Encounter Ever" contest and believe I'd win. I was at the Comedy Store, chatting with Sean Penn. I had worked in the Main Room that night and lots of rock bands had been there and talked with us later. I said to Sean, "I thought Jon Bon Jovi was so much younger." Sean looked at me like I was crazy. Later I discovered that the comics had set me up and had some 40-year-old alcoholic/drug addict introduce himself as Jon Bon Jovi. What did I know? I was watching PBS instead of MTV. Big mistake.
    Martha Jane

  8. I once accosted Al Jarreau in the San Francisco airport. I'm such a fucktard but he was very nice.

    I would have slammed into Brad Pitt then pretended I didn't know who he was. He's worse than a fucktard. He's a pretentious fucktard.

  9. and I almost forgot- I was driving through LA and was passing Stephen Spielberg. FOR REAL. Of course this was 25 years ago- and I MIGHT have needed glasses, but I'm SURE it was him.

    and I might have almost sideswiped him. and he might have flipped me off.

  10. I would have been tempted to kidnap Mark Ruffalo and keep him in my basement.

  11. I live in Toronto where things only ever happen when I'm nowhere to be found!
    I once saw Ryan Phillipe and had just watched Playing By Heart and thought he was a cutie petutie. After he walked by me, I scooted to one of those angled windows to watch him walk away and, wouldn't you know it?, he was facing one too and chuckled at me!! As surprising as it sounds, the ground did NOT open up and swallow me in that moment!!

  12. Anonymous1:14 PM

    I love Mark Ruffalo

  13. I sold womens paisley stretch pants to the members of Poison back in the '80's. I also sold flowers to Adam Ant, but I didn't tell him I almost took my shirt off for him at one of his concerts!

  14. I sold books to Monica Lewinsky and ran into Wallace Shawn on a street in London.

    I never approach celebrities but if I were in a conversation with one I would tell then if I liked their work.

  15. Aaack! I've got nothing. Oy, the sheltered life in the middle of nowhere.

    Wait - there's that celebrity chicken down the road.....oh, screw it.

  16. The only celebs I've ever seen are the ones I've PAID to know in the movie theatres, at concerts. I should move somewhere cooler :(

  17. She told you to Google her? Ha. I so would have take photos of her feet with my iphone. Or at least pretended to. (Or at least her feet water before they drained it.)

  18. suzy!

    Great to see you!!! When I click on your blog I'm under Stalkers... hahahaha. Thanks for your kind remarks about my pics.. I wish it were me in my profile pic.. but alas... a model with ballerina arms...

    Can't wait to read more!

  19. Found you through Nanny Goats in Panties - very glad that I did!!

  20. I'm cracking up at the pronounciation of Emily by the asian ladies. Too funny!!
    Maybe next time she will grant the photo if you get her name right.


  21. I feel like such a foreigner. I have no idea who either of those people are.

  22. OK, this was even funnier. Ann Marie! That could be a Seinfeld episode, don't you think?

  23. Anonymous5:19 PM

    I've never seen that Emily chick before. Probably another sign that I'm getting old.

  24. My sister's friend's brother knows a guys who knows a guy who knows a guy who's the brother of Jeremy Piven.

    Actually, I can't say I've ever ran into a real celeb. Gone out of my way to meet one? Sure. In that case Jack Black, Kate Beckinsale, Shia Labeouf, and Jimmy Kimmel make the list.

  25. Ann Marie! Emilly! Holee crap! Laughing so hard like an old lady that I can't get off the floor. Call the paramedics!

  26. Anonymous11:53 PM

    While working in a restaurant in Williamsburg, VA in the mid-1980's I met Princess Diana's step-mother, the Countess Spencer.

    Although intoxicated, she was able to slip away from her dinner party and the security detail and find her way into one of the back gardens. I found her there, in the dark, quite happy, admiring the flowers.

    We talked for a few minutes, and being quite tipsy, she was very friendly. Remembering there was a security detail looking for her, I put on what I could remember about prom manners and offered her my arm. Reminding her that her party was looking for her, she took my arm and stood up, and we walked, closer than I thought was royal (but more fun)back towards the restaurants. During this time, she showered me with compliments about what a strong, good-looking young man I was.
    I may have spent 10 minutes alone with her, and during that time although being obviously intoxicated, she was very graceful, very feminine, and exceedingly charming.

    Was I being cougared? And if I had not been afraid of a beating by the secret service, would I least for the bragging rights?