Tuesday, March 31, 2009

And Then

The model was the blonde. I can't believe how up on models you all were. I kept calling them The Trees and going, "Trees, over to the left." Or "Trees, give me your best model smiles." They are 16 years old. Then I said, "Trees, give me your money." Can Crystal Meth be far behind?

Teri Hatcher was there but I didn't see her. I was told she is magnificently tall and of course, fat free. Bitch.

I was wearing The Shroud Of Turin and the sister pictures go up tomorrow.

The next photos were taken poorly and I only have my fingers to blame for that. Seriously, if you can name all the items on this plate we are NEVER going out to eat together. And they may want to look into lemon wedges next time, and Tabasco, or Worcestershire or fucking pepper or killing the cooks. Hey, I just thought of something. SEA SALT!

Believe it or not, the pile of little brown things was delicious as was the chocolate dessert. We left early and ate again at Lindy's.

The infamous Ben Stein, one of the presenters, sat next to us and I still fucked up the picture.And of course, the Stars of the evening, Ellen and Portia. They looked so happy together that all I could think about is why the U.S. has such a problem with other people's sex lives. Not to mention other people's joy.
Ellen was on TelePrompter for their acceptance speeches but in the next picture she waved the Tele guy to stop because she told him she was going off script. At one point she was imploring people to take a chance on all these animals and said, "Look at me. I came out and got no grief..." and the crowd roared their acceptance. It really was a sweet moment and now I think I'm gay.

As the old joke goes, "Let gays get married; why should only straight people be miserable?"

I had turkey for lunch yesterday and prime rib for dinner. If you believe The Blood Type Diet I'm O Neg and so is everyone in my family. All O types are carnivores and crave meat. Thank GOD.

More to come.


  1. thanks for ur comment suzy, was she maybe a witch? A seer? A wise woman?

    Do you have "the power"? I could do with some myself. I have a cold today and feel miserable. Man flu is EVIL.

    I have medicals tomorrow for emigrating to Oz, and a cold! Typical!

    And I'm O neg, don't touch red meat. I do eat chicken, but love the veg. Bring on the veg! (Don't know why i'm fat...)

  2. meat? RED MEAT? i would die without it.

    this was, of course, another hysterical post. If I wasn't so damn tired and caffeine deprived I would certainly say something witty.

    Now get me some coffee..

  3. I love Ellen. I could possibly go gay for her.

  4. Mmmm...meat...

    There's a blood-type diet? Great Ghu, they'll come up with anything these days, won't they?? Unless it says my blood type needs chocolate to live, I ain't interested.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K(who didn't know who the model was but could spot Ben Stein from across a room because she adores him)

  5. That must be my problem--I'm O and I don't like meat--it's not a weight problem, it's a blood-type problem.

  6. Great. Now Kyddryn and I are going to have to arm wrestle for Ben Stein. Unless she's interested in a threesome? I would have commented earlier but I was wiping bacon sandwich crumbs off my mouth...

  7. I wasn't upset when Ellen and Portia got married but I was upset that they had a vegan wedding reception. That's just not right.

    I'm O Neg and I could never be a vegetarian. Last night I had corned beef, the night before I ate bacon. Today I'm looking forward to a hot dog at the ballpark.

  8. Now see I can't do the blood type diet because I'm a rare and obscure blood type CD negative. I think that my blood type is only suppose to drink Vodka and eat olives.

    I love your pictures and the explanaitons with them. I would love to be your shadow and just listen to the comments you and your sister must have made. :)

  9. Anonymous11:07 AM

    I am proud to have taken "Ben Stein's Money" on the show a few years back. I believe the one he missed was a question about African violets.
    With pride and aloha,

  10. I think I recognize a roll in the picture.
    I love meat.

  11. What WAS that pile of brown things on your plate? It looks like a mini cow plop. I mean, if cows up and plopped on people's plates, that is.

  12. I'm stuck on the blood type diet reference... If I'm always hungry, crave sweet, salty, meat and carbs, and can't ever seem to lose weight -- what would my blood type be :)

  13. That dinner looks like shit! What was it, raw veggies and mashed potatoes with a lemon wedge for dessert?

  14. If I were a lesbian I would kick that Porshia to the curb.. Ellen moves me in a special way... kind of the way Steve Caroll does..must be a make me laugh kind of thing.. and no one can understand that he WILL be my third husband, right behind Patrick Dempsey, and Barack Obama.....


    I finally figured out how to add your blog to my FRICKING blog list ON my blog... Okay...