Monday, February 23, 2009

Jai Ho!

Finally, a good Oscars. If you haven't seen Slumdog, I seriously don't understand what's wrong with you. All the talk, all the wins and you're still sitting at home? The dancing number is 100% better in the film than what you saw last night and it comes at the end, so wait for it. 8 out of 10 Oscars. A story of hope. A love story without Ali MacGraw. Go.

I read the book The Reader and it was so bad I didn't bother with the movie. Then I saw clips of the film and Hollywood painted some rather broad artistic strokes over the book so now I'll see it. Don't read Revolutionary Road unless you've run out of sleeping pills.

The clothes: I'm so over The Stylist Look, where they plant some pale, colorless gown on the whitest people in the world until their transparency mercifully makes them disappear. And diamonds? Gee, that's new. So my picks were for the always fashion forward Heidi Klum and the man without his dog, Mickey Rourke, wearing the fashion future forward Jean-Paul Gaultier. Honorable Mention to Viola Davis.

Other revelations:

Hugh Jackman: My new husband.
New format: Not memorizing your speech to the nominee. Rude.
The floor reflecting the back screen: FUCKING ANNOYING FOR DAYS.
Sophia Loren: Real Movie Star finally shows up missing her waist.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman: Jews in the 'hood.
Ben Stiller: Please put him out of my misery.
Bill Maher: Stop doing blow. It's so Oscars 1997.
Steven Spielberg: Can I land my plane on your heliport hairdo?
Will Smith: You used to be funny.
Steve Martin to Tina Fey: DON'T...fall in love with me.
Jennifer Aniston: A braid? Really?
Angelina Jolie. You put something in your eyes to make us stare at you. And we can't look away.

Jai Ho means "I hope you win." And they did.

End of chat.


  1. Anonymous12:05 PM

    Your review is great, as usual. I thought the show was SO much better than it's been for a while. My favorite is still 1978--Luke Skywalker, C-3PO and R2D2 presented together and Debbie Boone sang "You Light Up My Life." I think I was, like, nine or something.

  2. I usually ignore the Oscars...but I forgot to ignore them last night because I was watching a MASH marathon on one of my local channels and it clear slipped my mind. Dang. I guess I'll have to make up for it by ignoring them twice as hard next year.

    I ignore the Grammies, too, probably for the same reason - they both so seldom reward true art, true talent, true risk taking, and instead pander to the masses and mass market appeal. Sigh. Jaded much? Probably.

    Hugh Jackman...rrrrrrroooowwww. I might have watched just for him. He puts a lovely hitch in my gitalong.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  3. I'm with you on the pale on pale, weird.
    I had a hard time listening to Hugh Jackman singing but watching him dance was okay.

  4. JAI HO AND WOOT :) Loveit. Oh and that dance scene...that totally totally rocks and I'm watching it now....

  5. Loved the Oscars. LOVE Hugh. sigh.

  6. I still think he was singing, "Giant Ho."

  7. I thought it was very enjoyable for a change, it's long but the entertainment was worth it. He was a hoot and a hunk that Hugh! Suzy you should be up least handing out the lil dude! ;-)

  8. Great review.

    You just have a way with words!

  9. I missed the Oscars again. My brother and his wife went to see Slumdog and loved it. I wasn't sure if I should go based on there word because they also liked The Clumps. I might go now.

  10. Well no I'm totally bummed--I just ordered 4 copies of Revolutionary Road for my book group. That's what I get for taking care of business before reading blogs.

  11. Anonymous10:34 AM

    I think one of the other reasons it worked so well is that they finally made decent use of that ginormous stage. In previous years almost everyone was dwarfed by that monster.

  12. Anonymous2:44 PM

    I really liked having some 5 previous winners coming on stage to announce the nominees. I loved seeing Sophia Loren - she is in her 70's and still has the style and charisma to dominate the stage.

    But a highlight for me was watching the Baba Wawa special when she wasn't sure if she should be seated for Hugh J to give her the illusion of a lap dance.