Friday, February 27, 2009

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Right before I board The Titanic, I always reread Many Lives, Many Masters. Chapter 6 always set me straight and takes the burden of bill paying, illness and other worries out of my head and into the trash, where they belong. If you don't own this book by Yale Med School and Columbia University trained Dr. Brian Weiss, buy it on Amazon. You can get it for less than a dollar. It's his most famous book and it's about reincarnation. For anyone struggling with an issue, Chapter 6 will set you straight.

Hollywood is full of legendary stories. A lot of people have made mistakes in their career choices. Kylie Minogue passed on the song Toxic and it went to Britney Spears. Kanye West wrote Golddigger for someone else, who passed on it. The famous lines uttered about Fred Astaire, "Can't sing, can dance a little" were the result of his screen test. The note also made mention of his big ears and the fact that he was balding. Nobody thought he would make it. This alone is why you need to read Chapter 6.

Warner Brothers is among the people who passed on something big.

Slumdog Millionaire.

It was made for $14 million dollars. Then it was shopped to them for distribution. WB's final answer on the film was that it would surely go straight to DVD so they passed and sent the producers to Fox Searchlight, who took the distribution deal. This is how films eventually show up at your local movie theaters. You have to find someone who will distribute it. So when Danny Boyle accepted the Oscar for directing Slumdog, he THANKED WB for "graciously giving the deal to Fox." HA! He had to do that because here in LA, you can't piss anyone off and I've learned that the hard way. Has ANYBODY ever learned anything the easy way?

To date the movie has made $130 million.

When I was in Mumbai my guide took me to Bollywood. It looked like a grey cement bunker, like a lot of Mumbai, which is undergoing massive infrastructural growth. And yet their people are colorful, joyous and kind. Now come to Hollywood and check out our studios. Overwrought exteriors, colorful interiors and nasty multimillionaires running the places. And one of those studios wasn't intelligent enough to go with such a brilliant movie as Slumdog. But for God's sakes, MAKE MORE BATMAN MOVIES with different Batmans and so much CGI that our eyes glaze over from your ability to take our money and laugh in front of our backs. (They want to make a total of 7 Batman movies, I guess they think we haven't quite figured out the story yet because it's sooooooooooo complicated).

Three of the nicest guys I met in Mumbai. To see the rest of the pictures I took, go here. Or click on the label India at the end of this post.

This is what 100 rupees looks like. When I was in India it was worth $1.25. Today it's worth $2.00. This is the amount I tipped everyone and was told was too much to give away. And I gave this amount to children and adults alike. TWO DOLLARS. I'd kill for 2 dollars today for God's sakes. And of course that is Sir Ben Kingsley on the bill. (please don't comment about this or I will fail you this semester)
I thought it was hilarious that I have a Best Western at the corner of my street and ended up in one 8700 miles away. (14,000 kilometers).

Two of the kids in Slumdog have been given permanent housing along with money set aside for their education, which their parents can't touch. And they're little tiny heroes in a big, big land. They would understand Chapter 6.

The Druggertons have been evicted so naturally we've all been going in to the vacated premises to steal stuff look around. And by all I mean me. I copped three black angels that were refrigerator magnets. I passed on the hypodermic needle and condom that were in the kitchen. I hope I don't live to regret that.

End of chat.


  1. I'll have to check out that book but surprisingly with my bill and business worries I'm sleeping through the night - no wide awake in a cold sweat in the middle of the night...yet.
    I've seen Slumdog Millionaire twice and would like to see it a few more times before it heads to DVD at which time I will purchase it. I loved it. I have the soundtrack and it's great workout music!

  2. If I dig around downstairs I should be able to find you a condom. It might be SLIGHTLY used and at least two years old. However, I've always shared with others.

  3. Oh, I adore Ben Kingsley....and I'm pretty fond of the guy on the money, too.

    I haven't seen Slumdog. I don't get out much. If I have a chance to see it in the theater, I will - otherwise, I'll buy the DVD. I may be constantly riding the ragged edge of broke, but I will reward good work with my dollars - we have to keep encouraging quality movies!!

    I have lots of clean needles - what's the street value on these suckers? I may have to hawk them to pay bills or buy DVDs. Who need medication, anyway? I'm pretty sure I can do without it for another twenty years or so before my kidneys fall out my left nostril...or, you know, wherever they fall out of when they quit and move to Belize. Also, I don't need ALL my toes, do I??

    No, I'm not serious. Maybe. Depends what the hypodermics are worth.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  4. I've read it. Good book, if a little freaky. I'll have to refresh myself on what Chapter 7 was.

    Ben Kingsley - of course...

  5. I'll send you some Indian condoms: even better. The first line of this post made me wish I was drinking so I could say what everyone says, that they spewed Coke all over their screen, as if that's like some mecca of laughability or something. So ok, if it is, then consider yourself Coke-screened. Can I shut up now?

    I'm glad you gleaned the same lessons from Chapter 7 as me. See? We were meant to be together, my Hollywood Queen.

  6. Oh, and I'm totally calling my rupee notes "Ben Kingsleys" from now on and hope that it irritates the shit out of the locals. I like to find ways to do that....

  7. Speaking of people passing on great opportunities.

    The husband and I were friends before we started dating. He had a major crush on this one chick and asked her to go out with him. She said yes but then blew him off because, at that time, he was geeky looking with big glasses and mismatched clothes.

    I took him under my wing and gave him the makeover of his life and I gotta say, I did a great job.

    When we bumped into her, after I dug out his hotness, I could tell she was shocked in the transformation and sadly she looked like a crack whore, you know, because she is.

  8. Nancy, thanks for the head's up on the soundtrack, I'll definitely get it because I love Indian music.

    Vodka Mom,I'll take you up on your VERY generous gift.

    Shade, this is one movie you can't miss. Trust me.

    Suburban, the book is freaky but that's why I love it. I'm a freak.

    Yes Braja, we were meant to be. I figured you'd read it. Hey, we call hundred dollar bills Benjamins so why wouldn't you call 100 rupees Kingsley? Go trendsetter, go.

    Bee, all exes are crack whores.

  9. So even if no one has recognized my strengths yet, I can still make it??? Thank you!

  10. I am planning on seeing Slumdog as soon as I can.
    I can't wait to read this book on reincarnation. I thought I read most of them, but apparently missed the best one!

  11. I have heard of this book, but I'd forgotten about it. Now I gotta have it. I think I need chapter 7. Also want to see Slumdog. I never see movies anymore and that totally sucks. Ben Kinglseys? Awesome. Passing up on the needle and condom? That really was a missed opportunity, you know.

  12. I decided the condoms were just too damn messy to ship, so I've decided to send my OBGYN She'll fix you up with a NIFTY hysterectomy. easy peasy.......

  13. I loved watching the cast of Slumdog travel in large pack and have those gorgeous kids with them everywhere. I am happy to say I was the first kid on my block to see the movie and I haven't stopped talking about it since.

  14. I've got to read that book.

    As for those things you left behind, there will be other opportunities to snatch up used condoms and hypos, right? Regret has no place in your life. Especially if this is like, what?, your third or fourth life?

  15. Anonymous1:54 PM

    Hey Suzy-
    Just checking in! I'm out in cyberspace, enjoyed seeing you and Jamey - wish I was there . . .I'll have to get the reincarnation book. I know my cat is someone that looks down on me.

  16. Anonymous12:22 PM

    Did you read about how the kids are still wearing their red-carpet outfits around the slums? The boy's mom said he is not adjusting to life back home after all he experienced in LA. How could he?