Monday, December 07, 2009

What Happens When You Don't Have Health Insurance

You end up at a place where no one understands you. My friend Kenny, who once told me he remembered me when my stomach was flatter, gave me a number to call. And no, it wasn't a plastic surgeon's office.

I needed to get my stitches out after 5 days so I went to the clinic behind Kenny's phone number.Hmmmm. Well, it was a woman's clinic and the last time I checked, I was half-woman half- metal parts.
As anyone can plainly see in the picture above, it looked uh, scary? As anyone can plainly see in the picture below, it looked like a bodega.
But it turned out to be a gynecologist, OB-Gyn clinic. I guess that creepy window above hid the speculum room. And the beer and snacks.

Below is a picture of where I was supposed to go, right across the street. Note the vertical sign on the corner of the building. It says ACNE and CELULITIS. They should've just put up a sign that said SUZY'S PAST and PRESENT.

Did I get the stitches out? No. They were not 'done', not 'cooked.' Now a normal person would have freaked out but not me. I was happy to dance out of there and only pay $25.00. Who are these magicians and why don't the rest of the medicos follow suit? Do doctors A. want us to die or B. just bankrupt us? Ooooh call on me teacher!! I know this answer, ooooh ooooh ooooh!!

I had to go back this past Saturday and the doctor, after sticking a fork in me, proclaimed me still not done. THEN I freaked out. And started babbling about not getting the dreaded stitch dots that only a narcissist like me even knows about.

So now I go back tomorrow and will cry like a baby when they pull them out. It will be my 14th scar. It would have been #15 but that one faded and there's no trace of it. The other ones are visible. Numero 15 was behind my ear. And nobody looks behind your ear.

Because life is endlessly annoying.

End of chat.


  1. Dermagard (or something like that) - we used it after Susie's stitches were taken out to lessen the scarring. Got it at CVS, I think...just ask a pharmacist.

  2. Anonymous1:14 PM

    When I lost my SAG insurance in the 90s, I went to the LA Free Clinic. The cost was whatever you wanted to pay. There was a long wait, but the doctor seemed competent. Then I found out that some of their doctors were doing community service, having been caught using drugs or having gotten a DUI, etc. My foot (which I thought might be broken) was fine. Even the x-ray was free.
    Aloha, MJ

  3. OK, yes you scared me with the first pictures.

  4. christ, I'll come over and do it myself.

    I'll be there in ten hours. Leave the light on.

  5. and DON'T go to that place again. I am scraping together some of The Golden BOy's change. I'll pay for the nice clinic. Just give me a few minutes to check in the dryer and in the bottom of the couches.

    be right back.

  6. Suz try having a doctor tell you you have breast cancer and no insurance so they are unable to treat you. Yep that's my life right now.

  7. Anonymous2:24 PM

    Sign says 'Urgent Care'. Would have to be urgent to get my fanny into that place.

    No insurance... ya, that would be scary.

    The Blue Ridge Gal

  8. I have a friend who is vetenary assistant. LOL, she took the stiches out of my forehead. She saved me 50 bucks. :)

  9. OMG! That building looked beyond bad!
    Scars are great! They each tell such an amazing story. Well, maybe not amazing...

  10. Eeeeuuwww.
    That top place...I'd rather use a coat hanger.

  11. signs by the acne company? and i thought wile e. coyote had it bad!

  12. I think we need to make you the poster girl for Universal Health Care.

    And it's Mederma for the scar.

  13. There should be more places like that in Vermont.
    I could take those sutures out for you, if only you lived closer.
    I could mail you a suture removal kit if you want.

  14. Boys love girls with scars!!

  15. Suzy,
    hmm....i didn't notice nothin wrong with the windows, maybe the curtains needed cleaning a little...err..uhm.. did they serve free beer...well alrighty then, I know i got some stitches, most of from laffin with you at these posts

  16. New to your blog...loving it!

    I grew up with doctors. I've been told since a child "don't be a can take out your own stitches". Cobblers children with no shoes...doctors daughter with no bedside care.

  17. I usually pull my own stitches out. I haven't had stitches in a while though.
    That clinic looked shady though.

  18. Those pictures scared the hell out of me, BUT the doctor must be OK if he said you weren't "done yet." Because if you aren't done and they pull the stitches out prematurely, that can't be good, right?

  19. -->I was thinking of dirty needles and hepatitis C in the first set of pictures. Scary!

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  21. My sister-in-law is a veterinarian and she showed me how to take out stitches so I wouldn't have to pay for removing the stitches from our dogs/cats/kids/self. The little stitch-removal-scissors cost like $5 and the only other thing you need to do it yourself is some tweezers. And a couple of shots of tequila.

  22. Dude is that Chi-town? Or Figueroa?
    Either way..your f___ed!