Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Here Comes Her 19th Nervous Breakdown

Three and a half weeks off Lexapro.

I took them because my hands were numb and I couldn't write, tie things or do dishes. I cried all the time. After a year my hands are still numb even though I can now write, do dishes and tie things. For the last 2 days I've cried. I haven't cried in a year. Even in my diminished capacity as a zombie I knew that wasn't good.

Looking back, there was always that one woman in every neighborhood who was rumored to have had a nervous breakdown. Other neighbors whispered about the "poor thing" and the husband who drove her to this neural wasteland in his gambling/cheating/drinking car.

Your parents told you to stay away from her. Otherwise what? She'd let you watch TV and eat mashed potatoes all day?

Now everyone can enjoy their nervous breakdown because of medication. It's unlikely anyone else can drive you to this brink of living. You can take a cab there all by yourself. Even Psychiatry no longer calls a nervous breakdown by that name. It's now known as a Major Depressive Episode.

It just sounds like a bad day at a Barney's sale.

We have medicated the shame of the nervous breakdown away into what the Urban Dictionary now refers to as a nervy b.

How are you supposed to enjoy someone's crazy eyes and bad hair days, not to mention the endless parade of mismatched pajamas and yelling at the mailman, if they're only having a nervy b?

They have taken the solemn rituals of falling completely apart and turned it into a rapper's name.

I object.


  1. I thought "I has a sads" was bad enough but dayum - "nervy b"? What's next? Manic-Depressive has already morphed into Bipolar Disorder. Will it just become "Hi'n'Lo"?

  2. I don't know, my stepsister just had a "nervy b" and nervous breakdown is exactly what the psychiatrist called it.

  3. Anonymous10:16 AM

    I thought nervous breakdown had morphed into "meltdown," what w/this being the post- (?pre-) nuclear era, depending on the situation in either Iran, North Korea, or other emerging threat. On the other hand, maybe men have "meltdowns" (sounds more macho) and women still have "nervous breakdowns."
    Aloha, MJ

  4. Nervy b makes it sound cool. Now I can't wait to have mine!

  5. I hope you feel better soon Suzy! You have had some bad lucky lately friend. Kori xoxo

  6. -->Nervy B sounds like a good twitter name.

  7. Wow - I haven't heard the words "nervous breakdown" in forever. That phrase belongs to the era of lonely housewives and valium, doesn't it?

    Yet, I prefer it to "depression." Nervous breakdown at least implies that you might have a perfectly good reason for falling apart.

  8. Nervy B? I thought somebody busted a cap on him! I had no idea he was still with us!

    Is he still #1 on the rapper charts for best song called A-sy-lum?

    I flirted with him a few years back and almost lost my mind! better stay away from that boy! He's bad news!

  9. Nervy B sounds like it's the name of the new Victoria's Secret super duper push up bra.

  10. I like Jami's "Hi'n'Lo." I can almost picture the medication's packaging, in convenient little sachets you can put in your coffee.

    Perhaps we should start having something else, like anguished disintegration or a tortured emotional collapse.

    How dare they take the drama away from the experience - that's the whole point of the thing.

  11. I have a nervy b every day at 3:00. That's when the kids get on the bus.


  12. Yikes, a nervy b? That sounds to me like code for a ballsy broad. I am a Nervy B! I say that to myself in the mirror all the time, and I'm totally psyched to conquer the world! Now you say it with me too. "I am a nervy b!" The Urban Dick has it all wrong.

    Lexapro, huh? I never liked that crap. Prozac worked wonders, but it leveled me out too much over time, and then Cymbalta was the next big thing, which worked pretty well, but when I was ready to get off was equivalent to 13 bitches sitting on my shoulders. All that to say, I get it. It passes, but do whatever you need to to be well. No shame in that.

    Hugs and happy holidays (I'm nothing if not PC).


  13. Sorry 'bout the nervy b's. Nothing funny about it, really.

  14. Still loving my Lexapro, but I can cry. I knew someone else though that couldn't cry on Lexapro.
    I wish there were still Nervous Breakdowns. THen I might be able to take some time off while visiting a sanitarium. Or a Sani-T!

  15. I hope you have a lovely Christmas.


  16. Anonymous7:55 AM

    I like the sound of nervy b. Kinda catchy... Oh, and my mom was the one in the neighborhood that had the nervy b when I was a kid... but it was the divorced woman across the street that got talked about.

    Gotta love the 1960's... LOL

    Merry Christmas!
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  17. Huh...I don't speak Urban...I only speak two languages, English and Bad English.

    Also, I don't bother trying to figure out if I'm having a nervous breakdown - I already KNOW I'm nuttier than a Claxton fruitcake.

    I just tell the people who matter that I'm "In it." and let the rest of the world take care of itself.

    I cried this case you're keeping score.

    Hugs to you, Mizz Suzy...

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who is happy despite not knowing how to DO happy, but she is still in it)

  18. You have had a few "nervy b" worthy months haven't you?
    I do know that women this side of 35 (let's just say) are similar to teens. The hormones are up and down and can affect meds. You may need a bit of medication tweeking. I know you must be overwhelmed by all the other Dr. bill/insurance crap right now and/or holidays but... take care of this.
    You don't have to be blue.
    Of course after writing that Elvis and Blue Christmas will not leave my head, where is MY medication?
    Merry Christmas Suzy :)

  19. I'm starting to make plans for your 20th now that I know it's on the horizon. We'll have bubble gum dispensers filled with tranquilizers and lots of kleenex and comfort food. Hang in, love.

  20. all I can say is, I'm right there with you. I made a med switch from prozac to lex a couple of weeks ago. if only a "nervy b" could get us a trip to a spa instead of a script!

  21. I had a great grandmother that "took to her bed"...for ten years and never got out.

    I'm the "peculiar" one in the family...I must have inherited some of her nervy b genes.

    At least your writing, doing dishes and tying things.

  22. I am really behind the times. I'm still having "meltdowns". Must upgrade vocabulary. Do I get extra crazy points for moving from Santa Monica to the Valley? I need to know the rules...