My car hit a wall.
A man tried to scam me.
My acupuncturist saw my breasts.
Does anyone have any heroin I could borrow?
Monday, March 23, 2009
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- Suzy
- I'm a standup comic. My first book, Celebrity sTalker, is now available on Amazon. I've entertained the troops for the USO and performed in 8 countries and 24 states. I'm also the co-creator of Single, Married & Divorced. You might have seen me on Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Find Me:
I'm published here:
And here:
And here:
And also here:
My jokes are published here:
April 21, 2011
Click on this link for my resume on LinkedIn.
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And here:
And here:
And also here:
My jokes are published here:
April 21, 2011
Click on this link for my resume on LinkedIn.
Visit FnS Network
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 License.
WHAT?! I hope you are okay.
ReplyDeleteI already commented on the breast thing in my comment on your last post. Oops, I guess they ran into one...
I'm sure you can find some heroin if you just hang out at the local grade school playground for a while.
Suzy- you've got some 'splainin' to do!
ReplyDeleteDo tell!
I have special covered cherries I can send :-)
ReplyDeleteAre you okay, were you in the car when it hit the wall...how can he see your boobies Isn't your pain down further?
I am so confused!
Hit a real wall or a proverbial wall? Either way, sucks immensely. I'm typically not very generous with my heroin, but I'm willing to make an exception here.
ReplyDeleteHoly Toledo, Suzy, we've got to fix your karma. I'm looking forward to the detailed blog post (I'm assuming you're okay since you're writing!).
ReplyDeleteI do have some extra Vicodin, though :)
jesus- if we go anywhere together I AM DRIVING.
ReplyDeleteNow put your shirt back on.
was the scam to do with the wall...or the breasts...or neither...
ReplyDeleteSure, I've got some heroin for you. But first, I'm gonna need to see your tits.
ReplyDeleteAgain.
Boss O xxxx
why you flashing your acupunturist? what happened? and i'm doing better today so no doc- J had this last week...except she bounced right back after a day...and the office thing? he's excited for it. :)
ReplyDeleteLook on the bright side, if this shit didn't happen to you, you'd have nothing to write about, and then I'd be bored. And we can't have that, can we?
ReplyDeleteIt'll be a really bad day when your podiatrist sees your breast.
ReplyDeleteAt least your acupuncturist had a good day. Don't bogart my heroin.
ReplyDeleteThat does sound like a truly crappy day. I prescribe alcohol.
ReplyDeleteCan I be your Acupuncturist?!? Just give me some time to figure out what to do with the needles...
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha. You people won't be happy until I blog my funeral.
ReplyDeleteAww, sugar, I'm sorry - that's a sucky, sucky day. No heroin here, but I could maybe spare some Cadbury Mini Eggs...
ReplyDeleteI hope tomorrow's a better one.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
I read this post after the detailed post and I have to say your summary is just as hilarious as the real thing.
ReplyDeleteWell, you're just damn funny anyway. I bet you could blog about a page in a phone book and it would be funny.
Also, I think that scammer guy probably had heroine at the place he wanted to take you.
You fucking slay me... I am so glad I am catching up.. FINALLY!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any herion but I keep my crack pipe within reach.
ReplyDelete