Apparently this Southwest plane was so offensive to some fliers that they called it 'soft porn.' Comics have been saying this for millenia; people just don't have a sense of humor. That's why I love every single person who reads me because you get me. Oddly enough, I don't read my own blog because there's not enough soft porn in it.This post is the 50th Bite Me Friday. That's a LOT of bitching and moaning. People who've known me for a long time are saying, "Don't you mean 5,000th?"
Rude.
This week I had lunch with a super popular blogger. Can you guess who she is? (check the bottom of this post for the answer). My camera totally sucks because her turtleneck was the most beautiful shade of lavenderishpurple. With a coat to match. We had talked on the phone a while back and finally got to meet. She's so super nice and funny and I'm so super evil that it was amazing we could converse. Thanks to her, I went C R A Z Y and put on two inch heels. I was so over my flats and Doctor Whore For Money said I could wear them starting last AUGUST. I'm really on top of my recovery, huh? But I couldn't get my black leggings on and dear GOD I am so pale I could play Snow White at Disneyland.
This was our waiter Matt. You can't see it but his eyes are so blue. All of this happened at Buddha's Belly, on Beverly Blvd. If you love great Pan-Asian food, go check this restaurant out, it's worth it.I like that TV show Lie to Me. I memorize all the tics and clues and then immediately forget them. Probably just as well since if I actually KNEW who was lying to me, I'd have to kill them. And then I'd be friendless. And in Sing-Sing.
This Saturday I'm going to be guest hosting at another popular blog. I'll link it tomorrow.
End of chat.
ANSWER: Margaret. (Now click on her name to discover her blog if you haven't already)
Periwinkle? The lovely turtleneck on the slightly concerned looking blogger lady (whose blog name reminds me of a place in Tiger, Georgia, called Goats on the Roof)looks periwinkle in the photo.
ReplyDeleteWhy does your waiter look afraid??
I adore Lie to Me. I can usually remember the tics and tells they mention, but it doesn't matter - I just accept what folks tell me as truth until it's proven otherwise. Drives my family crazy, because they think I'm naive bordering on stupid...but I'm a lot happier than they are (who presume someone is lying to them, are suspicious of people's motives, and think I let people take advantage of me...and I'M the paranoid one??).
I like your grumping. Puts thing in perspective out here in Mundania.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
I would like to meet the one who sold Southwest on this, that is one hell of a salesperson. I think it is a lil tacky myself.
ReplyDeleteSuzy we will be happy to follow you over there tomorrow. :-)
That you lyin' on the side of that plane Suzy? Bloody show off....
ReplyDeleteLove her turtleneck.
ReplyDelete(The top, not her turtle neck!)
You'd never end up in Sing Sing unless you committed your crime in New York state--it's a state prison. You might end up in Folsom though!
ReplyDeleteLie to me - excellent show. More like this one and fewer like the Bachelor, please.
ReplyDeleteAck! A real picture of me! I'm surprised Braja didn't say something about it since she seemed to comment when I showed my chin the other day. Of course she calls me Panties all the time, so maybe the name threw her off.
ReplyDeleteYou made me break out my Seinfeld DVD collection to rewatch the Babka episode and I turned on the "Notes about Nothing" feature and they totally give us your name and that you're a standup comedian. I almost took a picture of that to blog off of.
Funny how we both threw Matt up there!
Your picture of Matt is way better than Nanny's.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Nanny Goats In Pantie!
ReplyDeleteI would've loved to have been a fly on the wall at that lunch.
Would you believe we had a fifteen minute discussion on leggings at our house tonight? Apparently they are considered the tool of the devil in our daughter's high school because girls are accused of wearing leggings to get around the dress code for skirt length.
ReplyDeleteI say you just tell people that pale is the new thing.
And I love Nanny Goat in Panties, but I'm a hideous lurker who never comments.
Wait, is that picture on the airplane available for purchase? I think it would look great in my living room!
ReplyDeleteSo, this flat iron curling thing is awesome but your flat iron has to have rounded edges in order for it to work.
Take a strand of hair and clamp the flat iron onto it right by your scalp. Then while keeping the hair clamped in loosely, turn the flat iron a full 360 degrees so you are essentially wrapping your hair around the iron. Then keep the iron turned while you lightly drag it from your scalp to the ends of your hair and you've got yourself a perfect ringlet!
I'm a first time visitor to your site and just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed laughing my way through this and some of your previous posts. You're hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure as a comedian you've only heard that once or twice :)
Hilarious.. I Heart Southwest of course, cause I'm from Texas and know about 5000 people who work there... Sexy pilots included..
ReplyDeletePeace,
R
Oh flips! I'm sitting slumped in a chair at my desk with a GIGANTIC bag of chips on my lap and was JUST about to shove a handful of chips into my mouth and clicked on your newest post...and there's soft porn showing hottie mchottiness. I slowly shoved the chips back into the bag...scrolled down and saw the lovely turtleneck on Margaret and promptly forgot that I'd like to be hot and grabbed another handful of chips and stuffed them in!
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous of all the bloggers meeting bloggers...I wanna go somewhere to do something with someone!!
Margaret's blog is hysterical. That's so cool you two got to meet.
ReplyDeleteP.S. We call that color blurple at our house.
Suz- Anyone ever bit you on Friday?
ReplyDeleteHi! I found you from your guest post on Vodka Mom. I'm having a great time reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteFirst time here and I'm your new follower. I read your guest blog at Vodka Moms and came right over. Love the Bite Me Friday posts!
ReplyDeletePeriwinkle is my favorite color.
ReplyDeleteI wanna see a picture of you in those heels!
I just got off the phone with Braja, who insisted I come over immediately. Well I don't fuck with Braja, so here I am. These pictures were disarmingly familiar until I realized I read it over at Nannypanties. Margaret is a bloggy friend, too, so in the words of Orphan Annie "I think I'm Gonna Like it HERE!!" Can't remember, that song may've only been in the movie version. Welcome to my head. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDelete