And Then

The model was the blonde. I can't believe how up on models you all were. I kept calling them The Trees and going, "Trees, over to the left." Or "Trees, give me your best model smiles." They are 16 years old. Then I said, "Trees, give me your money." Can Crystal Meth be far behind?

Teri Hatcher was there but I didn't see her. I was told she is magnificently tall and of course, fat free. Bitch.

I was wearing The Shroud Of Turin and the sister pictures go up tomorrow.

The next photos were taken poorly and I only have my fingers to blame for that. Seriously, if you can name all the items on this plate we are NEVER going out to eat together. And they may want to look into lemon wedges next time, and Tabasco, or Worcestershire or fucking pepper or killing the cooks. Hey, I just thought of something. SEA SALT!

Believe it or not, the pile of little brown things was delicious as was the chocolate dessert. We left early and ate again at Lindy's.

The infamous Ben Stein, one of the presenters, sat next to us and I still fucked up the picture.And of course, the Stars of the evening, Ellen and Portia. They looked so happy together that all I could think about is why the U.S. has such a problem with other people's sex lives. Not to mention other people's joy.
Ellen was on TelePrompter for their acceptance speeches but in the next picture she waved the Tele guy to stop because she told him she was going off script. At one point she was imploring people to take a chance on all these animals and said, "Look at me. I came out and got no grief..." and the crowd roared their acceptance. It really was a sweet moment and now I think I'm gay.

As the old joke goes, "Let gays get married; why should only straight people be miserable?"

I had turkey for lunch yesterday and prime rib for dinner. If you believe The Blood Type Diet I'm O Neg and so is everyone in my family. All O types are carnivores and crave meat. Thank GOD.

More to come.