Welcome to my sidebar Pippi! Try not to steal anything.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSI1vkaoou3xc4ZrEZEAeaEVVmohgSe7qZY8QMgc7Q3_YfzLjg6T9JfLrXy3DDqL23I2YQ236iaCWb7A53Q9p5oZuOC4AkrRh23CyTkqnimSxmA5sMUGFrDnm5lMpCOlwjYNaRNg/s400/PippiApril.jpg)
So to all the friends out there who are not telling the truth about what you think of someone's partner or to the friends who are protecting their friendships by keeping their mouths shut, I award you this.
Either way someone loses.
...is not funnier than Jenny flipping people off?
Yeah okay, maybe she wins that. In other news I think my nose is growing.
I stole the above photo from Jenny the Bloggess's website and taken by Jenny herself. I'm a little disturbed that she is passing herself off as *injured* when she can drive, take a picture of her hand and FLIP OFF PASSERSBY. In my photo I could not see out of one eye and could not drive unless it was into a building. So I'm not funnier than her but for the love of God could I at least be the more grievously injured?
The guy in that email whose name I'm hiding because I'm afraid you'll all agree with him and then I'm going to have to move to earthquake-ravaged Chile where they know the real meaning of injuries and start a blog about being kicked out of the U.S. because I'm unable to determine what is or is not a funny injury said he likes my around town photos.
Like this one, a can of Campbell's Chunky Fully Loaded Rigatoni and Meatballs soup someone left on a ledge in a parking lot. If you can figure out where the comma goes in the above paragraph then you should definitely play the lottery today.
Translation of *I do like your around town photos?* STOP WRITING. Ok, fine. I'm not going to but fine.
For those of you who don't know how I got started in standup check out this interview with me. No one gets hurt though so you might be bored.
Also? It has been brought to my attention that I get more comments when the Bloggess is in my posts. She's only been in 2 posts besides this one which makes 3 and if this is someone's subtle way of telling me that I'm not that interesting without her, DULY FUCKING NOTED.
End of chat.
I'm pretty sure I don't answer to *User Name Here* but I used to drink so maybe I did before I lost most of my cognitive skills in a Grey Goose mano à mano.
Then Jenn warned me:
Then Sanjeet, whose name means Plug My Website in Hindi, warned me again with this original comment:Then coincidentally - or was it - I got this comment the next day:
So here's my report card for last Friday's post:
Ability to convey sarcasm to people with no name - F
Ability to convince readers of my expertise in tongue in cheek commentary - F
Overall job performance - I don't have one but if I did it would be - F
Fear of The Bloggess kicking my ass and overcharging for band aids - A+
Created by Spencer L. Casey
Created by Emily Szelestey.
Created by Deb Thaxton.
Another bonus? You can track your favorite comedians, singers, authors, artists and write them, hoping they'll fill the void that is your life by pretending that you know them. Conan O'Brien just joined and as much as I think he was a big baby for walking away from his job, his tweets are hilarious.
If anyone's curious what I look like with a beard, it's this ?:^(0) Coincidentally, that's also my ATM pin number.
This morning I watched Remington Steele while eating Sugar Smacks out of a salad bowl. I was naked.
Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.
And yes, I'm following him and no, he has no idea who I am. But if he did he would probably be afraid of me too.
End of chat.