Friday, September 04, 2009

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Four more votes and now I'm tied for 9th place. Someone PLEASE break the tie. And remember, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how many people you disappoint along the way.

Yesterday I sent about 3 million emails that said "I've lost my checkbook and can't find it anywhere." Then I got 3 million responses along the lines of Please stop contacting me and Have you checked up your ass yet? I'm starting to see the appeal of Twitter.

And with Twitter, the x-ray vision of my Tweetees would have been able to see my misplaced checkbook from their home in Scottsdale.

I'm still living in the early zeros. Then no one knows if I'm referring to an era in time or their children.

I had 3 alarm clocks in my bedroom. One would break and I'd just pull out another one. This was my version of Crazy Cat Lady. When I got down to my travel alarm it was just sad. Especially since I don't have a job so why do I need an alarm clock? So I won't miss Regis and Kelly?

So I searched everywhere for a CD-themed alarm clock because I have hundreds of CDs. But now they only make them with IPod bays. Since the 80's, when everyone had a Walkman and now 20 years later has lost 40% of their hearing, I never put anything noise-related in my ears. I rarely use my cell phone because I'm not clear that all the data is in on brain cancer. Today's teenagers will tell us in 20 years only we'll miss the news because we'll be too hard of hearing.

I finally found one at Best Buy.

I stand in line and remark to the 12 year old cashier that the Sony appears to be cobbled together by Kleenex and a smile.

"It's a Sony," he whispered conspiratorially.
"I know."
"They make great stuff."

Did I have a used tissue stuffed up my sweater sleeve? Was I gathering my ratty shawl to my bony frame and shivering? Had I dragged my death bed along behind me? WHO DOESN'T KNOW A SONY MAKES GREAT STUFF? God, young people annoy me. But so does everyone else so there you have it.

Someone gave me this award and even though I usually keep all the info you're supposed to keep on an award I lost it on this particular one. Anyone?So, another day, another 25 cents.

End of chat.


  1. very nice award and congrats I would have to say perhaps from Bella!

  2. goolged I found...

    This is a very special award and the person it was made for is a very special woman. She is a sister-friend, a talented artist, A great mom, a poet, a mental ninja, a muse, beautiful, a genius, and her friend-sister Ces created it for her. This is what Ces says about the award…Read the whole post here.

  3. Congrats on the award, and on being tied for 9th place in a contest that has no meaning at all because you already know you are funny and I am totally tired of telling you that all week. And where's my t-shirt anyway? You can keep the coasters, but I want that damn t-shirt.

    And some organic vodka.

    Oh, wait! I gotta get that from Braja.


    Have a great weekend.

  4. I hate smart ass kids! They have no clue..glad you found a new clock radio. Have a great Labor Day!

  5. CDs - is that an ap for my iPhone?
    And something I'v ebeen wondering about ECBMFridays - can we pick where? (you should be pretty scarred up by now)

  6. Wow, I feel so...memorable. I gave you that particualr award, you great big goober. Cheez Whiz!

    So there.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (Who only has a clock radio in her room, which may or may not work because she doesn't use it)

  7. OK, Mizz Suzy - I just voted three more times. I feel so...dirty...

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  8. 'great big goober'.....hehehehehehe!!!

  9. Looks like you're at number 8 now. Someone else posted on my site that they were stopping by to vote.

    I have a Sony Dream Machine (Cd alarm clock) that I passed on to my daughter because I couldn't figure out how to set the alarm (she can't either). Now I have an Ipod dock alarm clock and I can't figure that one out either.

    I use the alarm on my cell phone and I don't have to get up for work either. Lol!

  10. I voted last November - isn't that enough?

    Oh, wait. That wasn't for you.

    This decade is "the Naughties," brought to you by Diesel at The Mattress Police blog.

  11. I simply had to come over here because of the post title.
    I love it.
    My husband says BITE ME all the time.

  12. Those 3 million emails could have been from me. But I don't know your email address. Hey, are you on Twitter?

    Thanks for your kind comments on my blog.

  13. I think Roshni gets best comment.

    I'm going to my husband's computer and voting for you again. I know. I'm incredible.

  14. The only thing more annoying than young people is old people. Especially old people writing checks.

  15. That's a really good looking award so I hope you use the info Dar found for you.

    And at least you have another 25 cents.

  16. I am not sure what to do about your votes. I mean I threatened everyone I know with broken legs and cement Jimmy Choo's if they don't go over there and vote for you right this very minute. So far I have sent my father, brother, step mother, sister and daughter to sleep with the fishes the rest of my family are hobbling around on crutches. Got to go now off to buy more quick crete. Oh wait am I supposed to let them vote BEFORE I sink them?

  17. Sony USED TO make good stuff. Now, sometimes, Sony makes pure shit.

    I remember when the iPod alarm clocks were only to be found in rich-people's homes. Now that's all you see.


  18. I can't hear you...something about Sony.

    They make great stuff you know.

  19. Everything is crap these days. It's all disposable and will break in roughly23 months.

    I sound really grumpy in that comment!! Oddly, I'm not :)


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