Friday, December 19, 2008

It's Everyone Can Bite Me Friday!

So much bitching, so little time. "Merry Christmas." I grew up saying it and "Happy Holidays" means we have to include Washington's Birthday, July 4th and Martin Luther King day.

I refuse.

If you're Jewish say Happy Hanukkah if you want. Same goes for Kwanzaa. But don't shame the rest of us by taking away what we like best. And if we can't threaten little kids with Santa's naughty or nice list, then you, the parent, are totally fucked. Child rearing is all about bossing the little people around. With Happy Holidays what are you going to say? "If you're not good this year I'm not taking you to the white sale at Macy's for Memorial Day?

This is one of my favorite pictures ever. Not the big one but the one below it of Leslie and her son J. Single, Married & Divorced was doing a photo shoot and at the end the photographer indulged Leslie with what was supposed to be a Christmas card shot. J, however, who was perfect throughout the shoot, decided he was done for the day.

Single, Married & Divorced

I came across this great quote in New York Magazine:

"Career women, especially those of a certain age, recognized themselves in Clinton and the reactions she provoked. "Maybe what bothers me most is that people say Hillary is a bitch," said Tina Fey in her now famous Bitch is the New Black skit. Let me say something about that: Yeah, she is. So am I...You know what? Bitches get stuff done. At least being called a bitch implies power."

I have to admit that I don't like mamby-pamby women or men. I love me some bitches. They're a lot more fun and I'm happy that I have so many who read this bitchy blog, including my gays, who are the best a bitch like me could hope for. Now bring us some dirty martinis and tell me which shoes go with this skirt.

My theatre mentor from Arena Stage in D.C., Robert Prosky, died last week at the age of 77. He was the one who urged me to audition for the main company and I got in and then turned it down because I was in love with a man who grew up, married a rich woman and played the guitar all day. Have I mentioned I have terrible taste in men?

Prosky was one of the best character actors in the business. He was also a sweetheart. My thoughts go out to his family.

And lastly, a girl in our building died. 32 years old, she had just gotten her first big movie role. Died of natural causes, apparently. Toxicology is being done now. She lived alone with her cat and eventually when her parents couldn't find her, they filed a missing person's report. She died 2 days after Thanksgiving and was found a week later when the police broke into her apartment. Her death brought up a few issues for many of us. For starters, the police lie, which they are allowed to do to get information. They told me everything was 'fine' when I asked what was going on in her apartment with 7 cops, 3 patrol cars, 2 Morgue vans and one Morgue car when in fact she was lying face down on her carpet, dead.

The girl who lived next door to her broke her lease and moved out because she was scared. She probably unwittingly moved into a new place where someone had died. Anyway Marissa, I wrote this to say you are not forgotten.

End of chat.


  1. Man, everyone knew Robert Prosky...he was good...

    The most amazing thing in the world is that everyone thinks death isn't going to happen to them...

  2. I have been called a bitch more than once but I always got things done!
    I agree about "Merry Christmas" and always make it a point to say that as opposed to "Happy Holidays".
    Sorry about your neighbor - that must have been a little unsettling.

  3. Merry Christmas! This bitch is heading to the Caribbean today!

    2008 certainly was a strange year for both of us.

  4. Holy crap. So sorry for your losses. Even when you have some understanding about them, they're rattling at the most unexpected moments.

    But MERRY CHRISTMAS to you anyway!

  5. Anonymous11:18 AM

    Feliz Navidad! I love the LAPD too. When I lived there I was at a dinner party in Hancock Park. We noticed some police cars and curiously went out to inquire, especially as some of the dinner guests had parked on the street and were worried about being towed. The cop screamed, "Get back into the house, there may be gunfire." We were on the floor for at least half an hour. There was no gunfire. The souffle was ruined.

  6. Jeez! Bad week already. Sorry for all the death.

    Hey, I am proud to say it out loud, Merry Christmas, bitch!

    Sorry I can't find anything tacky. And I was so looking forward to this contest. I'm still looking, but my guess is, as I have always known, we just don't have anything tacky in the south. ; )

  7. Hey, I liked Robert Prosky too.
    I wrote Happy Holidays on your card, feel free to cross it off and write Merry Christmas.
    Cops do lie, and I hope you can find out how Marissa really died.
    Oh, and love the jumper.

  8. Anonymous5:15 PM

    which goes to show you'll be fine as long as you don't go off and get yourself a awful.

    i went and googled his diagnosis to me- which makes NO SENSE- one part of it does, the second part of it doesn't- because well, i can move my toe. idiot.

    im off to research these arch supports. now i feel like scully. i trust no one.

  9. He's one of my favorite actors. Very sad indeed.

    And the young lady passing away is such a sad story. She was probably so dam stressed that it took her life! Stupid stress!!

    I'll be damned if I have to stop saying Merry Christmas to people!! Fuck that!

  10. I was smiling and had some snappy comment about how I was proud to be a Bitch, but somehow my sails have lost their wind.

    That is so sad about the young woman in your building--it's one thing when someone dies when they're sick, but when there's no apparent cause it's even sadder and scarier.

    I had a friend who was watching TV with her kids when she slumped over, dead. They never found any cause of death, she was just dead. It's hard to shake that.

  11. Robert Prosky was in SO many movies!

    I'm not sure what the woman breaking her lease was hoping for when she moved, but I wish her luck!


  12. I don't know whether to say Merry Christmas or sorry for your loss. What a week for you!

  13. What the fuck!! 32??? Nothing worse than passing on and nobody finding out until days later. That is so unbelievably sad.

  14. Anonymous7:46 PM


  15. I don't think I fully appreciated Senator Clinton's bitchiness until we endured Governor Palin. At least Hillary is honestly, openly bitchy.

  16. Oh, and Merry Christmas! Excuse me while I go eat some more cookies...