Friday, May 08, 2009

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

I can't afford my shrink. She's $350. an hour. Okay, Get up off the floor and clean up the tomato juice you spilled on your brand new white blouse and keep reading. She costs about 34 dresses at Wal Mart. But there's an alternative, I can go for FIFTEEN minutes for little checkups and they cost $110. or 7 dresses at Marshall's. Or 5 Starbucks. Or a vial of cyanide.

Yesterday I ended it. I'm fine. Except for the numb hands and spinal stenosis and no health insurance. I will go to my mother's in Paris and have it done there FOR FREE. Why the United States can't take care of their citizens who have health problems and were stupid enough to go into show business just breaks my heart since I was born with bone problems. AND NOT THE RIGHT KIND OF BONE PROBLEMS.

Mom arrives here on the 20th of May. By the time she leaves, SIX WEEKS LATER, I will have re-thought that freebie in France.

End of chat.

20 comments:

  1. You are the best at justify any dollar the master in my book! Blog world can be your therapy!

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  2. I can't fix your bones, but I'll lend and ear and shoulder for free!

    (I also have no health insurance...I feel your pain- well, not the bone pain.)

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  3. For $350 an hour I'd have you feeling fine in no time at all.

    The U.S. and no national healthcare system? It's a WTF?! to me.

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  4. Drives me crazy...the lack of health care for all, that is, not your mother...I have my own mother for that.

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  5. Being a nurse, I am in the middle of the no insurance thing. It drains hospitals of their funds, which means less money for nurses, which means less nures, which means more crappy care.
    The worst is that people have to suffer.
    I really shoulda got my masters then doctorate in Psychology. DAMN $110 for 15 freaken minutes!

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  6. No insurance here, either, and none in the offing. Thank goodness people pay their state taxes so the Evil Genius is covered, or we'd be sunk.

    Sigh.

    Also, I'm locked in my "crazy closet" just now, so I can offer no help whatever to your predicament. What are friends for??

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

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  7. six weeks? seriously?

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  8. That is a wing-dinger of a parental visit.

    wow.

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  9. OMG! I love my therapist, but I can assure you she does not charge me $350. However, I'd totally pay that if my mom were coming to stay with me for 6 weeks because I would otherwise probably blow my brains out.

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  10. Anonymous11:24 AM

    S,
    As you know, I live in Hawaii where anybody who works, or is poor, gets health insurance (that pretty much covers everybody). But I realized I hated my shrink and stopped seeing him in early January. It had nothing to do w/money. Sometimes they're just jerks (like any other segment of the population).
    Aloha,
    MJ

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  11. That's 350 pair of flip-flops at the Dollar Store.

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  12. My bags are packed, I'm going to France with you!!!
    J'ai besoin d'un endroit pour cacher et restaurer mon esprit. Est-ce que je peux venir, satisfaire ? ? ? ?

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  13. AND, my therapist's are a bottle of vodka and two very close friends. done.

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  14. yeah, but how do they pay for standup?

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  15. Just found you thru jenn at juggling and am competely hooked. I apologize in advance for snorting at your trials and challenges but you are wtf funny! And I thought my 90 therapist was expensive? She did love to tell me I was in the "car bird seat". Was that a good thing?

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  16. Look at Ms. Vodka all parle francois (obviously I don't)

    Maybe your Mom can guest post???

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  17. Same here in Canada. I don't get it, why the country cannot take care of its own, both physically and mentally. Just wrong, any way you look at it.

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  18. Same here in Canada. I don't get it, why the country cannot take care of its own, both physically and mentally. Just wrong, any way you look at it.

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  19. Can you do Jerry Lewis imitations? The French love him! Maybe after you get there you could find a nice French someone to take you in so you can be close to mom, but not too close.

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  20. Yeah, I am definitely in the wrong business. And if I had the opportunity to go to France, where I have ALWAYS wanted to go, I'd do it. Especially for the free health care.

    Um, enjoy your mom?

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