Thursday, April 09, 2009

I Don't Feel Funny Today

How is that different from every other day? It's not.

Yesterday morning I apparently forgot my hands are still numb so I made fried eggs and ham and was swinging the pan like Rachael Ray and it all ended up on the floor. Thank GOD for the 5 second rule.

I spilled a gallon of liquid on my computer last night because I'm JUST THAT COORDINATED and now the keyboard is all sticky. So I'm taking a sick day. How is that different from every other day? It's not.

Pirates? Really? It's like we're starting the world over. I'm going to wait for Vasco de Gama to show up. I don't even know what he did or if he even came to the US. I also don't know if I spelled it right but I just like the sound of it.

I'm too lazy to Google. Again.

End of chat.

13 comments:

  1. Even numb comedians need a day off. Take care of yourself.

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  2. You may not feel funny but you are! There's nothing wrong with eating off the floor - unless it's a dirt floor like the one in Vasco de Gama's crib.

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  3. Thanks Lisa.

    Susan, admit you got a kick out of writing Vasco de Gama.

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  4. and when you say you spilled liquid- do you mean a drink?

    it better not have been the expensive vodka, or I'll kick your ass...

    oh wait, you "don't drink". yeah. neither do i.

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  5. Um... how can you not be funny? Even when you think your not funny you have me snorting coffee out my nose and it really burns when it shoots out my tear ducts.

    The eggs... were they green eggs and ham?

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  6. You don't feel funny...but yet you are.

    Maybe we ARE laughing at you!

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  7. I'm with Susan--you're still funny, and I hope you're feeling less numb soon.

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  8. It doesn't count as a day off when you still make us laugh. Just thought you should know.

    I saw my ortho doc today for my hands but I'm experiencing excruciating pain (not right now obviously because I wouldn't be able to leave this comment) and I have been officially diagnosed with carpal tunnel.

    Great thing to have when you type all day. He did suggest I type for 45 minutes and then take a break. So for 15 minutes I will be swearing free of charge.

    Also, my coworker's son just came back from guarding the Somali place and he's upset he wasn't part of the action. I told her to tell him to shutty.

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  9. Why are you funny even when you're not funny? I have the opposite problem where I'm not funny and even when I try to be funny I'm usually not funny... strange how that works!

    Good luck with the computer keyboard. Sometimes it's better to just chuck it and start over (if we're only talking the keyboard...)

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  10. Why was the kid pirate not allowed into the movie?

    Bc it was rated "Arrrrr" (R).

    LMAO!!!!

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  11. My kids thought your poo story was hilarious! They saw me dying of laughter and made me read it aloud to them.

    I'm not touching that pirate thing. It's just too too weird. Love your take on it, though. If we're starting over, why can't we skip the hard parts?

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  12. I'm a frequent food dropper myself and was glad to learn that a scientific study confirmed the 5-second rule.

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  13. when you don't feel funny, what DO you feel like? :P lol

    and methinks it's DA gama... not that anyone gives a rat's ass ;)

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