Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Adventures In Man Land 3

After reading the comments section yesterday, I see a lot of us have the same problem when a man is driving a car. In my case, when he's driving, it's always, "We'll take a right at the light, we'll go left at the exit and take a U turn off the interstate." When I’m driving he'll say, "Get in the southbound lane, go west at that intersection and go north and south off the interstate." Like I'm Davy Crockett and there's a sundial in the car.

I hate driving with him. He reads every road sign out loud. Food, Gas, Lodging, 65 mph, 280 miles to Cleveland, which would scare me because we'd be in California at the time.

And another thing,why do men watch so much sports on TV? Is it because they can't read? Doctors claim men don't need as much anesthesia as women before surgery. For women, they just give them intravenous Valium and for men, they just turn on a TV.

Why are men such babies when they're sick? The guy next door got a head cold and he said to me, "I think my arm is going to fall off. I blew my nose and it was all wobbly and stuff."

Breaking up with a man is such a pain in the ass. I broke up with one guy and he said, "You know what your problem is? You have penis envy." And I said, "You're right, but not for yours".

I dumped another guy and said, "I just want to be your friend; I don't want to sleep with you anymore."And he said, "What's the definition of 'a friend' to you?" And I replied, "A friend is someone who will do anything for you." And he said, "Then lend me $500 and help me move next week. " And I said, "I think I could still fuck you."

End of chat.

18 comments:

  1. I wouldn't pay him or fuck him.

    Wait.

    Did I say that?

    ReplyDelete
  2. is he good looking? Does he bathe? Is he covered in hair???

    oh sweet jesus, did Braja just say fuck?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yesterday, someone was telling me about these women who met this guy online and sent him $10,000 to help support him in this business venture. Turns out he was homeless and his business venture involved hanging out in the casinos in Atlantic City... Are there really women out there who are that stupid? I wouldn't give a guy $10 unless I was legally obligated to give a shit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sick men are awful. Simply awful.

    ReplyDelete
  5. When my husband had to stay for a few hours in the E.R. for IV fluids, he kept telling everyone he was seeing dead people in his dreams.He thought he was dying. I just gave him the "look" which meant, cut it out you are embarrassing me! I knew the nurses where laughing at him as soon as they walked out the door. I did.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh mY Word..Braja! My ears!
    Men are big baby whimps (most of them anyway) that's one more reasson why I have a totally different palette! ;-p

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm with you on giving directions by E/W/N/S--it just sounds like blah, blah, blah. I'm not sure a sundial would help though--I think I'd need a compass!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Their dick and the sun is their constant sundial.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Or why won't a man go to the doctor or for that matter the emergency room?

    I had a friend whose husband cut his arm down to the bone with a power saw. He didn't say anything to anyone just duct taped his arm together and finished whatever he was doing with the power saw in the first place. Then 6 hours yes SIX hours later he walks into the kitchen and says "I cut myself could you put some neosporin or something on this?" She took him to the ER upon much protests and he had 37 stitches.

    Men are dumb.

    Oh and I would fuck him or feed him.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh, yes, they are *such* babies, aren't they? I know a man who works in the emergency room, and even he will complain about those of his gender.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh my...you gals are brutal. Butt I guess we do deserve it most of the time. :)

    Peace,

    Phil

    ReplyDelete
  12. lol... too phunny :P

    ReplyDelete
  13. suzy, i voted fur ye, now 58 votes

    is that good?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love men. They're very entertaining. Like trained seals.

    (except for you, Phil, you're the exception!)

    ReplyDelete
  15. suzy, if'n ye check yer email...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hahaha the last little segment was the best.

    It's nice to be reading your work again.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ha ha...Lisa. I am the ONE exception. Sorry, I'm a moron too...sometimes.

    Thanks though,

    Phil

    ReplyDelete