Two hours at the internist today. My blood pressure was 2 million over 1 million. So then he gave me Xanax and it dipped to 54 over 13. Sixty Xanax! With one refill! What surgery?
I've always wondered if anyone out there has a foolproof way to signal to another driver you know you're in the wrong. Driving to the doctor I was trying to cross 2 lanes in one block length amid bumper to bumper traffic so I could make a left hand turn. I had my turn signal on and was trying to ease over when a huge SUV came roaring up on me and started honking. He slowed up at the last minute and I flashed him the peace sign in my rear view. That has become my de facto mea culpa in the last few years. When the SUV saw that I had to make an immediate turn he zoomed past me and flashed me the peace sign. And kept his arm out the window for almost 5 seconds, still flashing the peace sign. First time that's ever happened.
Driving back from the doctor, a guy was honking at the car in front of him because he wasn't making the right on red that is legal in California. Not Turning Guy got out of his car and was screaming at Honking Guy. Honking Guy was yelling something but wisely chose to stay in his car. I wanted to give Screaming Guy some of my Xanax but hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Uh no.
If there was a contest to see who got up in the middle of the night to pee the most, I would win hands down. The idea that I have to do this on crutches, in the dark, for three months, makes me weep. And since I'm an insomniac, I can't be up too long in the middle of the night because I'll wake up and then be awake for the rest of the night. Can't wait!
Here's an at-home tip for all people who cut their own hair. Do not cut it dry when there is static electricity in the air. Trust me on this one.
My numb tingly hand disease has gone away.
This has been the worst week of allergies I've ever had in LA. When I first moved here I got some weird ones. One year I couldn't stop scratching my calves until they bled. And I'm not talking about baby cows here. The next year I got a cough that would accelerate into a vicious choke and friends would ask if they should standby for CPR. This year it has just made my eyes get all puffy and red and I feel like I'm dragging a truck behind me. In one 3 day period I took 15 Benadryl and they barely worked.
I never talk about politics because it normally bores me and people never change their minds about what they think about religion or politics so it's just a waste of time. But I'm so OVER Barack Obama. For the love of God man, if you mention the words "It's time for a change" once more I will lose it. WE KNOW IT. Eight years of Bush; even dead people know it. And for the love of all that is human and left wing, right after 9/11 I knew ONE person who opposed the war, my friend Gail in Florida. Everyone else, including those of us who actually lived in NYC, we believed Bush and thought it was the right thing to do. We know better now since Bush got caught in his lies. So if your entire bitch slap is about Hillary voting for the war SEVEN YEARS AGO, man up and let it go. If you're really that naive to think that Bush wouldn't have started the war without the approval of Congress, then I have nothing to say to you except you really don't understand politics. Or the Bush Family Robinson. My Dad worked for the government and one of my best friends works at Homeland Security. What the American people don't know about what's going on would fill the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.
And FYI, George W's entire campaign the very first year was him yammering about how we needed a change. And guess what? We got one!
I've been invited to post at Scrivel so I'll be alerting you in the future to go read my words falling on deaf ears over there.
End of chat.