Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Mailbag # 5

More anonymous news from my emails.....

That made me laugh so hard my neighbor started pounding on the wall.

I started on Prozac a week ago and it seems to be helping.

As a kid we went antiquing all through New England and to auctions and every museum and Corning Glass and Watkins Glen and the Grandma Moses museum and Howe Caverns and we also visited the monument to run-on sentences in Rensallaer, New York.

I love Oprah. Been on her show a few times.

Sarcasm is a cock block. No matter what words the sentence contains, the primal tonal implication too closely mimics, "You call that big?"

Thanks for the heads up on onions and garlic. I actually knew about spinach as I love it and had to cut back.

Do you play poker?

Just got back from Maryland, my little sister Marie finally lost her battle with cancer, she was 48.

We put a link to your blog on our site and quoted you in our press kit!

Sorry I didn't get you an invite for the party... I was pretty crazed.


I’ll drop by before I leave...which will probably be in an hour...I’d like to browse your accessory boutique, if you’re awake that is.

I am giggling like a little boy with a fart machine.

Thanks for the kind words about my work! Sometimes I question myself and ask...'what the hell am I doing this for?' I guess other kinds of artists question too!

I was thinking of making you something really yummy. A stick of herbed tofu rolled in a rice wrap with greens and veggies with a spicy sweet peanut sauce. It’s a veggie spring roll. I’ve made them before, they're good!

EVERYONE on my email list is getting this email. This does not mean that you’ve somehow joined my email list. You’re just getting it because I’m begging for something specific that crosses all boundaries of common courtesy.

End of chat.


  1. I'm sorry but "a stick of" anything doesn't strike me as yummy or good. Except for butter, of course.

    You correspond with some really strange people, you know. You have corresponded with me, for instance. Case closed.

  2. Anonymous10:44 AM

    Hey! I finally made the mailbag! What a nice thing to wake up too.


  3. I just want to confirm that those were several different emails, not just one really odd, really long email. Right?

  4. I just got an entry in this category to share:

    From my friend who's been diagnosed with lupus:

    "I'm doing better, the medication is beginning to work, so I'm sleeping through the night instead of in 2 hours stints. This up and down weather isn't helping much, but other than that, I'm okay. Like I tell the kids at church..all you need is drugs."

    On a not-so-relevant note..."Last Comic Standing" auditions were held just down the street from where I live in Nashville on Monday. A line had formed by Sun. afternoon. Unfortunately I couldn't go to the show that night. Do you know anyone auditioning?

  5. jami, I do have strange friends.

    Abeyta, you were a virgin at something? Shocking.

    Candy, yeah, all from different emails. Actually, two of them are from one email only.

    mark, that was a sad but funny email. I knew one person who auditioned in Texas. The auditions aren't real, they usually pick the comics they want in advance. It's just a ruse to get quirky and bad auditions, just like on American Idol.

  6. I'm seeing what you mean about "LCS" from reading the forum of frustrated auditioners (if that's a word):

    I saw the show Drew Carey walked out of as a judge because the producers only took the judges' decisions as a suggestion.

    I guess if comedy comes from pain, this show should boost a lot of careers...but not in the way they claim.

  7. Funny and sad emails this time. Of course it's all about the drugs with me. I am back on Lexapro now.
    I am with Jami in that the tofu roll doesn't sound that appealing!

  8. Hello! I just thought I'd extend an invitation to a network of Los Angeles bloggers.. It's a great way to get more readers and find new and interesting blogs:

  9. Some day I'm going to do a post of all the stuff I say into my little digital recorder. Then we'll see who's crazy.

    Yes. Yes we will.

  10. mark, I went to the site but couldn't find the boards. I can be extremely retarded if I put my mind to it. And yeah, that Drew walkout was justified. They had picked a great comic and he didn't even make it. It's all politics.

    gm, I was on Lexapro a few years ago and loved it.

    diesel, you don't have to convince me youre crazy. You have a thousand jobs, you automatically qualify.

  11. boy, that's got to be some pretty satisfying correspondence. Press kits and shows and Oprah and all sorts of things. I'd be satisfied with tofu stick girl.

    But hey, sweet blog.

  12. About "Last Comic Standing"--sorry, should've given a more specific link; you'd have to click on the Auditions video section from that main page, or go directly to:

    The comments are underneath the video player on this page. You can click back through the page #'s underneath the comments to read more. (CAUTION: Some content may be inappropriate for those who care about spelling, grammar, and basic communication skills any grown person should have in this day & age)

  13. I would love to see all of your emailers together in a party. We could have a rousing game of "Pin the email on the partygoer." With prizes!

  14. Mark, thanks for the link. I just checked it out tonight. I've been telling comics for years that the ones who make it on the show are picked in advance and most are pros with 15-20 yrs and agents and managers.

    I think that newbies don't realize that LCS is NOT just about standup. They also look for the Troublemaker, the Bitch, the Crybaby etc. That is what makes good tv, to see the personalities mix it up.

    I watched the first 2 seasons but haven't watched since. It's pretty lame.