Thursday, November 01, 2007

What I Did Last Night For Halloween

I handed out x-rays of my foot. Because I like a good party as much as the next person. And the kids love looking at creepy things. And I like looking at kids who I've just scared to death.
I only wish this house had been in my neighborhood when I was growing up and trick or treating. I would have toilet-papered it so solidly they'd still be finding pieces of it today, just like you find those miserable little pine needles off your Christmas tree centuries after the holidays.

The house is across the street from me here in the Hills and whenever I walk by, I always want to shout, "They're called gardeners, people. Look into it."


  1. That is bad. If they don't have gardners then kids or rabbits would definately help.

  2. Go to Wal-Mart (Oh, yes you do so have one in your neighborhood - you live in America!) and buy a spray bottle of Round-Up in the garden section. Carry it with you when you walk past the place late at night and just let the spritzing muse dictate what to do next. Hey, it can't look much worse dead.

  3. seriously why didn't you toilet paper the damn thing? last night i handed nothing out- i went to the mall while my kid was with her dad...i kinda liked not having to get up and down all night for trick or treaters.

  4. Anonymous8:20 AM

    The only thing I gave out last night was a...well it wouldn't be ladylike to mention here, but you're a fellow scorpio so I'll leave it up to your imagination ;)
    Sometimes the shared custody thing really works out - not having to schlep up and down and around the neighborhood was just what I needed last night (mostly because the night before I was overseeing the baking and decorating of 4 dozen cupcakes and ghost cakes!).

    That yard could be so gorgeous!!! Maybe for the holidays you should send a gardner over there (don't pay him, just tell him yes yes they sooo want you to fix all that mess for C.O.D!).

    It's officially our birthday month! Let the libation consumption commence!

  5. It does make for a good haunted house though.
    At first I thought your X-ray was a photo of a Ghost. As if they can be photographed, or as if they exist.

  6. Anonymous12:03 PM

    anne, believe it or not, I'm one of the only ones in the neighborhood who doesn't like it.

    Jami, no WalMarts in LA.

    beckie, did you give out condoms to kids? How funny would that be for the parents?

    plain jane, you and beckie had a lot in common last night.

    gm, ghosts can be photographed, and then carefully photoshopped.

  7. Oh, they're there - they just disguise them as Home Depot.

  8. Anonymous4:25 PM

    Have you checked the name on the mailbox? Is it Hansel and Gretel?
    Martha Jane

  9. Anonymous6:43 PM

    mj, that's exactly what it looks like. And I swear, I'm the only one who hates it.

  10. You may be the only one who hates it in YOUR neighborhood, but I'm sending some remote dissin' suport your way from here. I can tell that these folks subscribe to the "Why just do it when you can OVER do it?" school of landscaping. Not good.

    (Seriously, get some Round-Up.)

  11. OK. I'm torn. I LOVE the line, but I kinda like the house, too...

  12. Anonymous11:15 AM

    jami, great minds etc.

    madmad, it's okay to like it. I like plenty of shit that others hate.

  13. Shhhh - you might wake the scary neighbor people.

    Hey! Bossy just found out she is a finalist for the Weblog Humor Blog funniest something blah blah. Come over and throw her a vote. Or show her an xray.

  14. Anonymous3:26 PM

    Bossy, ye of little faith. I voted for you hours ago.

  15. I think I've seen this one before, The Amityville Aborist.

    Very creepy.

  16. Anonymous6:40 PM

    brentd, heh heh


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