Sunday, June 28, 2009

Stop Asking Me To Join Facebooger

These are things you should know about me:

1. I'm not a joiner.
2. I don't want some jealous anonymous skank pinning some doody on my wall.
3. I don't care where you are.
4. I don't care what your status is unless you're dead.
5. Google, I'm all over the first 15+ pages.
6. People know where to find me, I assure you.
7. I can't get female comics to compliment me on my blog, (they send me emails if they think it's funny, but GOD FORBID they go on the record with it.) So imagine what Facebooger will make them do.
8. (Except for Martha and Ann and Fahey and her red chair diaries, who are fairly normal comics).
9. I blog to showcase my writing and humor.
10. I got jobs off my blog.
11. What did you get off Facebooger? Old high school friends?
12. Old College friends?


  1. Facebooger would not be fun!!! I think people send you notes expecting you to have to write a note back??


    Teachers are told not to have one.

  2. You're better's a time suck, a brain drain, a...umm...excuse me...someone just updated their status and I have to comment...and then there's that quiz that will tell me what softball position I should play (because even though I don't PLAY softball, I may need that information one day)...and the other quiz about what Hogwarts house I should be in...and...umm...

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  3. You're right. There is absolutely no need for you to be on Facebooger. It's not even any fun at all. I mostly use it to help sell shit to my friends. Suckahs.

  4. Besides.. there are people that I don't WANT to find me.. If they wanted to find me so badly they would have found me by now on myspace

    I'm right there with ya.. I don't twitter either

  5. OK.
    I wouldn't think of it!

  6. Hey--have you thought about joining Facebook?!

  7. tell me about it! I joined twitter becoz I was accused of not being 'with it' and now I find that none of my friends are in it!! Now, I have to rack my brains everyday to think of writing what I am doing other than staring wildly at my computer screen!! I guess I have to start pub hopping and frequenting nightclubs now in order to at least sound exciting!! Or I could just lie and say I am an 18 year old playboy model!!

  8. wouldn't dream of it either..LOL however farming on facebook is totally fun!

  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  10. I did join Facebooger to help promote my online boutique, but other than having the blog postings I do here automatically uploaded there,I rarely engage.

    For God's sake; I got an email last week telling me so and so wanted to become one of my 'friends'... this is an old girlfriend of my son's whom I NEVER MET!
    I declined.

  11. Hey, is this Jenee person for real or one of you comedic friends, 'cause that's a really out there word.

  12. Gaston, Jenee asked me to join her facebooger page months ago. I said NO. I wasn't talking about anyone in particular when I made this post. Believe it or not Jenee, you're not the only person on the planet who has asked me to join facebooger but you are the only one who had to resort to name calling.

    I deleted her comment because she's rude and inappropriate.

  13. Agreed.

    FaceBook BLOWS.

    So does Twitter. I joined there and . . . I don't get it. Why is it so important to know what other people, like Ashton Kutcher, are doing?


  14. Anonymous skanks can't leave messages on your wall on Facebook. That's what's good about it. You must be thinking of MySpace.

    The reason to join Facebook is so you can get addicted to Scramble (an online form of Boggle).

  15. Suzy that was very rude of her to say that to you ON YOUR OWN BLOG! I won't mention her name...just sorry she treated you so rudely!

  16. I stopped having fun with my facebook when both my mother, and my 80+ year old GRANDMOTHER joined facebook. I don't really care what my cousins in Europe, that I never talk to, are up to.

    As for twitter? I'm in college and I still don't get that shit!

    Good for you for not giving in. :)

  17. You gotta be kidding me. I didn't think for a second you would take that seriously. Since I can't bring myself to end my own comments with "LOL!" or "J/K!" I guess I'll keep them to myself.

  18. I joined and was active for a few weeks. Until I realized the majority of activity was grown adults sending each other flair and requests to go kill gangsters in some game. And something about farm animals. Not making that up.

  19. I broke up with facebook when I started the blog.

    You didn't miss a thing--all the flair and a really small penis.

  20. I broke up with facebook when I started the blog.

    You didn't miss a thing--all the flair and a really small penis.

  21. I use Facebook to continue long standing sibling rivalry issues. My husband refers to it as my old boyfriend buffet.

    But the most fun of all is being friended by my college-aged daughters friends. It's totally brought us closer together when I can say to her "Hey, did you see that Jordan and Jake are fighting again?"

    Still, it's not all that.

  22. that does it, I am friending you tonight.

    you better accept.

  23. I spend about 5 minutes each month on Facebook - mostly to delete all of the ridiculous requests. Also, a lot of people send me drinks on Facebook, so I log on just to see how drunk I am, then I log right back off again because I find the whole thing annoying.

  24. I joined Twitter to promote my blog. My blog feeds into Twitter. I occasionally tweet, when I see a blogger pally is on.

    I joined Facebooger to reconnect with people I know in real life, people from high school, from my old neighborhood and relatives from out of state that I only see now at funerals.

    Facebooger is for the peeps I know in real life, not for blogger pallies or the skank quazi-celebrity lesbian douchebag who keeps trying to friend me on Facebooger. I have nothing against my blogger pallies, in fact I have met a few, but they don't use Facebooger.

  25. I bet everybody you know has asked you, right? Including me.

    Okay, I'll stop. What about MySpace? Just kidding since I here you can get a Venereal disease just from thinking about it. Oops!

    I had to look up how to spell Venereal. It still doesn't look right.

  26. Jenee, we're not in a comedy club. You offended a lot of people with that word and made me look bad. I'm sorry you don't want to look uncool by using lol but using the C word made you look really uncool.

  27. Very well put, Ms Suzy! That facebooger is just that a booger.
    I have to censor mine. . . because so many people do not understand that their foolish comments and tasteless pictures float in cyberworld for the world to see.
    And if my high school classmates haven't responded to my snail mail or email, why would I bother to keep on trying to get them on facebook!

  28. I haven't done the facebooger thing yet either although everyone acts as if I have a booger because I don't. I am waiting until Miss Priss (my 3 year old grandbaby) and Nikki (my 8 year old granddog) join facebooger. Then I will join because I will have someone intelligent to fb with, since your not going to be on there.

  29. I get 'friend' requests from old school"chums" who used to beat me up at lunchtime. I take great satisfaction in rejecting their pathetic requests.

  30. Anonymous5:57 AM

    Oh how I regret facebooger. Those initial days of adding random crap about my life and sending it off into cyberspace to the girl who sat behind me in class. The obligatory 'me' photo album that I just wasn't able to take off in time. Two years after first joining I feel I am now wise ... Now I have just started a blog and realise I am ten years behind on that too ... Just once I want to be ahead of the game ;0)

  31. Hi Suzy, dropping back by to say something to Jenee

    Jenee, just like the queen of comedy said. (we all try to upstage her...ssssh....but we don't succeed..because one she is damn funny, two we are only followers of her wit)

    But to choose that word over so many cazillion others...just went too low. Woman don't use that word regardless, there is NO humor in that word it is a gross word and very demeaning.

    We would love it if you use LOL, rotflmfao, or WTF... anything but that...

    All you did was mount up Suzy's army of protectors. Sorry the joke didn't play like you wanted too...but that word is never funny just crude and rude lose that word and it would have all been okay.

    Who am I...not anybody important just a Woman who refuses to let another Woman be called that ... at least in my presence..blogland or real life. Sorry I had to point my finger at you missy..but it was uncalled for...

  32. i don't do [t]witless for similar reasons...

  33. Surely none of your college friends are still alive?! You're a freak, Pooz! An old freak!!!!

    Ah, I'm still so funny. Soo soooo funny.

    I heart twitter.

    Boss O xxoo

  34. I like Facebook because you can collect eggs and send sea life to your friends. It really is good times.

  35. tinkalicious8:07 AM

    When people ask me "are you on Facebook?" it feels like they are asking: "are you normal?"(what is wrong with you, if you're not!) I don't see much point to it, people find you, some that aren't even looking for you, and some you'd rather not have found you! I am with the conspiracy theory anyway, it's just another way to see what you are really doing!
    Twitter, I still don't get it, (the point of it) but am on it anyway, guess that's the nosey parker in me, I like to know what others are up to, but rarely post any twits,I mean tweets myself!
    thanks for the chat!

  36. Chandler8:29 AM

    Jenee used the C-word, Jenee used the C-word. At least I don't have to wonder what the deletion was about. And I think it is pure genius to delete the see-ya-next-Tuesday while having a conversation about it.

    PS Faceboog sux.

    And I went to the Twitter site to see what it was all about and when it got to the Borg part where it wants access to EVERYBODY you have EVER known, I closed the window. I didn't know it ACTIVATED an account anyway and now I don't know how to kill it and I have people freaking SIGNING up for my shit that I have no idea how to send.

  37. But, are you sure you don't want to get back together with that girl from seventh grade that used to push you down all the time? My goodness, no desire to relive the past.

  38. I did FB before I did my blog. I had to chose and it was really not a choice at all. FB was like opening Pandora's box. The ghosts of my past came flying at me from every possible angle. They weren't necessarily scary ghosts (I'm maybe just a tad boring) but they were pesty and took up a lot of my time!

  39. Anonymous11:41 AM

    What a relief! I am glad I am still working on my cell phone skills and haven't even thought of Face/Book/Blog/Tweet yet. Speaking of cell phones. I had just purchased a new one at the Evil Empire (WalMart) a couple of months ago, and though I rarely drive, on July 1 you need the microphone device while driving. Well, The Evil Empire no longer carries the phone they sold me so very recently, has no compatible microphone accessory, and wanted to sell me another one. One ringy-dingy!

  40. god dammit did I miss a girl fight????

    I'm right behind you Darsden....

  41. Thanks Vodka Mom-yea where you been while I been here defending your wife's honor...LOL

    I can get scappy if I have to but hopefully I won't have to..ya know you gotta watch us lil shorties!

    Be interesting the next letter I get eh! LOL

  42. Vodka Mom-by the way whacha mean right behind about right next to me...quit pushing me in the back...LOL

  43. and saying gether gether..LOL

  44. You know what, Suzy? When I saw Darsden’s response to my comment I laughed and thought, “The great thing about Suzy is she will know I’m joking.” But even though I was joking before now I’m not:

    You’re a cunt.

    You’re a cunt because you call yourself a comic but can’t recognize when someone’s kidding (I was making fun of myself as if all your FB complaints were directed at me).

    You’re a cunt because you’ve known me long enough that there should have AT LEAST been some doubt, which you could have asked me about in an email rather than blasting me on your blog.

    You’re a cunt because whether I was serious or not, you censored my comment. Censorship in any form sucks but especially when it’s a comic doing it.

    You’re a cunt because you’re a hypocrite for suddenly getting all school marm on me even though others have used the word “cunt” on your blog, including yourself. See what Google shows:

    You’re a cunt because you went and made a whole new post in which to blast me (where you made an erroneous claim about me being afraid to say “cunt” in the email. Read it again). You want to resort to personal attacks? Fine, I don’t have many readers anymore because I don’t update my blog very often. Part of the reason is that I’m actually busy living life instead of posting about glory days from 20 years ago as a hanger-on to celebrities.

    You’re a cunt for acting high and mighty for not calling me a cunt on my own blog but here’s what you have written: “you’re mental.” (05/28/08), “ “WHORE.” (08/03/07), “What did George say to you? Maybe, ‘Get out of my way, ho?’” (11/10/06), and “I’m pretty sure Jesus had nothing to do with a record that says “Kill the hos and you my nigga” followed by "God I’m PISSED that they censored her.” (09/12/07). You’ve also made multiple digs on your own blog, including always referring to me as your “arch enemy.” Have I ever gotten pissy about your comments?

    You’re a cunt because even after I said I wasn't serious you continued to blast me, letting something so innocent ruin a friendship and I know you’ve done it many times before because you told me so when I came to visit you while you were home bound in a cast. My grand total of people I’ve called “cunt” in a derogatory manner as well as my grand total of friends I’ve had falling outs with both now stand at one. I bet your total is even higher than your number of Google subscribers.

    I know you’ll probably delete this so that you can twist the facts to suit your needs but feel free to say what you want about me. I’m done with this thread, I’m done with your blog and I’m done with you.

  45. This comment has been removed by the author.

  46. Jenee---OMG you need to go take some medicine girl...maybe some xanex and calm down. We get the point you love that word. And by your score keeping I am guessing there is more to this than just a mere word.

    I did read you blog...goood gooogly mooogly you were extremely rude there wonder nobody is following you...YOUR NOT FUNNY AND YOUR RUDE. Beside I don't like blogs that only toot their own horn...or post their own picture of themself (did ya want to be a model at some point)...your stuck on yourself and nobody else is (stuck on you)...that is most of the problem.

    This is like water on a ducks back to loss to her...esp from what lil I have seen.

    You must be really lonely! I am sorry for that. Bye bye Now

    Suzy Soro RULES :-))

    3:05 PM

  47. Jenee, is it just now that you've figured out that I've been through with you for a very long time? You were initially left off my blog roll on purpose. I finally added you back because I felt sorry for you because I found out you had 8 readers.

    As one of my readers said re you. "Me thinks thou dost..."
    THIS IS NOT USENET and you're really a baby.


  48. Like blogging doesn't suck up enough of my life!

  49. Holy CRAP! I'm gone for one day and all hell broke loose! It probably doesn't matter now, but soooo sorry I asked you to join Facebooger! I love ya hon!
    I only use it to link my blog, and of course, as Darsden knows, to Farm.

  50. Oh I was definately cracking up at 'your worst nightmare'! That was brilliant!

  51. Dammit- i can't get to her blog through my company network, it must be THAT bad? I'll have to check it out later dammit.

  52. Oh, too funny - and true. This has been one of my favorite parts about coming home - catching up on all the blog posts! (Seems I missed a doozy of a fight, though, too. Yikes.)

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