Monday, June 08, 2009

I Really Haven't Changed At All

People always ask me how I can believe in reincarnation when I haven’t made the round trip myself. I don't know; I just do.

This is me when I was 4. I look the same minus the pigtails and plus a nose job.

When I was 3, I started telling my parents that Cincy, Cindy and I were going out to play. That would have been fine by them only I didn’t have any friends named Cincy and Cindy. Cincy? What kind of a name was that? I'd never heard it and to this day have never known anyone named Cincy. My parents grilled me like a shishkabob over those two people. My answer was always “I don’t know; they are just MY FRIENDS you big stupid heads.”

Sidebar: If I really had said that I would be writing you from my grave right now.

Naturally I out grew Cincy and Cindy and as I aged my Dad talked to me about reincarnation. He believed in it and I think I believed in it because I guess he had a good explanation. Like, Believe in it or you’ll never get your own car.

Sidebar: I did believe in it and I never got my own car because my parents were big stupid heads and I'll write from my grave IF I WANT TO.

It wasn’t until years later that I read when children are under the age of four and start talking about people with names you don’t recognize that you should pay close attention, that these were probably people they had known in a previous life. I used to call my sister Dorothy when she was 2 and tell my parents we were moving to California. My Dad's 3rd wife was named Dorothy, her son lived in California and I ended up here THREE separate times in my life before settling here. And my sister Lindy moved here first.

When I was age range 36-43, (that’s how we give our ages in Hollywood) (That is, if you ever want to work again) I received a letter one of our distant uncles on my father's side sent my father and me. He had hired an assassin to work for him and the media was all over his place. I don't tell anyone who it is because this man assassinated a very famous person and homey don't play no witness protection games. In this letter was a diagram of our family tree. I gave it a cursory glance and filed it under Who Cares They're All Dead Now.

A few years later I was working on my first novel 'His Dead Wife" and I foraged the letter out from my files and in the many branches and offshoots of that tree I found the name ‘Cinzie,’ a woman who had died roughly twenty years before I was born. I stared into space thinking about how I had known her on the other side. Whoever she was to me then, she clearly had been very important so I dragged her into this lifetime.

I called my Dad. He totally flipped out. True, I haven't made the round trip but have MILLIONS more stories like this in my life. Research on reincarnation suggests that children under 4 remember names and places and then when they're fully verbal around 5 and "get stuff" it all disappears for them.

For me? Cinzie never disappeared because I found her in a family tree and never forgot the strange name. I still wonder if she's the one who said, "For God's sakes, child, never get married."

End of chat.


  1. That's crazy!
    I believe in reincarnation but don't think I've ever experienced anything like that.
    I plan to read that book you told me about and I've written down a few others on the same theme.

  2. Well, you know me Suzy girl...I believe in reincarnation; it's a no brainer for me...

  3. I believe in reincarnation, too. I had two imaginary friends as a child, and they stuck around until I was like six or something. The teachers at school thought I had a problem discerning reality from fantasy. I remember at the time thinking, Um no, no confusion here. Y'all just don't understand that it's neither reality nor fantasy. I kept my trap shut though.

  4. I believe as well! Been to a psychic many times and I love when she talks about the past life.

  5. I totally believe in reincarnation but don't remember having imaginary friends as a child. I'm totally convinced, however, that in my immediate past life, I was a man in the military.

  6. Very cool post. I believe in reincarnation as well...I didn't have imaginary friends when I was little, but my younger brother did, Robin; we even set a place for Robin at the dinner table. Robin was with us for several years.

  7. My son's two friends are Squiggly Duck Duck and Wiggly Worm Rock Star. For realz, I'm afraid. I'll ask around but I'm not expecting my older family members to remember anyone with similar names. "Oh sure, your Aunt Bernice once was married to a nice young aboriginal, name of Squinty Dock Dock..."

  8. Hmmm. My son's imaginary friend was a dinosaur. Maybe the creation people are right.

  9. I think we all travel in circles...and I do believe that we can know people from other lives, and recognize them in the current go-round. Ever met someone and felt instant kinship? Had an instant rapport? Yeah...

    It's like stalking on a cosmic scale, yo.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who hasn't had enough sleep to make sense...that's her story and she's sticking to it.)

  10. Well Suzy, you know I believe. Recently met a woman via email who had a book written about her being the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe. How's that manuscript coming? You'll have a wide audience for it!

  11. I'm absolutely convinced that I died during a hurricane in a previous life.

    If there is a hurricane anywhere in the Atlantic Ocean I start feeling anxious and need to know where it is at all times.
    And the one time I was under hypnosis, I was immediately on a beach staring up at the clouds.

  12. Okay that is really freaking me out! Here's why. When I was small I had two imaginary friends. The one I remember was P.Bates. Mama always thought he was just the imaginary playmate until he taught me how to change batteries in my Disney Train set at 3 yrs. old. And later, I found a picture of him in an old stack from a box my mother had stored FOR YEARS!!!!! IT WAS HIM!

    I think children have the ability to communicate with others better because they haven't become jaded by life stuff, yet.

  13. I believe this is my 4th no maybe 5th life. I mean I just keep trying to get it right and I just keep coming back.

    My daughter is connected to my grandmother who was connected to a woman named Pinkie. When my daughter was little she would talk to Pinkie and May. I thought she was talking about that cartoon Pinkie and the Brain.

  14. I, too, believe in reincarnation, so I'm thinking Cinzie was coming through for you, either because of a past life or more probably (in my mind) as a spirit from the other side. In any case, I think kids are more receptive to that kind of thing, if it's possible. You were really receiving well!

  15. Whaddya mean you never made the round trip? I thought that was a requirement for reincarnation. Nevertheless that whole Cinzie/Cincy thing is spooky!

  16. Suzy, I love this post. Very cool story. I got goosebumps. I'm a believer! But I know for sure that I've never made the roundtrip either. Those pastlife regression hypnotists literally throw their hands up at me and give me my money back. It's happened twice. Hmm... Next life.

  17. First of all- could you be cuter? Secondly- very cool story. Time for you to start writing this stuff down.

  18. fruit, bananas and nuts on that there tree, suzy... kinda sorta like my own :O lol

    was cinzie from cinzinnati?

  19. Why the fuck am I reading this in the dark and by myself?? That gave me chills!

    My niece freaks me out because she still talks to people who aren't there and she's six.

  20. Right there with you Suzy! I have always believed in reincarnation. Ask a child of about 3 years old what they did when they were "big"...they will tell you.

    My little cousin told her Mommy, "When I was big, Daddy was in my belly".

    How cool is that??



  21. What a fascinating story. It made me recall the stories I used to tell myself when I was a child -all those characters. Great post.

  22. This so fascinating. I am completely intrigued by the concept. I believe there is more. I feel that there is more. And that's all I understand. I wish I had your clarity.

  23. Count me in as another believer in reincarnation. And I don't think it's an accident that I moved my family from the Midwest to Georgia, of all places, out of the blue.

    I have moments of where I sense that I've seen something before. It's odd. But the one day that really got me happened when I was driving on our country road with the window down, the radio off for a change and I was overcome with the sensation of riding a horse.

  24. that just gave me the chills.

    i LOVE that shit.

  25. ga! how can I sleep now.

    I'm afraid of Cinzie, since YOU just made me say her name.
    Please tell her I'm not calling her up from the grave, alright? It was you.