This is what I should have called my blog. Or at the very least my Friday posts.
Is anyone else doing the math? Long Time Blogging + No Alcohol = Not Dooce. Shouldn't I be doing something more important with my life, like saving white heterosexual men from extinction?
The hummingbird baby went to Carson and Johnny's house across the street where Carson has 6 hummingbird feeders. (Recovering addict so that's why there are six instead of 1) The baby was feeding and then went on to a tree limb, where, if he stays away from Carson's loaded shotgun, he should be just fine. She also buys bags of preying mantis' cocoons or pods or Volkswagens or whatever the hell they're born into and lets them loose in her back yard every year. Probably so they can clean up the pieces of white heterosexual man meat found all over her place. Before I got a chance to save them. Heartbreaking, really.
The FedEx package was from BlogHer. A Lifetime DVD of Drop Dead Diva, a new show I will review enclosed with a million dollar check so I can get a part on it. If it was Dropped Brain Diva, I would have automatically gotten the lead because I REQUESTED this from BlogHer and then promptly forgot about it. Seriously? I don't even understand the last two paragraphs so let's move on.
I spoke to Ann and we were discussing blog pictures and she said: "I see your bright shiny halo-shrouded head looming from blog widgets." Joke is on her, she doesn't even realize I'm trying to signal my home planet so I can get the fuck out of here.
Can't we all just stop posting (3 times a day) and get along?
End of chat.
Lifetime Television New Lifetime Shows Drop Dead Diva