Friday, June 19, 2009

It's Everyone Can Bite Me Friday!

This is what I should have called my blog. Or at the very least my Friday posts.

Is anyone else doing the math? Long Time Blogging + No Alcohol = Not Dooce. Shouldn't I be doing something more important with my life, like saving white heterosexual men from extinction?

The hummingbird baby went to Carson and Johnny's house across the street where Carson has 6 hummingbird feeders. (Recovering addict so that's why there are six instead of 1) The baby was feeding and then went on to a tree limb, where, if he stays away from Carson's loaded shotgun, he should be just fine. She also buys bags of preying mantis' cocoons or pods or Volkswagens or whatever the hell they're born into and lets them loose in her back yard every year. Probably so they can clean up the pieces of white heterosexual man meat found all over her place. Before I got a chance to save them. Heartbreaking, really.

The FedEx package was from BlogHer. A Lifetime DVD of Drop Dead Diva, a new show I will review enclosed with a million dollar check so I can get a part on it. If it was Dropped Brain Diva, I would have automatically gotten the lead because I REQUESTED this from BlogHer and then promptly forgot about it. Seriously? I don't even understand the last two paragraphs so let's move on.

I spoke to Ann and we were discussing blog pictures and she said: "I see your bright shiny halo-shrouded head looming from blog widgets." Joke is on her, she doesn't even realize I'm trying to signal my home planet so I can get the fuck out of here.

Can't we all just stop posting (3 times a day) and get along?

End of chat.

28 comments:

  1. I love to read your posts! You are all over your game today aren't you? Welcome you go have a good Friday and hopefully, no one will bite you in a way that you have to take shots for. . . Have a great one!

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  2. Forget Fridays when I arrive in September: you and me are doing the Beverly Wilshire and the Chateau Marmont which is kinda tweeeee but anyway we'll have fun so forget all this and run away with me. At least for a day and a night. Tell me it's a date....

    Damn, I deleted your ph number. Can I blame post-operative trauma? Well, I'm going to...

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  3. You are too funny! Have a wonderful weekend!

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  4. LOL..

    great to hear about the baby hummingbird cool beans..

    braja-hilarious about the phone number

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  5. i still think you need a drink.

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  6. and wait a minute, is Braja trying to break us up?


    she wouldn't..............

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  7. I think Ann is jealous because your pic is 24K plated.
    (phone home....)

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  8. Put some bright red or pink flowers out in a pot by your feeder. They will screw over the yucky feeders for the flowers.

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  9. LMAO about signaling your home planet!!! Great about the baby bird; you're a good woman Suzy. Have a good weekend.

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  10. I am so jealous...we have seen one hummingbird in the 2 years since we built this house. I have tried feeders, I have red and yellow AND orange flowers everywhere.

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  11. PB phone home...get me the hell outta here!!!

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  12. My children are trying to kill each other as I sit and read about hummingbirds and manmeat.

    I think of your photo as suzybling on my sidebar.

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  13. I've been trying to signal the home planet for months. If you hear from them, can you let me know? Maybe I can hitch a ride back with you.

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  14. i haven't filled my hummingbird feeders in about a month, i'm waiting for a tiny, tiny bag of flaming poo to be left on my doorstep

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  15. Careful about calling the home planet you might call up an errant meteor instead.

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  16. Sorry, I watched the previews for DDD and you could not get the lead; you're too thin and pretty.

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  17. Anonymous11:26 AM

    S,
    As you know, the Blow Hole is east of Waikiki. A few years back a teenaged male sat on the place where the water spews out. He was hurled onto the rocks and into the ocean and died. Did his mother who raised him sue the State of Hawaii for having such a dangerous item? (And, yes, there were signs saying, "don't go onto the spout area. It's dangerous.") No, she did not sue. But the father, who according to the media left the son years before and hadn't even provided child support to the family sued.
    Aloha,
    MJ

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  18. hhaha You said blow hole.

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  19. Only every once in a while I see a humming bird at my house. I have yet to see a baby one.


    I think "Blow Hole is a great name for a blog. It fits you perfectly ;)

    I agree with Deb... you need a drink.

    I agree.. more than I post a day is insane. I am tempted sometimes, but I will write it and schedule for the next day.

    You and Braga need to make your way East and gather us all up an meet in Orlando. What a blast that would be.

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  20. The blow hole. That's just funny. Anything with the word "hole" is always funny.

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  21. My Gawd. You are fucking funny.

    End of Comment.

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  22. Is this the blow hole convention? Where should I sit?

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  23. I love you all and you're all so kind albeit drunk.

    VM you will sit where you always sit, at my feet looking up adoringly. Yes Braja, it's ON!

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  24. You should have SO gotten the lead in this series.

    They must have been blind and stupid....

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  25. If you're having a drink, so am I.

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  26. seems VM going convention Hopping.. she was at my crazy person convention a few days ago sharing her vodka with you and blognut

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  27. I have found anyone with more than three bird feeders is NOT dating material........

    Just my observation!

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