In the last 2 weeks, I've noticed an uptick in people's behavior with their pets that unfortunately involves me.
-Telling your dog to poop is not going to make your dog poop. Especially while I'm standing there talking to you about where to go for dinner.
-No I don't want to hear your cat purr into the phone. I have an appointment to stick a javelin in my eye and need to go find an empty jar to put the blood in so I have to go.
-Describing how your dog looked at you and said "Come on Pop I want to walk over there so I said okay Sandy we'll walk over there and then she does her business and looks at me and says Pop I'm ready to go now."
-Telling your pet to EAT RIGHT NOW is the same as your mother telling you to fix your hair.
SEX WILL CURE THESE BAD HABITS.