In the last 2 weeks, I've noticed an uptick in people's behavior with their pets that unfortunately involves me.
-Telling your dog to poop is not going to make your dog poop. Especially while I'm standing there talking to you about where to go for dinner.
-No I don't want to hear your cat purr into the phone. I have an appointment to stick a javelin in my eye and need to go find an empty jar to put the blood in so I have to go.
-Describing how your dog looked at you and said "Come on Pop I want to walk over there so I said okay Sandy we'll walk over there and then she does her business and looks at me and says Pop I'm ready to go now."
-Telling your pet to EAT RIGHT NOW is the same as your mother telling you to fix your hair.
SEX WILL CURE THESE BAD HABITS.
Have some.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
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23 comments:
Sex?
I think I'd just stick to walking them, if that's okay?
LMAO at Jules!!
I didn't really notice how much I do these things with my dog. Thanks for the awareness!
Is that a vegetarian javelin?
I don't even do these things with my kids (except for humor potential on my blog). In real life? Never.
Sex?! What's that??
Wait. Sex for the animals or sex for the owners. And I know you didn't mean sex WITH the... I'm not even gonna go there.
My daughter says I have whole conversation with my puppy, Lexi; she's probably right because I know Lexi will agree with anything I say.
OMG guilty here I tell my dog to poop! Damn such a loser!
I would never tell my dogs to poop. They manage to figure that out on their own, and I'm actually good with that.
sSex, dog & baby seals in one post....I hear PETA knocking
Whose a good Suzywoozy? Whose a good girl? Suzywoozy wanna go for a walkee? Come on girl, come on! Let's go! Suzy wanna go for a walk? Good girl...
Yeah I talk to my friends like I talk to my dogs. I wonder why I don't have any friends?
Telling your dog to stop pooping doesn't work either.
My dogs talk to me all the time! They tell me what neighbors I should off because they've throwing stuff over their to my yard. I obediently go and grab a bat...
OMGosh! I am guilty as charged. Daisy and I talk, sing and she is so brilliant! hmmmm maybe I should take your advice!
Maybe you stick the javelin in their eye. You know . . . appropriate punishment for that sort of behavior and all.
I don't have animals but if I did I would make another word for poop...like Explode...then tell it to Explode and bam - Poop. That would be better then cutely saying "come on fluffy - poop". Anyway - love the blog!
S,
Didn't you once take your dog on a jet to Europe or somewhere? I'm just as bad. I was going to move to Hawaii via a cruise ship until they told me the cat couldn't be in the cabin w/me. I flew, 1st class, and poor kitty was in cargo.
Aloha,
MJ
But my hubby is not here in this country! So what you're saying is that is okay?? Well then. I will direct him to you if he has any questions.
So what I hear you saying is that marriage vows are NOT valid in a foreign country. Seriously, that's what I thought too.
Speaking of sex, I'm not sure I'm ready for the javelin in my eye.
;)
The conversations I have with my dog are some of the best I have.
BTW love your new haircut
solo sex work, too? :O lol
Okay, words I missed in my comment because I was high.
*been*
*fence*
I tell my dogs to get off their asses and go do the laundry but they never listen - and that proves a point... I do need sex! Thanks for the reminder that everyone in the world is getting it but me. :) lol
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