Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Shrunken Head

Sometimes I think my head is growing. A hat won't fit right, my sleep mask is suddenly too tight, my brain expands with new neuroses and I notice the curtain hems aren't even.

So today was my 3 week check-in with Dr. C., the woman who let me cry for one solid hour when I first came to see her. I never see male shrinks, ever. I always wonder if they listen as poorly as they do when they're just in a regular job. Or at home watching the game or reading the newspaper. I'd take a gay male shrink though.

Lexapro has taken away all my anxiety and I plan to stay on it unless I move to Tahiti, where there are no hats or uneven curtain hems.

I am so shell-shocked from the stock market that I haven't much more to say except whoever wins this election is not going to have an easy time of it. They are seriously in a lose-lose (war can't be ended in under 2 years/economy is officially in a recession) situation, at least according to my stockbroker who is in a company that didn't go under. Yet.

He urged me to vote with my pocketbook, which is what I'm doing. I don't use the word 'pocketbook'; I say purse. People in their 100's say 'pocketbook' and bookies say 'purse' so I'll vote with my wallet. It's possible the reason my head is growing because my brain is getting bigger, like a man's. (women do have smaller brains). Man, would I put my bigger brain to good use. Free shoes for women, tracking devices for married men and a universal ban on fanny packs and boxer shorts. And that's just the FIRST DAY.

For a laugh go to Uproarious to see some of the ridiculous comedy books from my collection.

End of chat.


  1. Anonymous4:48 PM

    what about speedos and those MC Hammer pants? glad you're feeling better. I'm here trying to heal...

  2. I love Lexapro, except uneven curtain hems or other uneven things, like crumbs, drive me insane.
    Hus hasn't looked at his retirement account for a while. Mine is virtually non-existant so I don't need to worry.

  3. The economy officially has me in tears - I can probably pay the bills, and maybe get enough groceries into the house to last until the next paycheck providing I am not all that attached to fresh fruit in our diet and I don't mind eating the same meal several days running (leftover seem to be a bad word to everyone in this house by me, so I get them for lunch), but I won't have the money to buy a single goddamn pumpkin for Halloween. Not a one. So much for our tradition of lining the driveway.

    I am sick to death of this. Truly.


    I hate feeling trapped. I hate feeling as though I must choose between finding a job (I can work at McDonaleds, I'm not proud) or my family.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who would run for president herself if she didn't fear being listened to and watched ever dang minute...oh, wait...I already THINK I am, so what's the difference??)

  4. Aww, crud. Mizz Suzy, I'm sorry I dumped all over your blog.

    It's a bad night at Casa de Crazy.

    Meanwhile, I AM glad that your meds are helping. Any way you can slip them in the drinking water for the rest of the nation??

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  5. 401k's in the toilet, I refuse to look at my portfolio (fear) and I hear a lot of people feel the same way and are just waiting for the storm to pass. People panicked in 1987 but my dad said to ride it out, my stockbroker agrees and i am. We should be buying, not selling. ACH!

  6. Glad the Lexapro is working. I have several friends for whom anti-depressants have literally saved their lives.

    Who is your purse for?

  7. I have exactly one small ball of lint in my pocket - so what stock do I buy with that?? :-)

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (hey, I just found 53 cents under the chair cushion!! Woo-hoo!! Now I can buy TWO shares of...umm...whatever stock's in the toilet...)

  8. To take this in a completely different direction, you made me thing of John Waters Female Trouble.

    "I gotta knife in my pockybook."

  9. Anonymous11:34 AM

    In Boston it is a "pocka-book" since apparently the "et" omission has something to do with the accent (as in Cube-er [Cuba] or vod-ker [vodka].
    As to the economy, I have accepted the fact that I might possibly be poor and aging rapidly.
    Love and aloha,
    Martha Jane

  10. You're still young enough not to be panicking over the 401K! I think. At least, I'm not.

    I call it "purse." Does that make me a bookie?

  11. If you could rid the world of fanny packs you would be my hero. I would build a shrine to you in my house and make up offerings on a weekly basis.

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