Thursday, August 21, 2008

Dead Guy Standing

Yes, that is a dead guy standing in the left corner. He always told his mother that when he died he wanted to be at his own wake, standing up and smiling. He was recently found under a bridge at the age of 24, dead. So his really strange mother carried out his wishes.

This did not creep me out. Instead I was FIXATED on the picture hanging between him and his mother. WHO HANGS A PICTURE AT THE VERY EDGE OF A WALL? Seriously, I was so annoyed by that you have no idea. Probably because of my other job.

If a relative of yours wanted this send-off, would you do it?

End of chat. Heh.


  1. That guy looks like I feel!

  2. Oh gross. I mean the picture at the edge of the wall.

  3. Well, he' vertical but it doesn't look like he's smiling. Probably because he has to stand under that very badly hung picture.

    No, I wouldn't do it. I'd just bury him and then lie to him. Hell, I lie to my kids all the time now, why would I stop?

  4. Uhhh...ewww. This is wrong on so many levels. What happens if someone accidentally knocks Stiffy over???

    Reminds me of the country song, "Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox If I Die".

    And no, I would not honor this request if given to me. Instead, I arrange for a psychiatric evaluation.

  5. Anonymous12:55 PM

    My request at any kind of memorial or service after my death is that everyone attending be offered at least one cocktail on the way in. Went to a memorial last October where a newly ordained minister spoke for an hour. Mercifully, it rained and shut him up. I believe alcohol (though not a daily requirement) is very necessary if religion is involved.

  6. GROSS! How do they get him to stand up, you think? GROSS! And the picture on the wall? GROSS!

  7. Dont encourage them...mine has left such a complex series of requests that I think I might have to die first...

  8. Anonymous1:42 PM

    I don't think he's smiling.

    I was totally creeped out until I read your comment about the photo and then I just laughed my butt off. This is why I love you.

  9. Anonymous1:48 PM

    that's just fucked up- who hangs a picture like that is right!!! That's the first thing I looked at 'cause of course I hadn't read it and it's just fucking creepy. What happened to his grill?

  10. Anonymous1:49 PM

    He's a FUCKING PUERTO RICAN!! I"M SO EMBARASSED FOR MY OWN KIND!! THESE people are giving me a bad fucking rep!!

  11. Perhaps they put the picture in that spot after the body was placed, so everyone could see it.
    I would like to know if that is a photo of the deceased on his mothers t-shirt. He doesn't appear to have been an angel when alive.
    And who wears a t-shirt to a wake?
    I don't know what I would do if someone asked me to do that for them.

  12. Pooz, I've told you and I've told you. I PROMISE I will make sure you are stuffed and mounted, placed in the Julie Newmar BatGirl pose (on all fours, growling) under only perfectly hung art.

    Sheesh! Take me at my word, for once!

    Prinn xxxx


    Um, the family who would go all "Weekend at Bernie's" with their own son?

    I wonder if they took him for a ride around the block afterward? Or took him to a bar and put a drink in his hand? I mean, if you're going to do all that, you might as well!

    I saw this pic this week on Dlisted and I immediately wanted them to adopt me. But only if Bernie Jr. hangs around.

  14. No, I would NOT do that...what are they going to do, come back and HAUNT me? Ha!

    That can't be sanitary...and look at him, just standing there - the least he could do is hold a lamp or serve as a coat rack or something.

    The picture was hung in the center of that space, but it was all ooked out by the dead guy and now, it has quietly inched its way right out of that room and upstairs to the hall closet, where it's trying very hard to forget the whole disturbing experience.

    Meanwhile, I have left instructions that I wish to be lightly toasted and served with broccoli and a side of mashed potatoes (gravy optional). Or, you know, just get rid of my carcass because I'll be DEAD and won't CARE.

    People are so weird about death.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (the occasionally pragmatic)

  15. Anonymous5:07 PM

    OMG!!!! rest in peace....but omg. i have done enough standing in my life time but god....u walk in ur living room and then....BOOM! a dead guy is there....i would of went mentally insane if i was his mother