I don't believe I'll ever run out of things to bitch about. And yet when I'm in a relationship I'm not a nag. How is that possible?
On Wednesday, the day I went to Santa Monica, Mom and I ate lunch at Babalu's, a small restaurant on Montana. I was staring out the window and saw Sean Penn and a gorgeous girl on the other side of the street. They were coming straight at us.
He's an Oscar winner, his wife JUST filed, for the third time, divorce papers and no paparazzi? As they walked, the girl stopped on the sidewalk right beside us. She was tall and thin, beautifully dressed, 25 years old, tops. She stopped and turned so that I could see her and she could see me which meant that Sean's back was to me. I kept staring and wondering why she made him stop there. And then it dawned on me she probably wanted someone to take her picture because how else was she going to become a big star? I would have taken one. Maybe even sent it to Perez or TMZ. But Sean is the American Russell Crowe. What if he stormed into the restaurant, smashed my camera, swung and missed and killed my mother?
How do I live without my camera?
Martha Jane has worked with him so I expect her to leave a comment and fill us in on whether he would have hurt me.
Lindy got a pair of Dodger tickets from a client but she can't go so I'm going with my mother, who doesn't understand how the game is played. I switched to a sports channel and started to explain it.
"The team plays until they get 3 outs."
"What duz zat mean?"
"Everrrry time that happens you give me money."
"Why do zey say zat ball is foul?"
"Because it smells and that's why he hit it over the line."
"Why did he say zerrre retirrrring ze side? Zey can quit working anytime zey want?"
We have seats behind home plate. I will not be trying to catch any balls as I have two of my own.
Management of our building has stepped in and threatened legal action against the 4 asshole women who let their dogs bark, two of whom have lived here less than 2 months. Apparently they think they're in the right and the rest of the tenants are wrong. Because we're so unreasonable as to require peace and quiet. They've stopped talking to us. Very mature. Meanwhile it's been so quiet I thought I'd gone deaf.
My blog is now on Kindle. Go review me. AND I only cost 99 cents a month. That sounds about right.
End of chat.