Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Going Down To Santa Monica For More Of This

Look at my mother's face. She had just completed a 24 hour meltdown at Lindy's. Underneath her sunglasses my sister is rolling her eyes at me. Plus she's wearing that size 2 slash 6 dress that is 26 years old and fit her like a glove.

My mother refused to eat or talk, preferring instead to stare balefully at the camera while keeping a death grip on Yoshi's leash. He is underneath the table saying 10 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Father's.
My sister has her Madonna arms out on display. She does that to torture me. It always works, especially when the fat on my upper underarm swings back and forth and hits her in the face.

They got back to Santa Monica and my mother went straight into the kitchen, saying she was starved. They both went to bed with their sunglasses on.

End of chat.

32 comments:

  1. This is how the words "ennui" and general "malaise" came to be part of the English vernacular. Hilarious.

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  2. Too much family time for Mum? I have a sister like yours...she makes me want to eat alot!!

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  3. Anonymous11:32 AM

    S,
    They are upset because you are the prettiest. That's why they went to bed w/sunglasses.
    Aloha,
    MJ

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  4. -->Madonna or Sarah Jessica Parker arms for sure. I still have tickets to the gun show....

    http://www.WebSavyMom.com

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  5. Hilarious. I don't suppose your sister has any spare recreational prescriptions after these last three months?

    And I agree with MJ. They're jealous because you're the prettiest. AND the funniest.

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  6. Personally, Madonna's arms are a little freakish. Definately nothing to be jealous of.

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  7. Oh your Mom looks miserable would that make her Les Miserable?

    Your poor sister is she fed up to her eyeballs with Les Miz?

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  8. Yeah, but whose side is the dog on?

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  9. Time to move to India permanently, Suzy.....

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  10. I'm with Braja on that - Get the hell away from those two!

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  11. They look as thrilled to be there as you are...

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  12. hehehe! Families always make us appreciate our friends better!! Good to be back at your blog, Suzy!

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  13. OMGosh, now there is a happy twosome..er...glad you didn't inherit there gift for er..laughter

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  14. My mom is always on a diet when I go out to lunch with her!! Then, she goes home and eats a whole bag of cheesecorn with a mixed drink or two. Nice diet!!

    They could have at least had a glass of water with you.

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  15. I wish my mother would stop talking! E came home with her lists of complaints about grandma and one of them was that she never stops talking.
    Liking the sweater on mom. Probably 90 degree's out there.

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  16. With their sunglasses on?

    Dang, girl...

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  17. It looks like you're lucky to have made it out of there alive.

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  18. Oh my woman, posts about your family crack me up!!! I'm sure it'll all be back to normal ... eventually though. *smiles*

    blessings on ye!

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  19. oh shut up and pass the xanax.

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  20. Suzy, I'm an expert in these matters, and they seem to be trying to communicate something telepathically. Your mom is passing the buck to your sister, and I'm not sure, but it looks like the message is right on the tip of your sister's tongue. Could it be? "I coulda had a V8."

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  21. i'm starting to get teacher arms...you know what those are right?

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  22. Eh, come to the boondocks of NC and hang with me. My stomach can trump your floppy arms. In spades. You'll feel like a super model after hangin' with me.

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  23. hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

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  24. Well that picture is certain worth a thousand words and then some. Isn't it?

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  25. Looks like Braja is offering a wise bit of advice here!

    Take it to heart!

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  26. I know this is totally off topic, but I'm loving your mom's bag...

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  27. Do the plastic surgeons in LA attach sunglasses too?

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  28. HA HA- I just finally got time to catch up reading your work- Oh how i've missed your sadistic humor- I hated my mom for not buying me a Lassie too!!! I was sick when i found out it was a male dog, since then i've had nothing but male pets, and i nueter them all! :0 (eveil grin) I'm BAaaaack!

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  29. I am on Hit 40's mom's diet.

    Oh. And I want your sister's arms, too. And that dress, darn it. When they leaving, already?!

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  30. I like the image of your upper-armage flapping around and smacking your sis--although she does deserve an award of some sort for hosting your mother. Wait. No she doesn't. Those arms are award enough!

    Maybe your mom just wants you to blog about her and her behavior is part of an elaborate (albeit miserable) scheme!

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  31. LOL!!!! Madonna arms... LOL

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  32. How does your sister feel about you being the representative of sexiness and Hollywood success in the family? She possibly has to have Madonna arms to make her feel like she's at least your equal. Be gentle with her...the poor girl, having someone as hot and cool as you as a sister...

    xoxoxo

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