It's Everyone Can Bite Me Friday!

"Good grief, you don't have a head shelf."
"What the hell is that?" I asked.
"It's those two protrusions at the base of your skull, one on each side."

That was the conversation I had the day I asked McLoserstene why all my elastic wraparound headbands wouldn't stay on my head. They kept sliding up in the back and I was constantly having to rip them off my head while swearing violently adjust them. She asked me to feel the base of her head. I felt hers and then I felt my own and promptly gave her all of my headbands. Life is so cruel.

There's a feral cat in heat loose in our neighborhood. The last time this happened was many years ago and the cat was quickly caught up by coyotes, mainly due to the incessant noise it was making. Is there a 1-800-Coyote number I can call?

Sidebar: Put down your keyboards and admit you've had similar thoughts.

There's a cricket in my apartment, which is not unusual as we get them every year. But in some cultures, having a cricket in the house brings good luck so I'm always reluctant to kill them. I saw it twice, swatted it and missed it twice so now it's just waiting until I'm sound asleep so it can jump on my face and suck the life force out of me. Oh wait, too late for that.

A few months ago I was at Mayfair, the supermarket down the street. That's the one where Patrick Dempsey ran away from me. I was in line behind a guy who worked at a studio. The checker, Bobby, asked Studio Guy what was going on and Studio Guy mentioned that they had cast the Get Smart movie with Anne Hathaway in the female lead. The entire line broke out into a heated discussion on why this was a bad idea. We all did agree that Steve Carell in the male lead was perfect casting. Everyone in LA has an opinion about casting. I only wish the studios would focus group food shoppers.

The 270 million lottery was won by a man from Georgia. He chose the lump sum of 160 million and after taxes got 100 million. Out of 270 million. Now I'm not going to turn down 100 million dollars anytime soon and I understand the government taking their ungodly cut of 60 million but as I recall, when Lotto started, the money was supposed to go to education and other things we no longer care about. So seriously, are there little mini Harvards and Yales that I know nothing about?

My Panasonic Lumix camera just broke out with Black Dot Disease. It's a year since I bought it and now it has a black dot on the lens although I'm not really sure where the dot is coming from. It's a classic case of Built-In Obsolescence. Objects are built to disintegrate based on the materials used so that industries can make more money off of us because we have to buy the product again. A touch-tone phone will last for a million years because all the parts are made of metal. My VTech phone is made out of spittle and a corn cob and weighs as much as a bag of Sour Cream and Onion potato chips. Yet oddly doesn't taste as good.

And finally, Valerie Bertinelli is making the rounds with her tell-all on life married to rocker Eddie Van Halen. Some of the shows she's appeared on have played the theme song from One Day at a Time, the sitcom she starred in back in the 80's. I was never a fan of the show and only caught glimpses of it now and again but I can't get that theme song out of my head. It's really quite catchy and tuneful and feel free to put a bullet through my brain as soon as possible.

End of chat.

Panasonic Panasonic Lumix Camera Lumix DMC-FX3