All My Troubles Seemed So Far Away

I voted yesterday but nearly missed out since I didn't see my language listed.

And just so we're clear, can a wheelchair go up steps now? Did I miss that tutorial?

I walked down to the Fedex on Sunset Boulevard and Argyle after I voted and came across this guy up in one of those tall palm trees, the kind with a long, skinny trunk, the kind you wonder how it survives in the desert that is L.A. Trees have a tap root. Since there is water under the earth, trees send a root, probably the most unpopular one, down as far as necessary to find this water. This guy was cutting off the top of this tree.
Or trying to commit suicide creatively.
Then I came across this billboard for final performances of The Ultimate Jew. If you've never seen Jackie Mason live and he comes to your town, go see him. I've seen him on Broadway twice and I laughed my ASS off. He's hilarious.

Jackie asked me out back in the early 80's. He met me at Dangerfields's in New York when I had stopped by to see a friend perform. The next day I got a call from his manager, who had tracked me down, saying Jackie wanted to take me to lunch. I don't remember where we ate but I do remember that he had on more pancake makeup than I'd ever seen on anyone, living or dead. I found out later he was partial to blondes. He gave me lots of advice which I don't remember and probably didn't take. To quote George Bernard Shaw, "Youth is wasted on the young."

Years later I was doing a gig in the Catskills and I had a rough time. When I left the stage, I was surprised to see Jackie, who was just hanging out. As I walked by him he whispered "They hate everyone, kid."

It was a great thing to say to another comic. A lot of comics will just shrug as if to say that you sucked and what did you expect, a standing O? Jackie knew I wasn't seasoned enough to play the Catskills and made me feel like less of a loser.

Then I passed by this mess. I was holding out for a Target but unfortunately it's more condos. We are now wall-to-wall condos in the Hollywood area as it has become the hottest place to live in L.A. It's very New Yorky. Lots of great shopping, movies, theaters, restaurants and did I mention CONDOS? You can see the famous round Capitol building down on the lower right, peeking out amongst the cranes.

And to wrap up...I cancelled my surgery.

I was on my way to Fedex to send my MRI to my doctor in India. It cost $80. It would have been cheaper to send it to the Sun. Stay tuned.

End of chat.