How Cool Are These Shoes?

How badly do you want to paint the soles of these shoes and pace back and forth in front of The White House?

Picture courtesy of Advanced Style.

Cirque Du Shoeleil # 5

Shocking, another pair of Steve Maddens in lime green patent leather with a zipper across the top. I guess in case you need more air when you're walking in slingbacks.

These are a pair of Italian Belos, which are made out of lambskin and are buttery soft to the touch.

And to Tommy James, who thinks I've alienated my all male readers with my shoes, then Tommy my friend, you know nothing about blogs. If I had a list of all the retarded Favs that people post on their blogs, the list would wrap around the Universe 50 zillion times. Toys, games, hand-knit socks, flowers, puppets, kid's toys, kid's pictures, animals in Christmas costumes (!), spoon collections, sex paraphernalia, homemade birthday cakes, trees in bloom, long country roads, cakes that went awry, build-a-bears and last but not least memes, then you would do what you do at your house, change the channel. And while we're at it, for God's sakes, update your site once a year. So I can make fun of it more.

End of Shoes Du Soleil.

Steve Madden Shoes Steve Madden

Cirque Du Shoeleil # 4

These are yet another pair of Steve Maddens, in black and white tweed. The last time I wore them was at the Because We're Not Dead Yet Party last April. I was in so much pain by the end of the evening that I took them off and walked around in my black stockings, which tore and ran and basically made me look like a homeless woman. That was the last time I ever wore heels. Sob.
I liked these boots because I knew no one would wear them but me, which is how I buy most of accessories. I remember the last time I wore them I was in line waiting to vote for some initiatives or something, maybe to legalize prostitution?

End of chat.

Steve Madden Shoes Steve Madden

Cirque Du Shoeleil # 3

These Ann Kleins are some of my favs. I used to wear them with some Armani Exchange pants that buttoned up the back leg, a Juicy Couture scarf, and a mid-leg camel coat. I was wearing all of that plus an angora hat when I picked up my mother at LAX one time. As I bent to kiss her she jumped back."Mom?"
"Oh my God, it's you? I thought you were a model!"

First off, what models does she know? And second off, that was the best compliment I ever got from her in my entire life and it wasn't even really intended for me. Because, you know, she didn't think it was me. Because of her raging narcissism she never mentioned that outfit again but did repeat year after year how fabulously dressed the Air France flight attendants thought she was.

End of chat.

Cirque Du Shoeleil # 2

These are my favorite jean boots. They're made out of starched denim and you can see the ridges near the tops where I've worn them so much that they've developed permanent indentations. The design is made out of very tiny silver beads. I bought them over 4 years ago, long before people were wearing wedges and I got a lot of weird looks when I used to wear them. Passive-aggressive compliments like "Wow, those boots are really interrrresting." Believe it or not they're super comfortable. I know they look purplish-bluish in the picture but they're denim blue.

A pair of Steve Madden cheetah ponies with a 2" heel. I love pony fur, I think I have four pair of them. I've lost count of how many Steve Maddens I own.
End of chat.

Steve Madden Shoes Steve Madden

Cirque Du Shoeleil # 1

Men never understand why women need so many pairs of shoes. Shoes are to us what football is to them. Guys can watch three games back to back or four games on two screens and there's no point in trying to explain it to us. Men love football. We love shoes. So if you're unlucky enough to be trapped with a guy who says "You have enough shoes" try responding with "Well, then you've watched enough football." I've shut up two men with that line.

All this week I'm posting pictures of the shoes from my Cirque du Shoeleil™ collection. They're the ones I've missed the most while my ankle has been disintegrating. All of the circus toys pictured belonged to my dad when he was a boy.

This is a pair of Steve Maddens. They're grey suede with black leather. The cut-out on the top near the toe is a heart and it's surrounded by little silver beads, also found all over the black leather part of the shoe.

These are a pair of bebe's which are a little whorish. Not surprisingly, men really love them. Especially if I wear them while they're watching football.

End of chat.

Steve Madden Shoes Steve Madden