Sunday, June 03, 2012

I Sent My Only Child To Live In Vegas Because My Apartment Was Too Crowded

I've showcased a lot of my Teeshirters on this blog and have loved them all because you guys are really creative. I keep saying I'm going to post them all and let people vote on their favorites but I'd have to make one of those Brady Bunch slash Hollywood Squares graphics and put pictures in them and oh my God I'm exhausted just typing it.

Here's another Teeshirter currently riding my sidebar:

When I was moving a year ago, I realized I had too much stuff and had no idea where it all came from because I certainly had nothing to do with it. As I slowly began packing in the months leading up to the move I knew there would have to be casualties. And one of them was this.

I posted a picture of him and my old friend Chandler said it reminded him of the one he had when he was a child. I wrote back and asked if I could send it to him and he said yes.

I had one condition, that he had to take a photo of him wearing my tee shirt and send it to me. THAT WAS A YEAR AGO.

I just received the picture last week.

I've known Chandler since 1999. We were both members of a Usenet message board for standup comics. Blogs are not nearly as entertaining as Usenet was. Bloggers play it safe. Never rocking the boat hard enough to lose an oar. But on Usenet? HOLD ON TO YOUR VAGINAS, PEOPLE.

When Usenet discontinued message boards because blogs were getting so popular, (oy) most of us reluctantly moved on. I went on to screenwriting and so did Chandler. Eventually he moved to Las Vegas and got a Master's Degree in Thanking Sweet Jesus He Left L.A.

Why is the bear wearing a shirt with Teddy Soro on it? Because when I was a kid I'd named him Teddy when I got him for Christmas one year. Apparently my imagination got lost when I checked out of my mother's uterus. You know how you always forget something when you're in a hurry.

Chandler made the shirt for Teddy. And artfully arranged my shirt behind the bear. See? Creative, every last one of you.

Is it just me or does it look like Teddy put on some weight?


  1. You know how you always forget something when you're in a hurry.


  2. Anonymous11:50 AM

    Everyone looks bigger in a white shirt, t-shirts especially. That's why I opt for dark colors and 3/4 sleeves and never wear T-shirts unless I'm painting a wall or cleaning.

    1. It's the darn crew neck - always makes me look even more busty than I already am. Poor Teddy needs a nice V-neck shirt instead.

  3. As for this household, we are proud to be HCTD T shirters.


  4. Chandler In Las Vegas6:20 PM

    Suzy, on USENET I held on to EVERY vagina! Ahh, the advice, the insights, the siting at the virtual bar and laughing at the comic on stage, the back stabbing, knowing which bookers were good and which ones were MoFos. In all my life I've never had better camaraderie. [All you had to do was tell Madigan that women weren't funny...] As for Mr. Soro, he hasn't gained an ounce but he does enjoy the occasional Patron Gold shooter. He looks so sweet and innocent...they all do. Love him:)Thank you, again, Suzy.

  5. Chandler, I miss the good part of ACS too. The camaraderie was incredible.

    As to Mr. Soro, HE WAS A SOBER BEAR! Now he needs a meeting.

  6. pray for all the mofos out there...