Monday, May 23, 2011

Sometimes My Brain Is On Pause

Saturday I was lying on my couch waiting to die, waiting for the Velocirapture to swallow me whole. And watching a movie called The Family Man starring Nicolas Cage and Tea Leoni. I spent most of the movie trying to keep track of Nicolas Cage's hairpieces. He had more styles and colors than a 25 year fast-forwarded clip show of Oprah's hair.

There's a moment in the movie when Cage and Don Cheadle, who plays an angel, are in a car and Cage is confused about what's happening to him. Cheadle tells him he has to figure it out. Cage asks him why he just can't tell him what's going on but Cheadle persists. "Let it come to you. It will come to you."

This is how my life has run its course. The Answer always comes to me. It pops into my head and I instantly "Know" it's the right thing to do.

Sidebar: This offer not valid with boyfriends.

It happened in Paris, it happened in New York. Both times I was miserable but then I heard The Answer and off I went. But as unhappy as I've been living at my present address here in LA, I haven't heard The Answer. That calm inner voice of The Higher Self. The voice telling me what to do, where to go. It once told me the password of someone's email account. It often gives me the result of someone else's problem. I depend on it so much that it writes the majority of my punchlines. It's never been wrong.

Sidebar Again: This offer still not valid with boyfriends. I repeat this for my own benefit.

But lately I've been obsessing about The Answer. Where is it? WHERE IS IT? And then I take a breath or seven and remember that all the other times it came to me, I didn't expect it. It just showed up.

So I'm watching Don Cheadle, one of my top 5 favorite actors ever, tell Nic Cage that the answer WILL COME. It will come, he repeats. And as much as I've been fixated over this very issue, I knew it was a message I was meant to hear as messages appear in many forms. Movies, a chance encounter, a phone call. We've all read The Celestine Prophecy, correct?

Then my phone rang.

I looked at the caller ID.

Area code from St. Petersburg, Florida. The town my father died in. The caller hung up immediately, didn't leave a message. But they didn't need to.

I heard it loud and clear.

I spent Sunday with my sister. I told her the story and at the end of it she burst into tears. "That was Dad helping you out."

Yes, I know. So, thanks Dad.


  1. -->Would this be a bad time to tell you I was in St. Pete over the weekend?

  2. Was this a Freudian slip: "waiting for the Velocirapture to swallow *me hole*?" ;)

  3. First of all, i was in DC this weekend and my daughter had that movie on and honestly, could Nic Cage suck any more than he does? DOUBTFUL.

    I was hoping the rapture would swallow up my in-laws and i'm so bummed it didn't.

    And also, i'm glad you got a sign...i hope things start going your way ASAP.

    That is all

  4. This is an awesome story but I have to tell you that you almost lost me at "I was watching a movie..starring Nicolas Cage." I'm assuming this was by accident?

  5. So you're moving to FLORIDA?

  6. You didn't call back?! I'd still be fixated on that.

    I hope it's a good answer.

  7. That's so true!
    I wish I'd hear about what I'm supposed to do soon.

  8. Cage sucked way more in Ghost Rider, but he seems to have had a lot of help on that one from the writers and director. Movies are, after all, a collaborative art.

  9. First of all, I loved Cage in "Moonstruck."

    Secondly, I love Cheadle, too. ("Hotel Rwanda" of my favorite movies.)

    Third, I hope things start going your way soon.

  10. I've taken the sight of a Richard Petty T-shirt--in NYC, yet!--as an omen that Daddy was still watching over me, somewhere, and wanted the best for me. (Daddy had such a mancrush on Richard Petty, though he'd never have used that word, ever!) It's amazing how when you stop begging the Universe, you become better able to actually hear what the Universe has to say to you. It's a lesson I've had to re-learn over and over.

    I'm glad you had a decent day with your sister.

    And I also loved Cage in Moonstruck.

  11. Suzy, you have always been so wise beyond your years.

    You have lived about 7 lifetimes, and gleaned wisdom each time.

  12. messy weekend with all that 'coming'? :O lol