Friday, October 16, 2009

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Twitter is the new Husband.

140 characters. No Capcha. The end.

I was not the only one giving a cursory look-see to blog posts that were 25 pages long with no pictures. Get a camera, get a scanner! Download from the Internet, only throw a reader a picture bone.

I was not the only one tired of people with 50 Google followers posting 9 times a week. I know a lot of people pledge to post EVERY DAY. 365 posts. I read 200 blogs a day. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? Did I kill your cat or something?

Posting 365 days is not a goal. Hiding your kids' squeaky toys so they'll never find them again is a goal. Eating an entire bag of chips in under 7 minutes is a goal.

You will never read a tweet that says "Sorry I haven't tweeted in a while; I'm a bad twitterer."

No silly, I didn't even know you were missing. Were you in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban? No. You were at your Aunt Mary's baking a thousand cookies made from play dough and twigs. THANK GOD YOU CAME BACK FROM THAT HORROR.

I know what you're thinking, 3 days on Twitter and I'm a bitter hag. You're right; nothing has changed.

And also, no pictures today. That's how I'm punishing you.

End of chat.


  1. Sorry, I've been such a bad blogger. I haven't posted since yesterday. Watch this space for my next post. It's about what I ate for breakfast!

  2. Yes. Exactly. If posting is difficult, please do not do it.

  3. Also and too I do not need to know what you are doing EVERY single minute of your day. I do not need to know you just sharted. Not you Suzy but the collective YOU.

  4. I WANT to know what you, Suzy, are doing every minute of the day. So did you change your panties yet?

  5. Just for that, I'm so going to do 366 posts. I'm freaking not even kidding.

    Have fun on Twitter - I just can't get into it. I guess because I'm so into posting all about myself.


  6. I've never tried it, but I'm pretty sure I could eat a bag of chips in under 7 minutes.

  7. Sorry,, I was in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban. Did I miss anything?

    Oh, and pass me the damn chips.

  8. Aww...I'm too busy blogging to go fight the Taliban. Yeah, I'm hateful and mean and post every day...but if I don't, the noise in my head gets unbearable. Yeah, yeah...but a shrink costs more and if I bake every day my ass will get too big to squeeze through the damn door.

    Sigh...can't win for losing...

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  9. Oh the pain the pain of punishment!! I cannot take it anymore!!!

    I actually signed into twitter today ... and then never did twit a thang!

    Heh ... good times!

  10. wrong-o suz-o... ye did leave a pic, in me bean, of the bitter hag :O lol

  11. I post everyday and it is a job! Commenting on 100 blogs a day is even a bigger job! I love it! LO:

  12. I swear that is why I prefer biographies and non-fiction- it's all about the pictures!

    I do post a lot- only for mercenary reasons though. it gets me higher in the search engines and then people go to my web site and I sell a lot of crap and make a lot of money.
    I wish.
    I do post a lot though...

  13. Is it bad "twitterer" or bad "tweeterer"? That is an important question, someone should blog about it.

  14. Twitter is down today. You okay?

  15. well at least it was short even if there are no pics.....

  16. Wait, we're supposed to read 200 blogs a day?! Only 198 to go...

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