1. Never speak poorly about yourself. Guard your failures as you would your children, or in my case, an Almond Joy.
Talk smack about others though because if not? No reason to live.
2. Engage the disenfranchised and the lonely. Make them feel wanted.
Then take their picture so you can make fun of them on the Internet.
3. Choose your friends wisely. After the party ends, they will be the only ones left. Although they might be disguised as bill collectors.
I'd like to thank every single person who has stopped by my blog and not been offended. I realize how hard that must have been.
Now get out there and kick some ass.
Preferably not mine.