Friday, January 01, 2010

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Some advice for the year 2010:

1. Never speak poorly about yourself. Guard your failures as you would your children, or in my case, an Almond Joy.

Talk smack about others though because if not? No reason to live.

2. Engage the disenfranchised and the lonely. Make them feel wanted.

Then take their picture so you can make fun of them on the Internet.

3. Choose your friends wisely. After the party ends, they will be the only ones left. Although they might be disguised as bill collectors.

I'd like to thank every single person who has stopped by my blog and not been offended. I realize how hard that must have been.

Now get out there and kick some ass.

Preferably not mine.

31 comments:

  1. Oh, you've offended me. How could you not?

    You suck.

    (funny blog)

    Boss O xxxx

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  2. I come here strictly to be offended.

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  3. Cheers to kicking lots of ass in 2010!

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  4. Laughing too much to be offended :).
    Love advice #1 - too true!

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  5. goddammit, if only I'd listened to your advice before unburdening my soul, and failures, to the world

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  6. Thanks for making me laugh in 2009. Looking forward to lots more laughs in 2010. No pressure, though .....

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  7. 2010 is going to be a good year, even number you know.

    My goal is to win something is some contest this year.
    I am still sad that I lost in the ER bill contest, but hope there will be many more. ( contests that is, not ER bills!)

    Good times ahead for you Suzy...
    remember- I'm a little be psychic so I have a feeling about this... or is it psycho?

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  8. Sadly, I guard my failures with the same ineptitude I guard my children. I'm better with Mounds bars. Like a lioness with PMS.

    Happy 2010. Please continue to offend!

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  9. I will look forward to much more of your offensive nature in 2010.

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  10. We were supposed to be offended? Well there I go being all sociopathic again.

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  11. I look to you to say it so I don't have to. so, thanks for always being there for me.

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  12. I'm figuring that if you stop by for "It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!" you ought to have a fairly thick skin.

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  13. Give me that fucking Almond Joy.

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  14. Good advice!

    Happy 2010!

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  15. sumpin wrong with your ass, suzy? :O lol

    how big's your spoon?

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  16. Happy New Year, Suzy! XOXO

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  17. throw in a few "bless your hearts'," and some phony self-deprecation (never let it be true!)and you would make a very good southern woman

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  18. Anonymous3:33 PM

    Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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  19. Anonymous5:26 PM

    How do you think credit crunch affected porn?

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  20. Cheers to an excellent and offensive start of the NEW YEAR!!! Woot woot!!!

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  21. I say you should go ahead and offend people all you like. They can click that little "X" in the top right-hand corner and go home if they get too upset. Besides, they usually get over it.

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  22. You are welcome! Shoot, I don't think you've ever offended me.

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  23. Happy New Year, Suzy! 2010 is here. Man, when will it end?

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  24. Yeah, be nice and then talk smack abou them. Genius.

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  25. I come hear for a good clean smack across the face. Served with a smile, of course.

    Great post.

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  26. Isn't that why they put cameras on cell phones So we can sneak pics and make fun of people after??
    Happy New Year!

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  27. Happy New Year!
    Look forward to reading more and more!! The disenfranchised and lonely RULE!!

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  28. But . but . - oh, you said Kick some. Oh well.

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  29. The news keeps telling me it's going to be a better year. I'm still going to keep my shit kicker shoes on, just in case!

    Hope this year is great to you!

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  30. Hmm Well I was just searching on Google for some psychic readings and psychic articles and just came across your blog, generally I just only visit blogs and retrieve my required information but this time the useful information that you posted in this post compelled me to reply here and appreciate your good work. I just bookmarked your blog.

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  31. Hmm Well I was just searching on Google for some psychic readings and psychic articles and just came across your blog, generally I just only visit blogs and retrieve my required information but this time the useful information that you posted in this post compelled me to reply here and appreciate your good work. I just bookmarked your blog.

    ReplyDelete