Sunday, January 24, 2010

Do You Need A Facelift?

This is one of the easiest ways to determine whether or not you need a face lift and what you'll look like after one. I've used my sister Lindy as the subject because it's always appropriate to humiliate members of your family in a small venue like the Internet.

While sitting up look at yourself in a hand mirror.
Then lie down on your back and look at yourself again in the same mirror.

Lindy was so depressed after she saw these results she asked me if I had a scalpel on me.

Like I'd do her before me. So selfish.

And if you can't tell the difference between the two then get your eyes checked. Seriously. Now. On a Sunday. Hurry.

23 comments:

  1. This has got to be revenge for her wearing a size small t-shirt ;-) Genius.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I need my eyes checked.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I so don't have the moolah for a facelift ... so I'm not trying this trick at home, thankyouverymuch!!!

    snoochie boochies!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This reminds me of an episode of Golden Girls when Blanch learns why the older woman should ALWAYS be on the bottom. She took a handmirror and bent over and saw her reflection.

    It was so hilarious.

    Even to a ten year old.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I remember that episode, too, Ann. The sad part about being on the bottom is that your boobs head toward your armpits.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I need to get my eyes checked too, I think she looks the same!
    Me, I want an eye job and I know that insurance will cover it as my sight is being compromised by my droopy eyes, seriously.

    The sad part is, whenever I say this? No one EVER tries to talk me out of it OR disagrees with me.
    I should have done it ten years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Her neck looks alot better in second!

    ReplyDelete
  8. i knew I needed a facelift when I found I could hide a five dollar bill in my neck.


    Now where was that?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Another person who needs her eyes checked...

    And, really, I wouldn't even look at myself in a hand mirror these days. It's too depressing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The answer to your question is always no.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your poor sister. LOL

    She is actually very attractive. Runs in the family?

    I would get loads of work done if I were really really rich, and really really brave. I wouldn't stop at the face.

    My man boobs would be gone. So would my love handles. My thighs would be tightened. Bum cheek implants. A hollywood smile, of course. LIPO LIPO LIPO
    Erm....what wouldn't I have done?!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I can see a difference--but not a big enough one to go under the knife for!

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's much worse looking down. Don't try that at home.

    ReplyDelete
  14. wow, the difference is pretty obvious to me! Don't think I want to try it though! Thanx!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yeah, after a certain age, you don't EVER want to be on top!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Timely post...having brunch with three friends yesterday and we were all doing the two finger facelift.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Brad S.4:13 PM

    That's why I'm opting for a coffin vs. cremation. On my back with makeup. And I don't want people to say, "Doesn't he look natural?" I want everyone to say, "Doesn't he look better than he usually does?"

    Forget first impressions, it's the last one that lasts.

    Brad S.
    "Don't leave 'em laughing, leave them jealous."

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't need a lift. I'm just going to spend the rest of my life on my back. In the dark.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh stop it! You are gorgeous! Kori xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm totally doing this when I get home!

    Then I'm going to drink heavily and ingest controlled substances. And consider finding a job with health coverage that will pay for cosemtic surgery. Or just piss of our cats that have claws with my face.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ugh, I'm a big mess of a blob when I lay down. I would be happy to have these two pictures as mine-she looks great in both!!

    (though admittedly, I do have bad eyes)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Unbelievable. Your sister is beautiful in both pics, but who knew there would be such a difference? I'm not opposed to face lifts, but I'm thinking that I should perhaps embrace my flaws and try some Juvederm and Botox on those problem areas first. Because I would be that one out of a zillion people whose heart goes out under local anesthesia. My obituary would tell people I died of a double chin.

    ReplyDelete