Monday, January 11, 2010

If I Could Start My Blog Over

I've been blogging for 3 years and 4 months and have logged in 720 posts. Some of the bloggers who have been at it since 2001, like Fussy and Dooce?

GOOD GOD, y'all.

Did that sound like James Brown? It was supposed to. And if you don't know who James Brown is stop reading my blog and go to itunes via Wikipedia.

Every now and again I think what I could have done differently if I had insight into what 3 years of blogging would look like. What would I change?

1. Not blog as much the first year. That's when you're all excited and think every thought in your head will be written gold. You will regret this when year 3 looms and you realize you're not as fascinating as you think you are.

2. Upload pictures to every post. I think if James Joyce had put them in Ulysses, we all might not only have read it but understood it. And if you don't know who James Joyce is stop reading my blog and go to the library via Wikipedia.

3. Write shorter posts. No one likes to read paragraph after paragraph after paragraph. Of course this post is turning out to be just that. And with no pictures. But I claim to have won an Emmy on my sidebar so buyer beware.

4. Not make my blog name so lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng. The line is from my novel, His Dead Wife. I have no idea what I would have called it instead. Something short. Like, *.

5. Run ads sooner. I have no issues with monetizing my blog. I like money, even in small amounts. Very small amounts.

6. Get a custom header. I didn't do this until maybe a year and a half into blogging. A custom header makes readers believe that you care about your blog and its content. Of course nothing could be further from the truth.

7. Always remember who you are, right from the jump. Find your voice and stick with it. People come to expect Chocolate. Don't give them Strawberry and then Dulce de Leche and then back to Chocolate. (What the fuck am I talking about?) Film star James Dean was great at branding himself. He always played the dark and brooding outsider. And if you don't know who James Dean is go rent a movie via Wikipedia.

Sidebar: Christopher Reeve didn't want to be known as Superman. Didn't want to be branded. And look what happened there.

And now I want ice cream.


  1. I couldn't have said it better myself.


  2. I'm happy to say I know all of the Jameses. I guess I should get a custom header...

  3. What? I'm not as fascinating as I think?

  4. Suzy, all good advice. I have been thinking about a custom header... because I'm cheap, to me it's like a tattoo- a big commitment. ( you can tell I don't have any tats, right?)

    As for making $$$, I do because it gets traffic to my web site. That was my original intent, what I didn't realize was the added benefits of blogging.
    I forget what those are right now, but I know there are a lot of them...
    it's monday.

  5. I'm pretty sure that * is taken.

  6. Still laughin' @ Good God y'all!

  7. Have gelato instead--I had some in Vegas it was a little bowl full of Heaven for sure.

  8. This post made me laugh. So did the last one.

    But now you have ten more followers than me and the joke is over.

  9. I just started to realize that I am not as fascinating as I thought I was.
    And once again you are a genius! Ulysses with pictures! That totally could have saved me from failing 9th grade english. Oh and not being high might have helped too.

  10. I knew all the Jims (I couldn't figure out where to put the apostrophe, if anywhere, for pluralizing James).

    Do I get a prize?

    My header is custom - I made it myself. If you look closely, you can see the paste. It's off-centre because I am...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

    I'm all for monetizing. I'm not a purist. I like to think I'm even practical sometimes. No one is forced to read my blog, or the ads on it, or to click on anything they don't wanna, so I figure it's all good.

    I'm grumpy today, and going for a nap. That dang apostrophe dilemma wore me out.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who'd like to add that the blogs she likes best are well proofed and don't contain apostrophe catastrophes or other grammatical follies)(I know it happens to everyone now and then...but serially? Ugh.)

  11. I like the name of your blog! The one thing I have learned it to keep my posts short. I aim for no more than 400 words, and always include photos. I know that if I am faced with someone's super long post, I had either be a really dedicated following or the first half sentence has to peak my interest. Does that make me a big meanie? Perhaps. I also want some ice cream.

  12. But Suzy I just write what the voices in my head tell me to and they aren't very consistant.

  13. Guilty! Please don't take away my Blog License.

  14. great post. i am especially guilty of many of these things. thanks for the advice suzy ;-)


  15. I read only the first paragraph and then I went to Wikipedia. It felt a lot like being sent to jail while playing Monopoly.

    I passed go. Can I get my $200?

  16. I wish I would have known you were so close this past weekend! I would have loved to meet up with you! Thank you so much for thinking of me Suzy with the books. I don't have very many of those, for some reason. I have read the first Hollywood Babylon, but that's it.

    I have wondered about running ads on my blog, but don't know much about it. I'm curious...what do you think? I know you said small amounts of money, but is it a hassle? You rock as usual Suzy and always keep me smiling sweetie. Have a great night! Kori xoxo

  17. sprinkle a bit of instant coffee on some vanilla icecream [in a bowl would be nice], then just wet that coffee with your fave booze... eat w/spoon, savor!

  18. fabulous post - right on, funny and informative.

  19. -->I always add pictures because people are lazy, they want to look and not read. Myself included.

  20. Hear, hear, sister! You nailed it.

    At this point, I'm lucky if my posts even get a spellcheck run.


    And thanks for the thumbs!


  21. If I could do it all over again, I'd have taken a lot of lessons from you earlier on. You are my blogging guru!


  22. Anonymous8:16 AM

    I inclination not concur on it. I think polite post. Especially the title attracted me to read the intact story.

  23. Anonymous1:31 PM

    Blog-schmog! Now that we are relying on you, you must blog hourly. Otherwise, we will worry that:
    1. You tripped going by the Cafe 101 and had to go to the ER;
    2. You went to Haiti for lunch;
    3. You are being held captive by one of your creepy neighbors;
    4. You are being held captive by a family member.
    Please do not keep us in suspense.

  24. I couldn't have said it better myself either.

    Unless I had a bottle of Vodka....

  25. If I could have started over, I would have gotten involved in the blogosphere earlier. I spent a lot of years blogging for 3 friends, not realizing there was a whole blog world out there to have my way with!

  26. My blog title is way way to long...but i feel like I'm stuck with it now!

  27. That's great advice. I didn't blog so much the first year. OK, I'm only really in year two, but I didn't blog much in year one and was only being read by a few friends and family. And then I got annoyed when those one or two friends and family members stopped commenting.

  28. Well hell's bells ... right on sistah!

    I will continue to blog daily as I am in the KNOW as to how golden my words are, even if no one else is. I've tried many a time to customize my blog header, to no avail. Damned customizable headers!

    I've also decided that if people don't like pictures of succulent yummy foodstuffs, they just shoudn't stop by!!! HAH.

    Now ... stop by my blog, newly moved,

    That's right ... hit it up ... and leave a comment ... I'm not feeling the love come from my golden words. Maybe I just need a golden retriever. It could run get the toys that my dogs fail to get.


  29. Well NOW you share all of the guidelines... after I'm guilty of all that your wrote!!

    And Ulysses...I read it I really really did!!!

    In my dreams,
    I aspire to read it and hmmmm you just gave me a great idea:

    Lets do it!!

  30. Anonymous7:19 PM

    It was very interesting for me to read the post. Thank you for it. I like such themes and everything connected to them. I definitely want to read more soon.

    Avril Swenson

  31. I am so guilty of #2. I don't know what it is. *hangs head in shame*