Wednesday, January 07, 2009

My Current Enemies 2

1. SAG. Last year I got 6 screeners. FREE MOVIES. This year I got one, although it was The Dark Knight wide screen edition WHICH I'VE ALREADY SEEN.

2. The McPoundersons.

3. Winter. I'm over it being in the 60's and I don't care if you live in the coldest place on earth. Whose fault is that? Don't send me your Fahrenheits and your Centigrades to make me feel better. I'll feel better when I'm in a bikini and threatening to show my cellulite to the neighbors.

4. My fucking hands. And NOT the hands that are having sex; I keep those in the closet.

5. Oprah. You're fat, you're thin, you're fatter, you're thinner, you're fattish, you're thinnish. Mainly you're sanctimonious and annoying so why would ANYONE take diet advice from you?

6. Me. Maybe I'm sanctimonious and annoying. Show of hands?

7. Now put your hands down and go read part 10 of All The Bad Sex I've Had or I'll start posting recipes of how to boil and fillet a cat.


  1. That's it. I'm comin' to Hollywood...

  2. Okay, okay, you don't have to threaten us!

  3. Every time it snows and I see my poor hus shoveling all of it, I try to work on him about moving somewhere warm. He still won't budge.
    Ha, I've already read part 10! And I love it! More please.

  4. Mmmmm ... cat - the other white meat!

  5. Anonymous10:54 AM

    I think your enemy list is just perfect. Weeeellll, I could add a couple, but you've already done the hard work.

  6. Whew. I didn't make the list. score.

  7. Amen sister! I don't like Oprah either!

  8. I think I want to post on "My Current Enemies." Genius.