Friday, January 30, 2009

It's Everyone Can Bite Me Friday!

Kaiser Permanente Hospital keeps running this hateful commercial. "When I grow up I want to be an old woman. An old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old woman." Thanks for explaining how that works.

They're the hospital that laid off a married couple recently here in L.A. Then the man went home and killed his family, his wife and 5 children. So I'm thinking they need to pull that ad since their tag line at the end of the commercial is "Thrive."

A man would have written When I grow up I want to have a younger woman. A young, young, young, young, young, young woman," so he was assigned to another account.

A woman in Hollywood would have written, "When I grow up I want to have free Botox. Free, free, free, free, free, free Botox."

The day of McLoserstene/Jill's birthday we went to Victoria's Secret because she wanted a raspberry colored bra. RASPBERRY. I took out my camera and surreptiously took a picture of her with her head in a drawer full of thongs. All of a sudden this woman screams at me from across the store: NO PHOTOGRAPHY ALLOWED IN THE STORE. I put my finger to my lips to shush her and went over and whispered that my friend hated having her picture taken but it was her 30th birthday but she didn't care because why piss off customers when your store is almost empty? Victoria's Secret is the company that was sued by a woman because they stole her PATENTED 100 ways bra.

Shouldn't I be taking pictures of THEM?

The drug dealer who lives in the apartment next to me has been in a state prison and is finally getting evicted. One of his girlfriends was covering for him and moved into his apartment to keep it looking occupied. He's been gone for a YEAR and management just found out. We've known for a while but didn't want a homeless woman on the street. Plus she never dealt drugs and was really nice although I could never remember her name. For the last few years we've had limos idling at the curb at 2:00 a.m. or guys jumping a wall and coming in a door Mr. Druggerton would leave open for them. Cops were called multiple times because there had been incidents of chairs dumped in the pool and broken glass flying out his windows. Once I called 911 because I heard a woman in his bedroom screaming for help. I told them not to come to me since I lived next door and was afraid Mr. Druggerton would send a thug after me.

The cops came. To my apartment.

The police finally went to his apartment, the Yeller talked to the cops and then she and Mr. Druggerton went back in the apartment; the screaming was reduced to yelling and I said Fuck Em.

This building is a trip.

Right after the inauguration, AOL had pictures of Martin Luther King, Jr. on every page, on every banner. I called my sister and said I thought it was rude that they had MLK's picture all over their pages instead of Obama's.

There was a huge pause.

"Yeah, in that it was Martin Luther King, Jr.'s holiday? VERY rude."
"Yeah, whatever."

And the woman who had octuplets with 6 kids at home, no husband and she's 33 is really a moron. The doctors here are calling it a tragedy for the octuplets. And yet she'll still probably get married before me.

End of chat.


  1. The octuplet story gets more mind-blowing by the minute. She definitely needs a shrink.

  2. You make my life seem so...boring.

  3. I heard the multi-mom's partner/hsuband whatever had been working in Iraq.

    I bet he's the only Westerner in the world who is looking forward to flying back to Baghdad.

  4. Anonymous10:06 AM

    And, to wrap things up neatly, I think it was....Kaiser Permanente who gave her the fertility drugs.

    When I grow up, I want to have many kids. Many, many, many, many, many, many, many kids.


  5. Jenn, couldn't agree more.

    Sherri, believe me, there are boring days too!

    Tiggy, I think it's her father who is already in Iraq.

    Anonymous, Kaiser P. is claiming no involvement other than that they delivered the babies.

  6. Anonymous10:23 AM

    I learned on the news that the woman had taken fertility drugs and had in vitro I believe. The doctor (perhaps from Kaiser) fertilized 8 eggs. They were saying that 4 would have done it and it was irresponsible medicine.

  7. Anonymous11:21 AM

    Get the F out of here! That hasn't gotten here! She is SINGLE and doing this?

  8. I am thinking it is probably you hard earn money and mine that will be taking care of all 14 of her children. I feel sorry for all the is evident the mama wants attention not per say the kids. No wonder there will be no welfare reform...!

  9. The octuplet lady? Crazy as she may be, the dumbass in-vitro doctor who implanted eight blasts should have his license yanked.

    here's what's going on with me.... blah, blah, blah, diaper, blah, blah, blah, don't put that up your nose, blah, blah blah, where the hell are all the sippy cups, blah-dy, blah-dy bloo.

  10. Anonymous2:05 PM

    I just left MSN. They have a news story stating that the mom was counseled to reduce it to four, giving them more of a chance, and she refused. The lower the birthweight, the more chance of severe lifelong lung problems I believe...

  11. I wish I had drug dealer neighbors, oh wait, I do.
    That was ridiculous that both husband and wife were laid off from Kaiser. Assholes.
    The crazy woman with 14 kids is, well, CRAZY!

  12. I wish there was a commercial for free Botox, I'd be the first in line to get it.

    I love that you took her picture while she dove headfirst into the thongs!

    I hope my life is as exciting as yours when I move to LA...

  13. Don't worry, you'll probably get married before the Octuplet lady. After all, her vagina is like a minivan, yours must still be like a small VW.

    Dr Boss O xxxx

  14. Oh, yeah, right, Hospital? Really GOOD ad...duh....

  15. The IVF industry in this country is grossly underregulated. In Italy, no doctor is allowed to implant more than 3 fertilized eggs in the woman's uterus.