It's Everyone Can Bite Me Friday!

Kaiser Permanente Hospital keeps running this hateful commercial. "When I grow up I want to be an old woman. An old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old woman." Thanks for explaining how that works.

They're the hospital that laid off a married couple recently here in L.A. Then the man went home and killed his family, his wife and 5 children. So I'm thinking they need to pull that ad since their tag line at the end of the commercial is "Thrive."

A man would have written When I grow up I want to have a younger woman. A young, young, young, young, young, young woman," so he was assigned to another account.

A woman in Hollywood would have written, "When I grow up I want to have free Botox. Free, free, free, free, free, free Botox."

The day of McLoserstene/Jill's birthday we went to Victoria's Secret because she wanted a raspberry colored bra. RASPBERRY. I took out my camera and surreptiously took a picture of her with her head in a drawer full of thongs. All of a sudden this woman screams at me from across the store: NO PHOTOGRAPHY ALLOWED IN THE STORE. I put my finger to my lips to shush her and went over and whispered that my friend hated having her picture taken but it was her 30th birthday but she didn't care because why piss off customers when your store is almost empty? Victoria's Secret is the company that was sued by a woman because they stole her PATENTED 100 ways bra.

Shouldn't I be taking pictures of THEM?

The drug dealer who lives in the apartment next to me has been in a state prison and is finally getting evicted. One of his girlfriends was covering for him and moved into his apartment to keep it looking occupied. He's been gone for a YEAR and management just found out. We've known for a while but didn't want a homeless woman on the street. Plus she never dealt drugs and was really nice although I could never remember her name. For the last few years we've had limos idling at the curb at 2:00 a.m. or guys jumping a wall and coming in a door Mr. Druggerton would leave open for them. Cops were called multiple times because there had been incidents of chairs dumped in the pool and broken glass flying out his windows. Once I called 911 because I heard a woman in his bedroom screaming for help. I told them not to come to me since I lived next door and was afraid Mr. Druggerton would send a thug after me.

The cops came. To my apartment.

The police finally went to his apartment, the Yeller talked to the cops and then she and Mr. Druggerton went back in the apartment; the screaming was reduced to yelling and I said Fuck Em.

This building is a trip.

Right after the inauguration, AOL had pictures of Martin Luther King, Jr. on every page, on every banner. I called my sister and said I thought it was rude that they had MLK's picture all over their pages instead of Obama's.

There was a huge pause.

"Yeah, in that it was Martin Luther King, Jr.'s holiday? VERY rude."
"Yeah, whatever."

And the woman who had octuplets with 6 kids at home, no husband and she's 33 is really a moron. The doctors here are calling it a tragedy for the octuplets. And yet she'll still probably get married before me.

End of chat.