It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Today I'm having lunch with one of the funniest comics ever, Margaret Smith. She also has 7 Emmys from writing on Ellen. Unbelievably, I have no Emmys just from watching the show. Maybe you've seen her on Leno or Letterman? Check out her comedy videos here. She also wrote a book called What Was I Thinking? About her adoption of her two boys, Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Or maybe I have her confused with me and wishful thinking.

I've seen some bad movies in the past few months. Doubt was too on the nose for my tastes and Meryl Streep's overacting was annoying. Amy Adams shines in Doubt but is beyond saving in the attempted screwball comedy, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. Carole Lombard she ain't. I could not sit past an hour of Nixon/Frost. Hancock, Gran Torino, and the one I was waiting for, The Women, was so stupid it made Baby Mama look good. Funniest movie of the year has to be Tropic Thunder. Towelhead is disturbing and should not be seen by younger children. Written by Alan Ball, who also wrote American Beauty and exec-produced Six Feet Under and True Blood, the man has a serious obsession with pedophiles.

On Wednesday, The Manorexic made good on a campaign promise and introduced his choice for a new White House post he is creating: chief performance officer. Clearly he read my blog and has me in mind for this.

The new head of the CIA has ZERO experience for the world's most powerful intelligence agency outside of Mossad. But thank God we have the world's best known television doctor, Sanjay Gupta, as Surgeon General. I guess Dr. House couldn't get out of his contract.

And to all the Screen Actor's Guild members out there, if it comes down to it, don't forget to vote for the strike. All of our TV shows can be downloaded for free and we get no residuals and the producers are fighting us on this, mainly because the money comes out of their pockets. To make my point, I did Seinfeld in 1994 and Curb in 1999 and I still get checks from them. Jerry has a warehouse of Porsche's and I have a Ford Contour.

Remember Gilligan's Island? They get no money in residuals because the unions weren't there to protect them. This happened to a lot of actors back in the 50's and 60's. New media, the Internet, MP3's etc., still isn't at its apogee, so we need to make sure we're covered for the future. Why don't you get this deal at your job? BECAUSE YOU WORK EVERY DAY. We're lucky to work once a year.

Thanks, Reality TV.

End of chat.