Tuesday, November 25, 2008

So Much For Keeping A List

I had so much to do yesterday but only did one thing. So that whole going to call AAA and driving the car on Monday thing? Didn't happen. It was too cloudy. I did, however, add renter's insurance to my car policy because in 16 years I haven't had it and you know, clouds can lead to a 12.7 earthquake.

Do you get in trouble for starting a fire in your apartment and then say your hands were so numb you couldn't pick up a bottle of vodka water to spread it knock it out?

There's a cricket living in my bathroom. I can't remember which ones chirp, the male or the female, but this one doesn't chirp. It also doesn't leave the bathroom. Years ago I would just drop a Harper's Bazaar on it and wait a few days to scrape up the corpse. On occasion, I would keep them off death row and cover them with a glass and slide the paper underneath etc. etc. and free them outside while doing the Heebie Jeebie Dance. Then a few years ago my mother and her friend told me crickets bring good luck and never to kill one. So because of my hands I can't even lift a Harper's Bazaar much less aim a glass over a cricket. So I decided to just ignore it. It's been there about 3 weeks and it did disappear for a while and I thought it had died or escaped. Then the last 3 days I saw it again. Today I was in the kitchen and saw a baby cricket, where the bathroom wall and the kitchen wall meet.

I guess it was a she cricket and gave birth to probably one thousand babies. If I have great luck this year I'm going to be asking you all for name suggestions. Lots and lots and LOTS of name suggestions. But I'm glad I didn't kill the mother.

Good grief, I'm the crazy cricket lady.

While I call AAA, go read the latest part of my memoir at Scrivel.

End of chat.


  1. I HATE CRICKETS! I'd be going after it with a tennis racket, a la Woody Allen in Annie Hall.

    And be glad it's not a chirping one (although then you wouldn't have a thousand baby crickets) - one chirping cricket inside the house is incredibly LOUD.

  2. I never get done everything on my list for the day, especially phone calls. I have about 7 phone calls I need to make that I have been putting off for months!

  3. Ewww. I had to use the public bathroom in out office building and there was one in the corner by the toilet. I was so freaked out thinking it might jump up my... well you know! ;op

  4. Don't the Chinese keep crickets as pets? Isn't there such a thing as a cricket box for said purpose? And weren't brass cricket boxes were really vogue in the eighties? Who knows? Maybe they'll make a comeback.

  5. Crickets are good to eat holistic N shit. Who knows, dip `em in chocolate and feel the new vibrations.

    I know, I know...
    :::I'm going to AA. :::

  6. Anonymous2:12 AM

    I think they're terrorists.