Do you get in trouble for starting a fire in your apartment and then say your hands were so numb you couldn't pick up a bottle of
There's a cricket living in my bathroom. I can't remember which ones chirp, the male or the female, but this one doesn't chirp. It also doesn't leave the bathroom. Years ago I would just drop a Harper's Bazaar on it and wait a few days to scrape up the corpse. On occasion, I would keep them off death row and cover them with a glass and slide the paper underneath etc. etc. and free them outside while doing the Heebie Jeebie Dance. Then a few years ago my mother and her friend told me crickets bring good luck and never to kill one. So because of my hands I can't even lift a Harper's Bazaar much less aim a glass over a cricket. So I decided to just ignore it. It's been there about 3 weeks and it did disappear for a while and I thought it had died or escaped. Then the last 3 days I saw it again. Today I was in the kitchen and saw a baby cricket, where the bathroom wall and the kitchen wall meet.
I guess it was a she cricket and gave birth to probably one thousand babies. If I have great luck this year I'm going to be asking you all for name suggestions. Lots and lots and LOTS of name suggestions. But I'm glad I didn't kill the mother.
Good grief, I'm the crazy cricket lady.
While I call AAA, go read the latest part of my memoir at Scrivel.
End of chat.
I HATE CRICKETS! I'd be going after it with a tennis racket, a la Woody Allen in Annie Hall.
ReplyDeleteAnd be glad it's not a chirping one (although then you wouldn't have a thousand baby crickets) - one chirping cricket inside the house is incredibly LOUD.
I never get done everything on my list for the day, especially phone calls. I have about 7 phone calls I need to make that I have been putting off for months!
ReplyDeleteEwww. I had to use the public bathroom in out office building and there was one in the corner by the toilet. I was so freaked out thinking it might jump up my... well you know! ;op
ReplyDeleteDon't the Chinese keep crickets as pets? Isn't there such a thing as a cricket box for said purpose? And weren't brass cricket boxes were really vogue in the eighties? Who knows? Maybe they'll make a comeback.
ReplyDeleteCrickets are good to eat holistic N shit. Who knows, dip `em in chocolate and feel the new vibrations.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know...
:::I'm going to AA. :::
I think they're terrorists.
ReplyDeletethnks
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