Friday, November 07, 2008

It's Everyone Can Bite Me Friday!

Third time must be the charm since I fell AGAIN. Tripped over the gardener and fell backwards. As I hit, my skirt flipped up to my face revealing not only that I was going commando but giving the pool man a nice look. All I could think about was thank god I lost weight or the two of them might have mistaken me for a beached walrus and pushed me into the pool.

My sister was with me and two tenants rushed outside to help. ALL OF THIS because our asshole manager, the one the entire building hates, won't water the outdoor plants. So 2 jade trees are lost, one almost dead and one struggling. I've complained to management but they're more retarded than our manager. So I was trying to do it and asked the gardener to help me and I fell.

So I'm sitting by the side of the pool with an icepack Tony brought me (The neighbor who lent me the black boot post-op). He's like a mini hospital in that he knew all the symptoms of concussion and so did Jenny, owner of Monkey Dog, who also rushed to help.

So I go to thank the gardener and say, "You're Japanese right?" SO OF COURSE HE WASN'T AND WHY DID I ASK HIM THAT? It's not like I even speak Japanese. So he says he's Korean and I continue to talk and say, "How do you say Thank You in Korean and he didn't understand and walked away. The only thing that made me feel better was that he kept getting me and my sister confused.

As we walked to my sister's car she said, "I totally thought he was Japanese."

My sister's practically on the dole. She traded in her white 525i BMW at $660 a month to a white 325i BMW at only $400 a month. I told her our financial guru Suze Orman says a lease is a waste of money and she knew it but riposted with "No maintenance problems ever and a new car every two years." My Ford Contour is 11 years old and blueberry colored. Yeah, I don't stick out too much in this town.

Just when all the annoying political shit has stopped on TV, today they STARTED THE XMAS CRAP.

After two days of a horrific slide on Wall Street, almost a thousand points, it's up $248 today. This is all dismal news for the economy for those of you who follow the stock market as an indicator of our stabilty. It. Is. Bad. And my sister, who TRAVELS with the stock quotes and talks to her stockbroker more than our mother, says it's still going down. There goes my BMW, which I was going to buy in 45 years.

Go over to Uproarious, where I say Goodbye.

End of chat.


  1. I hope your head is better. Did anyone end up watering the plants?
    My Toyota is $350 a month. I should have leased something fancier.
    T circled all he wants for Xmas in the Wal-Mart oty catalogue. It came to $1200. I don't think so.

  2. Lalalalala. I'm not listening to bad economic news because my husband got a job!

    I thank goodness every day that I won't need my 401k for another 20 years.

  3. Did anyone water your commando?

    f xxxx

  4. Oh Jesus God you make me laugh.

  5. Anonymous4:27 PM

    i had to look up whta a ford contour was...blueberry??

    and why you going commando while watering plants??

  6. I had a Ford Contour. The color was called "bijou" or something like that. Fancy word for purple.

    Then, the airbag blew up in my face. No more Ford Contour.

    My retirement plan lost lots of money, but the economy is generally cyclic, and usually rebounds. Hopefully, I will retire on a high note.

  7. On the Christmas Crap? Bring it on. I've got a sweater to find.

  8. The area right next to where I work is a big shopping area - not an enclosed mall, just a big bunch of upscale shops spread out over acres and acres. They had all their Xmas decorations and lights and shit up BEFORE HALLOWEEN!! It just screams "PLEASE spend money!"