Gidget And Pootie Tang

I came across the Gidget TV marathon on July 4th. I've always been a Sally Field fan and even on that show, she could act her way around a corner. I also love her show Brothers and Sisters and can't wait to find out WHO THE HELL RYAN IS.

On one of the shows I watched, she was supposed to be 15 and a half and getting a job. Her dad thought she went to work at the Tom Kat Club instead of at the malt shop where she was actually working. At one point the father turns to his other daughter and son-in-law and says he's "Going to give her a spanking."

That kind of dialogue no longer exists on TV unless it's on Bernie Mac and I think his show got canceled. Maybe on My Wife and Kids they joke about it too. What I'm trying to say is white people seem to have lost their minds while the black community is still holding it together, just like Gidget's dad. You never actually see any spanking on TV, except on old I Love Lucy reruns when Ricky would take Lucy over his knee and whack her behind. Did men spank their wives in the 1950's? And if they did, why weren't more women indicted for murder?

When I first began doing standup I was often the MC at a lot of downtown New York clubs and the 2 a.m. late show on Saturday night at the Improv on West 44th Street. White men in the audience were harder on me than black men. I used to do this bit where I'd ask for a wallet from any guy in front and go through it. Then I'd ask the guy, "Who is this girl in the picture with you?" And then I'd turn to the woman he was sitting with and say "Honey, it's not you." Then I'd ask, "How old is this condom?" I was a regular laugh riot.

White men would get SO mad at me. Of course the audience would scream because the more annoyed the man would get, the more I would point out that he was sweating and clearly lying and wasn't his date just a little young for him? But black men would laugh and often lead the audience in the group howl. Unlike the white men, they never glared at me and always offered up their wallets quickly, effortlessly. They GOT the joke. Although to be fair, you don't want to be at any show that I emcee and sit up front. Seriously. I'm trouble.

One night at Comedy U Grand in the village, Lance Crouther was on the bill with me. You know Lance as Pootie Tang if you're a Louis CK fan. He's also a funny comic and gifted writer from The Chris Rock Show, where he and Louis both won Emmys. I mentioned to Lance that white men didn't like me when I Emceed but black men did.

"Black people respect their mothers. White people respect their fathers. When you were a kid and saw your father walking towards you with that Look On His Face, I'll bet you straighted up. Well, we did the same thing with our mothers. You don't want a spanking from your mama. So when certain white men see you holding that microphone, they don't necessarily give you their respect but black men have no trouble with you being in charge."

Sidebar: As to the midget thumbnail pictures that can only be seen if you have three eyes? The Internets are cracking down and making it harder to save a bigger file. I tried. I did.

End of chat.

Gidget Pootie Tang Spanking I Love Lucy Lance Crouther Louis CK