Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Damn, I'm Good. REALLY Good.

Not really, just pimping out my title.

In the almost two years I've been blogging, I've noticed some, okay most bloggers have what I don't have:

A 9 to 5 job.
A husband.
A dog.
A cat.
A turtle.
A coyote.
You get the picture.
A new house.
An old house.
Renovation of a new house.
Renovation of an old house.
A garden.
A hobby.
A bad boss.
A terrible commute.
Job loss.

Imagine if I had all the above how much more annoying I would be. I'll give you a minute to wrap your head around that. I'll be over here in the corner. Texting my dealer.

End of chat.


  1. Where's the list of what you have that all of us MommyBlogger types don't have?

  2. Jenn, here's that list:
    A. A bad attitude
    B. Too much surgery
    C. A sketchy past

  3. Anonymous11:06 AM

    You are perhaps forgetting some top blog topics: obesity and/or eating disorder, and my favorite, political pontificating.

  4. You know what else you don't have?

    Stretch marks
    barf on your couch

    You know what I don't have that you have?


    Thanks for letting me vent! ; )

  5. momjeans, you're too funny.

  6. no nine to five...but a dog, how else would I bitch?

  7. Momjeans is right. Shall I send you a turtle, honey? Or rent a child to you for a few weeks?

  8. rosie, a need a self-walking dog. Where do I get one of those? At the cat store?

    susan, a turtle is about all I could handle right now. Let me get this straight, I have to PAY to rent a kid? Hmmmmm, someone is on to a great idea.

  9. I don't have most of those things either (children, pets, etc.). And the things I do have (9-5 job, husband, very bad-and-oh-so-tempting-to-blog-about-but-i'll-probably-have-to-wait-until-they-die family), I can't blog about them. So where does that leave me?
    The weather.
    The weather.

  10. I have way to many of those items on your list.

    Hit me up with your dealer's 7 digits.

  11. I have a lot of those things, but what I don't have is a dealer. My hus said I should just hang around the grade school playground and one will find me.
    We used to have a "poop chair".Now thankfully, the children are all continent.

  12. Who let your BOOT post?

    Who! Who! Who! who.



  13. Hey, if you want barf on your couch, I can send you some.

  14. Yeah, but at least YOU have readers. Oh, and you're funny, so that's a plus.

    If you suddenly fall about as far from Sanity as one can fall and you actually WANT any of the things on that list surrounded by beautiful downtown Rednecksville USA, you may borrow Casa de Crazy for as long as it takes you to hunt me down and drag me (kicking and screaming "This isn't my mother, help, help, stranger danger!!") home. And I actually LIKE my life almost half the time!

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (thanks for stopping by)

  15. OK, if you are lacking most of that shit, can we PLEASE swap lives? Because I've had ENOUGH of the fucking coyotes.

  16. I have a husband and a cat and couple of twenty-something yr old former kids. That's about it.

    Oh, I used to have in-laws, but I disowned a bunch of them.

    Geez, no wonder I don't have much to blog about.

  17. So, Suzy, if you were melted down for scrap, how much titanium are you worth now? And you forgot about your readers that have birds.

  18. I was too lame to find your blogcatalog profile to leave you a message. (it could be the wine) Anyway, check out my latest post. Thanks for the help in my huge win!

  19. I am in the same situation as one of your other commenters...I don't dare blog about my family (mom and siblings that is). I tried that once and my older sister didn't speak to me for a long time.

    She doesn't read my blog, but my younger sister does and she called the older one and read her what I wrote...I told the younger sister to STOP THAT!

  20. So let me get this straight, some of you would like to send me barf (I'm crying because I'm so touched by your generosity).

    Most of you don't post about your families or in chick's case, they don't even know she has a blog.

    Two of you want the name of my dealer.

    Chandler, if melted down for scrap I would be worth the price of one bird.

    And I thought I had mental issues.

  21. Goes to show how truly entertaining you are! You don't need *props*.

    Ha ha! My husband is my *prop*. He is sooo going to kill me.

    Wait a minute, did I just call myself Carrot Top?
    Because I'll jump out the window... this time for real!

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