Friday, September 05, 2008

It's Everyone Can Bite Me Friday!

Thank you, Merecat, for my award. You really should stop drinking in the morning.One day, when my hands aren't frozen in the Paleozoic Age, I'll get back to being Mrs. Art Linkalotter and do what I'm supposed to do with these awards I get.

Michael Phelps, 8 gold medals. Now what are they criticizing him for? His choice of footwear. Apparently he wears ugly shoes. We build them up and then tear them down. Do other countries do this?

I've done a lot of things in my life that I've been proud of. I've been lucky and had an interesting life that has taken me around the world. But nothing has made me more proud than the email I got from a reader telling me my blog inspired them to register to vote. Doesn't matter who you vote for, DOESN'T MATTER, just vote. And don't let anyone tell you how to vote. They're control freaks who think their way is the 'right' way. There is no 'right' way. There is only 'your' way. And this is being discussed on many blogs right now: The idea that you won't talk to someone who doesn't vote the way you do. Stop talking to someone because they're mean to you or killed your cat or badmouthed you at your job. But because of who you're voting for? GROW UP.

I'm SO OVER all the assholes who bashed Hillary and are now going after Sarah Palin. Sexism is an equal political party nightmare. From men who fear women in power and women who suffer from Tall Poppy Syndrome. Hopefully the more women who get to the top, the more these men and women will shut the fuck up. Or die. Or both. One of the most significant outcomes of this new addition to the Republican ticket is that sexism is being discussed. By the public, the pundits and the media. Shine a light on that, motherfuckers.

And speaking of dumb fucks, The Manorexic was asked if there was sexism against Palin and he replied no. "If she's out here like I am, then she has to take it." Take what, you arrogant gasbag? Scrutiny into her past career? Absolutely. Scrutiny into her personal life? Absolutely. Scrutiny about her political views? Absolutely. Asked if she could raise her kids and be the Vice-President? Questioned whether being Governor of Alaska in any way contributed to her having a Down Syndrome child? Fucking no way. Obama apparently doesn't know the meaning of the word 'sexism.' OMG. He's just another white guy.

I went to Alaska once. The Anchorage Comedy Club back in the mid 90's. I grew up on the East coast and spent 13 years on the upper East side of New York City and you couldn't pay me to live in inclement weather again. Especially after southern California. It was 84 degrees here yesterday. In my refrigerator.

The other act and I spent a day at Portage Valley in the Chugach National Forest. On the way we saw two men walking along the highway with shotguns over their shoulders. In broad daylight. Hunting is a way of life in Alaska and seriously, if you're making mooseburger jokes, congratulations, you're a hack. I had flown into Alaska on Air Duck'sAss and saw hundreds of hunters lined up with their guns at the airport. It's strange to me but I'm most certainly strange to them. Although I'm a meat eater and wear fur and loathe Peta. And I don't mean the bread.

Further on, we saw lots of cars pulled over to the side of the road. We stopped and found people looking up at these bald eagles high up in the trees on the left-hand side of the picture below. See that river? Those eagles would swoop down and pluck swimming salmon and fly off with them. It remains one of the most breathtaking sights I've ever seen.
Later on we went to the Anchorage Zoo and found them on display. I hate zoos but I've watched enough Jack Hanna to know that we need them for education, for the preservation of different species and to pass on their conservership to children.
This is me at the Anchorage Zoo. I'm the one on the right. Wearing fur. About to tuck into that llama.
Join me over at Uproarious today to vote on who's funnier in late night, Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, Ferguson or Conan. Who do you think is my favorite?

End of chat.


  1. Hello. So, here's where you lose me with your problems with the 'Manerexic.' When you are black in America, doors aren't exactly swinging open for you left and right. I'm sure it's something you've seen in the entertainment industry. As a black woman, I would have been just as happy if Sen. Clinton would have gotten the nomination, as Sen. Obama. But I'm not seeing the same feelings with white women. Not sure why that is. Also, wouldn't one of the successes of feminism be that I feel free to dislike Gov. Palin on the merits of what she's done as a politician and what she stands for (stuff about her family is bullshit and off limits as far as I'm concerned) just as quickly as I would judge a man? I wouldn't want anyone to go easier on me because I am black or a woman. If I'm full of shit - call me on it!

  2. Lisa, not sure what you mean "But I'm not seeing the same feelings with white women." Did you mean in show biz or in general? I will agree that black women in particular have it the roughest.

    Car sales:
    White men get the best deals
    Black men get the next best deals
    White women get the next and
    Black women get the worst deals.

    And yes, you can judge Palin on her criteria and politics, as you would a man. But you may not question whether her job affects her ability as a mother since men are NEVER questioned on this topic, black, white or Hispanic.

  3. I so hear you about the not-talking-to-the-people-who-don't-vote-the-same-way thing. Good friends of mine got all huffy and weird when I suggested that both candidates have their strong points. Although don't you think the Republicans sort of foster that attitude with the "We're Americans and you're not!" speeches?

    And what amazes me is all the women on the right who are lionizing Governor Palin for balancing work and family (which she does, admirably) - weren't they the same ones who lambasted Hillary years ago for not staying home?

  4. That animation thing is too weird. Ditch it.

  5. """Although don't you think the Republicans sort of foster that attitude with the "We're Americans and you're not!" speeches?"""

    """And what amazes me is all the women on the right who are lionizing Governor Palin for balancing work and family (which she does, admirably) - weren't they the same ones who lambasted Hillary years ago for not staying home"""

    Yes and I didnt know they came down on Hillary for that reason.

    AND youre just jealous you dont have your mug shucking and jiving on YOUR blog. Come on Bill, hook this mama UP!

  6. The Republicans did not come down on Hillary for not staying home. They criticized her for trying to push through a health care plan when, at that time, she was not an elected official. They were a bit concerned about the president's spouse making major policy decisions. Hillary is the one who made the "stay home and bake cookies" statements, not the Republicans.

    Brian and I also performed at the Anchorage Comedy Club years ago. It was so cold, the locals were saying, "It's never this cold." I actually wore long underwear under my stage clothes.

  7. I'd vote, but I'm Canadian.

    Who was that third party independant guy that always ran and always got rocked?

    Yeah, I vote for him. If he's still running and getting rocked that is.

  8. During hunting seasons, there are a lot of people showing off their rifles here in Vermont too. It makes me just a tad nervous.
    I don't want to think of winter yet. It is sunny and in the high 80's's today.

  9. Ditto Suburban Correspondent on everything. Hey, I don't have to think for myself anymore.

    You know I totally disagree with you on a lot surrounding the Clinton/Palin issue, but I'll always keep stopping by!

  10. Anonymous11:24 AM

    As always, love reading your blog. Disagree with the "stop talking to someone who killed your cat." Most serial killers start killing domestic animals (Jeffrey Dahmer for example).
    Martha Jane

  11. sully, nader? (I dont know what rocked means)

    jenn, as I disagree with you on Obama/Biden, but I still visit too!

    MJ, you would not stop talking to someone who killed your cat????????

  12. Anonymous12:29 PM

    my favorite has been: how is she going to hold office AND raise 5 kids? HELLO!?!?!?!?! the same way manorexic would (minus 3 kids)...oh wait no, Ms. AlmostOprah would have to hire a nanny because she'll be busy doing her own agenda. So I guess Palin's hubby would have to hire some help - he is the stay at home dad, many others do it so what the fuck is the big deal?

    Anyways, I would hug whoever killed my cat - because I hate cats as it is so I would consider it a favor.

    Much love,

    Mrs. K

  13. Anonymous1:09 PM

    Hmmm. Maybe I didn't read it correctly. You said, "The idea that you won't talk to someone who doesn't vote the way you do. Stop talking to someone because they're mean to you or killed your cat or badmouthed you at your job. But because of who you're voting for? GROW UP," I thought you meant you should talk to someone doesn't vote the way you do or who killed your cat. I would say more, but I have to go have dental surgery.

  14. You did indeed read it incorrectly. DONT talk to those people but talk to people who disagree with u politically because they havent hurt you.

  15. I work with very liberal women and I am very conservative. We have heated debates sometimes...and I love it.

    That's what our servicemen are out there fighting right to argue with a liberal democrat at work.

  16. Anonymous4:14 PM

    thotlady, our service men and women are fighting to secure oil contracts beyond our pull out date in a country we should have never invaded. Have another slice of apple pie with the Kool-Aid and take a long drive in your SUV.

  17. Chandler, the US is never at war because of humanitarian reasons. Only WW2 was considered a humanitarian effort and even then, we knew about Hitler's camps and did nothing for a very long time. We are there for oil and arms contracts, which is why you cant end the war overnight. No matter what party wins, this war will go on.

  18. Beautiful pictures! I would love to go to Alaska one day but Andy says we get enough snow here. He doesn't understand that it's not always full of snow.

  19. Anonymous6:37 AM

    I was wondering of some of the people attending the conventions are hired?? There were some odd looking ducks if you ask me. Also, if they put the camera one more time on that pregnant child holding the baby I was going to scream (which I did@!)
    Enjoyed the Alaska photos . . .

  20. You so deserve that award... and better ones, really. I think the animation should totally stay. It's hilarious. And my kids think it's the funniest thing they've ever seen. They try to poke your eyes out just like they do mine.

    Love, love, love Alaska. Llamas are adorable, and so personable. They would make great Far Side fodder.

  21. Yay! for voting... no matter who you vote for.