Friday, October 16, 2009

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Twitter is the new Husband.

140 characters. No Capcha. The end.

I was not the only one giving a cursory look-see to blog posts that were 25 pages long with no pictures. Get a camera, get a scanner! Download from the Internet, only throw a reader a picture bone.

I was not the only one tired of people with 50 Google followers posting 9 times a week. I know a lot of people pledge to post EVERY DAY. 365 posts. I read 200 blogs a day. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? Did I kill your cat or something?

Posting 365 days is not a goal. Hiding your kids' squeaky toys so they'll never find them again is a goal. Eating an entire bag of chips in under 7 minutes is a goal.

You will never read a tweet that says "Sorry I haven't tweeted in a while; I'm a bad twitterer."

No silly, I didn't even know you were missing. Were you in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban? No. You were at your Aunt Mary's baking a thousand cookies made from play dough and twigs. THANK GOD YOU CAME BACK FROM THAT HORROR.

I know what you're thinking, 3 days on Twitter and I'm a bitter hag. You're right; nothing has changed.

And also, no pictures today. That's how I'm punishing you.

End of chat.

18 comments:

  1. Sorry, I've been such a bad blogger. I haven't posted since yesterday. Watch this space for my next post. It's about what I ate for breakfast!

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  2. Yes. Exactly. If posting is difficult, please do not do it.

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  3. Also and too I do not need to know what you are doing EVERY single minute of your day. I do not need to know you just sharted. Not you Suzy but the collective YOU.

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  4. I WANT to know what you, Suzy, are doing every minute of the day. So did you change your panties yet?

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  5. Just for that, I'm so going to do 366 posts. I'm freaking not even kidding.

    Have fun on Twitter - I just can't get into it. I guess because I'm so into posting all about myself.

    Dammit.

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  6. I've never tried it, but I'm pretty sure I could eat a bag of chips in under 7 minutes.

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  7. Sorry,, I was in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban. Did I miss anything?


    Oh, and pass me the damn chips.

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  8. Aww...I'm too busy blogging to go fight the Taliban. Yeah, I'm hateful and mean and post every day...but if I don't, the noise in my head gets unbearable. Yeah, yeah...but a shrink costs more and if I bake every day my ass will get too big to squeeze through the damn door.

    Sigh...can't win for losing...

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

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  9. Oh the pain the pain of punishment!! I cannot take it anymore!!!

    I actually signed into twitter today ... and then never did twit a thang!

    Heh ... good times!

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  10. wrong-o suz-o... ye did leave a pic, in me bean, of the bitter hag :O lol

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  11. I post everyday and it is a job! Commenting on 100 blogs a day is even a bigger job! I love it! LO:

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  12. I swear that is why I prefer biographies and non-fiction- it's all about the pictures!

    I do post a lot- only for mercenary reasons though. it gets me higher in the search engines and then people go to my web site and I sell a lot of crap and make a lot of money.
    I wish.
    I do post a lot though...

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  13. Is it bad "twitterer" or bad "tweeterer"? That is an important question, someone should blog about it.

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  14. Twitter is down today. You okay?

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  15. well at least it was short even if there are no pics.....

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  16. Wait, we're supposed to read 200 blogs a day?! Only 198 to go...

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