Friday, July 24, 2009

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

My mother is still in town and down at my sister's in Santa Monica, about 45 minutes away if the traffic is light which it never is. Ask me how many times Mom has called and asked me where something she owns is. In my sister's apartment. Like I can see from Hollywood through the walls of other people's apartments. Then when I say I don't know she gets all irritated and acts offended. Then she calls back and says "Never mind, I found it." AS IF I was still trying to find her eye drops/glasses/email in my free time. ACROSS TOWN. I always remind her I've lost 2 pairs of glasses in my own apartment and never found them. In French this apparently translates to blah blah blahblah blah blahblahblah.

I went to a free screening of Funny People thanks to BlogHer. I still walk down the darkened stairs of the Arclight movie theater as if I'm on a tightrope, reaching out and waving my arms until I land on something solid, like a seat back or a woman's chest, then tentatively put my foot out and pray there's no 20 foot drop-off. If someone filmed me doing this we could all laugh about it on Youtube. What bothers me the most is that I must still be harboring some fear and I hate that. I try and remember that fear is the opposite of faith but seriously, that just makes me more depressed. Did I mention there are lights on the stairs?

I spoke to Gladys Tells All because she and I were supposed to do lunch today but her interview at KTLA (channel 5 here in L.A.) is happening at the God forsaken hour of 8:45 AM and I can't bring myself to get out of bed that early to go drink a cup of coffee. She said she wouldn't have done it either so we spoke on the phone and I totally loved her. Mainly because she said my blog didn't offend her. GLADYS, PARTY OF ONE.

Our building is quiet, for once. I think everyone's on vacation. No McPoundersons, no chronic dog barking, no people screaming in the courtyard. But soon I'll be back Living Next To Hell.

End of chat.


  1. Gladys + Braja = team of 2. And I think your Mrs Smith of Oregon truly does love you. And me. Duel...

  2. Thank you for pointing out the vote button. I am on it!!!

    I have to be at work to teach at 7:30 am. It is a little too early. I don't know why we drag the kids out of bed so early to do math. Kinda cruel.

  3. You and your relationship with your mother is so funny!

    Hey, how was Funny People?

  4. Your blog doesn't offend me either.

    I guess that's a party of five, now.

    And I rather like your mom stories.

  5. Babe, your blog doesn't offend me, either...makes me laugh, often, but offend? Nah...I'm mellow, yo.


    Yeah, couldn't say it with a straight face.

    I LIKE truth couched in caustic humor.

    You'll have to work a lot harder to offend ME...I live in Redneck Central, where people suck at the teats of bigotry, ignorance, and, sorry, sugar, you just don't measure up in the offense department!

    Meanwhile, I suggest telling your mother to look in odd places when she calls about lost the toilet tank. Good times!

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who wonders why spell-check doesn't like methamphetamine - her neighbors down the street sure do)

  6. Nope I don't get offended either here..unless that rude girl is here with that nasty mouth and I have to wipe the floor with her ;-)

    Your mom is hilarious! So are You!

  7. I'm about to get my VOTE on Suzy!

  8. I lost a flashdrive somewhere in the abyss of my purse. I don't suppose you could find it for me?

    The image of you landing on someone's chest made me choke with laughter because I took an ill-timed drink of water.

    You still have my vote!

  9. Anonymous11:39 AM

    I love that movie theater. I believe they even sell wine which you can enjoy in your seat on certain nights. Very progressive.
    MJ (the wino)

  10. OH shoot! I'd get up early to go have coffee with your or Gladys. And sometimes I don't even get to bed until 2am. (insommmmmmnia)

  11. GLADYS + BRAJA + SUSAN = a fun fucking party

  12. Suzy + Gladys + Braja + Susan + Blognut + Darsden...NOW that's a friggin Party

  13. "Suzy + Gladys + Braja + Susan + Blognut + Darsden...NOW that's a friggin Party"

    If y'all get together, I am SO taking the photographs (they should be worth a few bucks...)

    Shade and Sweetater,

  14. Can I tell you I never noticed that button before?? Off to vote..10th is rude:)

  15. Suzy, I TOTALLY had a great time talking to you and we will do lunch at a reasonable Hollywood hour of 2ish or 3ish. I will even make a special trip up to see you and brave the Highway of Hell just not at 4 a.m. again.

    I love the Arclight what a great theater. So did you like the movie? How was your old Pal Adam?

  16. Hmm, not much there to bite about. But I do hope you continue to get mail.

  17. My mom calls me on my home phone and asks me, "Where are you at?"


  18. k, voted fur ye... agin!