Drop Dead Diva, Drop Dead

I expect a lot of reviews of this sophomoric and badly written Lifetime dramedy will begin with the above headline. As a comedian, I would be a poor one if I didn't point out its obvious flaws. This should have been an Alan Smithee production.

Sidebar: Alan Smithee is an official pseudonym used by film directors who wish to disown a project, coined in 1968. Until its use was formally discontinued in 2000, it was the sole pseudonym used by members of the Director's Guild of America when a director dissatisfied with the final product proved to the satisfaction of a guild panel that he or she had not been able to exercise creative control over a film. The director was also required by guild rules not to discuss the circumstances leading to the move or even to acknowledge being the actual director.

Drop Dead Diva stars Brooke Elliott (Broadway's Taboo, Wicked) and is the first show aimed at the 18 -49 demographic that drops the "F" word.

Fat.

Their list of guest stars includes Rosie O'Donnell, who famously won't allow her children to use that word. I can't tell if they padded Brooke's body because I've seen fat and this doesn't look fat to me. It also stars Margaret Cho, who is wasted in her small role and should have been asked to help with the comedy writing, if you want to call it comedy. Contrived circumstances, lucky coincidences and only one person in a guest starring role who is over 30. I haven't seen many law firms where the head lawyer is 29 and hot.(ish) The second half is not as cloying and Holy Mother Of Sarah Jessica Parker, doesn't try to fit square pegs into round holes and sticks to more grown-up writing.

The premise is ripped off from 1941's Here Comes Mr. Jordan which then was redone in 1978 by Warren Beatty as Heaven Can Wait. Here it is in it's newest incarnation. Two women die on the same day. One is blonde, skinny, shallow and engaged and the other is fat, brunette, a lawyer and single.

They trade bodies because AS USUAL someone in Heaven made a mistake. Man, what is UP with those people? Cause if that's a regular theme up there, I'd like to put in a request to switch with Cindy Crawford. Soon, before Randy Gerber loses his looks and his money.

So skinny blonde bimbo in fat brunette's body and miraculously, and even though everyone has got amnesia or is just blind, skinny bimbo knows a LOT about the law because she's in the wrong body! Yikes.

The thing that pissed me off the most about this show is that with all the 3 dimensional characters on shows past, Men in Trees, Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, The Wire, Lipstick Jungle, instead of putting them on cable, they cancel them. Because the rule in Hollywood is pay the actors the least amount of money, hope they have a modicum of talent and a decent Q rating and you have another Army Wives. In the meantime find a new set of suckers to appear on a network reality show where they don't get paid at ALL. Wipeout anyone? (Tim Gunn did the first season of Project Runway, which is now on Lifetime, BTW, for free. The second year he got $1,000 a show.)

Drop Dead Diva premieres tomorrow, Sunday July 12, at 9 pm (ET/PT) on Lifetime and I'd love to hear what you thought of it. If you don't want to reveal your name, sign in as anonymous and just say head's up or down or that you didn't watch it. I did like the title though, if that helps.

Just remember that I'm never wrong (lie) but it could happen, (lie).

Rating C- (I really want to say D+ so I will)