Friday, March 19, 2010

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

As little as I believe in marriage, I was still shocked that Sandra Bullock's might be falling apart. But having been in relationships and worked around men my entire adult life I'm not really as shocked as I pretend. I think women are just incredibly naive about what makes men tick. To quote my friend Joy Behar, "Never marry them, they just take you for granted."

Everyone should walk away from a cheater. When you forgive a cheater you've basically said, "Here's the key to room 1703 at the Motel 6. Please don't get caught this time." And the cheater will oblige. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but they will eventually cheat again because something is wrong in the marriage. To err is human; to forgive is bullshit.

I've been cheated on before.

I've also cheated.

The one and only time I cheated was with The Doctor, a man who was sleeping with half of New York City, so I felt I was *owed.* When I told him I was going to Hong Kong with another man he got dressed in the middle of the night and said he couldn't look at me anymore, didn't want me to touch him and that he had to go home. To his wife.

In my defense, and his too sort of, he and his wife had an open marriage and I was in my 20's and he was rich and powerful and yes I had Daddy issues. I was a really bad Lifetime movie.

Here's a tip ladies, never withhold sex as a weapon. It doesn't work. I know too many men who just went out and got it elsewhere. I work in a male dominated field. I've seen the happiest of married men blithely cheat because they were out of town and some waitress was more than happy to oblige. And? Blow jobs aren't sex!

If I still smoked I would light up right about now.

Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry, Uma Thurman, Reese Witherspoon, all these beautiful women have been cheated on and have walked away, at least I hope Bullock walks away. They are brave women. It takes courage to walk away. It also takes money. But mainly courage.

So to you Jesse James, you who let Sandra get up in front of millions and millions of people world wide and say she was finally happy and doing her best work ever because YOU HAD HER BACK, you my friend, are an asshole. And you're not my friend.

25 comments:

  1. about dang time I have been waiting all day...Friday is almost over!

    I could beat Jesse's butt myself for doing that too her. Creep I hope she walks!!

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  2. Oh and Preach IT... Great Post

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  3. Yes! Poor Sandra though he had her back when he had the tramps hooha instead. And he's sitting teary eyed in the audience and we think it's love and really it's GUILT.

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  4. Anonymous7:26 PM

    Good post. Men are scum; yet I am not ready for Lesbian Training Camp.
    Aloha,
    MJ

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  5. Remember back when Hugh Grant was caught in a car with some prostitute who was giving him a blow job, and everyone was saying, "Why? He could have any woman he wants." Somewhere I read that sex to guys is like chocolate or sweets to women - they just don't discriminate. Essentially, that blow job? Was the equivalent of a sack of mini-oreos for me - who could say no?

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  6. A wise Frenchman once told me: If you are in your 20s, you are much too young to be someone's mistress.

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  7. Heterosexual relationships don't have the market on cheating. My partner, now my ex-partner, cheated on me. Could have been as long as 6 months. I don't care to know how long. Cheating is cheating. She's now with 'the other woman'. She bold faced lied to me on a daily basis and it was easy, because she used her disabled brother as a cover. When her sister, who lived with the disabled brother would call me and ask where she was, when she was supposed to be there, it all started coming together. Women cheat on women too. It's not just men.

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  8. J. J. deserves the scorn and contempt. He has certainly earned it. But it's unfair to blame ALL men for what this asshole did. Of course, I may be somewhat biased.

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  9. What a jerk--but I would have thought his choice of his first wife might have been some indication of that.

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  10. He's not just any asshole, he's the asshole of a prison bitch.

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  11. I hope she walks too! Once a cheater always a cheater!

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  12. Sandra is such an ace actress.

    And, I believe, a great,down to earth, woman.

    I'm thinking - why would he cheat on her?, but as you say, something is wrong with the marriage for one of the people to go cheat.

    Sad.

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  13. Ah,.. The duplicity of men. They claim that we romanticize sex, that it's no big deal, but they're the one's who make it a big deal. And were the shoe on the other foot - your Doctor's for instance - it is an unforgivable sin.

    I personally subscribe to the belief that a man is only as faithful as his options. Clearly, if you want a faithful man, you have to outline their options for them: "Life with me or life without me." You can't bully a man into being faithful. A woman's only option is the choice to leave or stay.

    I'm with you, Suzy. Too many of us negotiate and make excuses for our men. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you don't walk away the first time it happens, you're saying it's okay.

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  14. -->I'm embarassed for her now after her acceptance speech for the Oscar. Plus, could he pick a trampier "bombshell"? Bleh.

    Don't forget Jennifer Aniston getting curb service by Brad for Angie.

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  15. well, it IS the year of TIGER, no? :P lol

    if elin does take the dick back, you can bet your ass it's all about the $$$ BILLIONS...

    i agree with all you say here, btw

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  16. After that perfect post, all I can say is ditto.



    She deserves better.

    as do all of us.

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  17. And he cannot ever come to our birthday parties either.

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  18. Last 2 minutes of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me today had a great Tiger joke...(at least for those of us who are not professional comedians, Suzy)

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  19. Yay, sister. We all need to keep a can of Cheater-Be-Gone in our meds cabinet.

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  20. Well said sistah moon! I would walk away too. Although, when I get married I'm planning on having my own place anyway. That would make things much less sticky!

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  21. What is with these amazing, powerful, gorgeous Hollywood women who put up with such crappy men? Leave him Sandra!

    www.kellyansapansa.blogspot.com

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  22. If I could find a penis that would hug me, I swear I would stop dating now

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  23. had to twit that last comment. Sorry. it's so rare I say something in less than 140 characters that I think is funny

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  24. I'm a bit on the bitter edge of this sword. People cheat when they are not having their needs met. SO - is it possible that she holds some blame in this? I don't know..I'm just saying. It takes two to tango. It also takes two to totally screw up a dance so badly they knock over a table.

    He was a dirtbag, yes. True. But maybe there is another side to the story...

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  25. I agree with you, really no need (except money) to stay with someone who cheats. Bastard!

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