If you're not reading the Bloggess you're not reading the funniest person on the Internet. And since you know I think I'm the funniest person on the Internet you realize how hard it is for me to give out that title without a cash incentive.
I received this critique from my best friend, Anonymous:
Well color me chastened. I'm now down to third place?
Then I was further reduced in stature by this tweet from a Twitter follower:
I'm pretty sure I don't answer to *User Name Here* but I used to drink so maybe I did before I lost most of my cognitive skills in a Grey Goose mano à mano.
Then Jenn warned me:
Then Sanjeet, whose name means Plug My Website in Hindi, warned me again with this original comment:
Then coincidentally - or was it - I got this comment the next day:
So here's my report card for last Friday's post:
Ability to convey sarcasm to people with no name - F
Ability to convince readers of my expertise in tongue in cheek commentary - F
Overall job performance - I don't have one but if I did it would be - F
Fear of The Bloggess kicking my ass and overcharging for band aids - A+
I would sit in the corner and hold your water bottle. I can't apply stitches though - I'm too likely to sew your arms together or something equally dreadful.
ReplyDeleteI won't even follow the Bloggess, unless you want me to.
ReplyDeleteI'm your bitch x
I think the original comment can be found in chpt. 2 in Blogging for Dummies. subtitled - How to Leave an Original Comment.
ReplyDelete-->I think you AND The Bloggess are funny. Maybe you could have a blog-off to see who is funnier. It may make your buddy Anonymous happy.
ReplyDelete~deb
www.WebSavvyMom.com
Yeah I am your Bitch too.. but I bring a bunch of whoop Ass with me with I come. So all these other want to be zzzz ...better watch out and we ALL know I am all to ready to open that can...right about NOW!!! ;-)
ReplyDeletethere once was a comic named suzy,
ReplyDeletewho showed to the world she was choosy...
amidst a big muddle,
she tried to be subtle -
and ended up drunk as a floozy ;)
word verif: pubbill
I still think you are the funniest person I know and believe me I know some funny people. Oh your saying humorous? I thought you meant "funny" weird. :) In that case your still the most humorous, sarcastic person I know.
ReplyDeleteLooks like people are taking you seriously.
ReplyDeleteSorry about that.
Is there a special kind of machine that measures funny? Just curious on how that is determined by the experts.
ReplyDeletedid you realize that Sanjeet also asked you to work from home?!?!
ReplyDeletehoney I think you are always good for a laugh...
ReplyDeleteSuzy you are funny plus you have a killer t-shirt, bloggess is funny but she only has Victor!!
ReplyDeleteStar Child, you MUST follow the Bloggess or I will kick your ass. She's too original to be missed.
ReplyDeleteFrau, she has Victor AND James Garfield!
I have to go now. Have to ask Sanjeet about getting a job.
Laughing Wolf wrote me a poem without mentioning any of my personal flaws. I am stunned.
ReplyDeleteRosie, I am HUGE in France and by huge I mean I spend a lot of time eating pastry.
That grade card is like getting an A in gym but failing the rest. So, basically, are you my teenaged son? If so, put down the bong and get to work.
ReplyDeleteDude. I'm wearing a hand-brace because I got STABBED WITH CHICKEN. Clearly you have nothing to fear from me. A small breeze could kill me.
ReplyDeleteAlso I think you're very funny. And I will now sell you a whole pack of band-aids for $100. You were right to hold out.
Oh, okay. Now, you've got Jenny the Bloggess leaving you comments and selling you bandaids. Well, I'm not jealous. Cuz Anonymous comments on *my* blog, too. English isn't his/her first language, but I can really feel the love.
ReplyDeleteP.S. You funny.
Don't worry about other's opinions concerning humor. People used to consider Bob Hope to be funny, so what does anybody know?
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone have a small breeze I could borrow?
ReplyDeleteWho do I talk to about Sanjeet ripping off my comment?
ReplyDeleteI"ve got my popcorn and a lawn chair. Now exactly WHOSE ass are you kicking???
ReplyDeleteOh, and I had a small breeze but it comes with a bit of an odor.
ReplyDeleteand it's gone. too late.
The Bloggess does kick ass.
ReplyDeleteYou think you're funny?
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. Food for thought.
;)
i'm just awed that you knew how to take those tweets and put them on your post. Seriously. Funny and technically savvy. Sleep with me would you?
ReplyDeleteF is for funny, so what is A+ for?
ReplyDeleteThat has to be a straight line, don't blow it.
Suzy...I wanna be in touch with you. Will you email me?
ReplyDeletekatherine.rosman@wsj.com
Looking forward to hearing from you!
katherine rosman
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSuzy, I am going to have to make a comparison test now. I'll let you know if you or the Blogess tastes better -- which would actually be quite funny any way I, um, look at it.
ReplyDeletePerhaps a blog-off is in order? I'll bring the bada-boom box.
Suzy, I think you are hilarious. Especially when I wake up at 5am ET and you are still a"twitter" with insomnia.
ReplyDeleteAlright, I'm off to visit Bloggess, she has cheap band-aids.
ReplyDeleteTo Deb's comment, I failed gym too!
Screw them! I think you're funnier than shit!
ReplyDeleteMy kids say that I am the funniest person they know online and offline and who can argue with that.
ReplyDeleteOf course I am a little lazy so I'd rather be the third or even seventh funniest person.
That means that I don't have to deal with all the pushing and shoving to stay on top, but should I change my mind I am well within striking distance.
And who could ask anything more. Ok, strike that, I have things to ask for. Bigger parking lots at Trader Joes, less traffic on the 405 and calorie free pizza come to mind.