Wednesday, March 17, 2010

There's Dying And Then There's Dying

Sinbad was on The Bonnie Hunt Show recently. There was a rumor about him a while back that he had died. So Bonnie asked him how that got started and he replied: "Someone didn't like one of my comedy shows and went to Wikipedia and said I'd died."

And by 'comedy shows' he meant my blog.

So I was nervous for my viral mortality when I got this e-mail:

Sorry, after reading that post about being attacked by her dog and stabbed by a chicken she does seem a bit more humorous than you Suz. Perhaps falling on your face is not as funny as being stabbed by a dog.

I do like your around town photos.

So me falling on my face and looking like this and using it as my Linkedin profile pic... not funnier than Jenny flipping people off?

Yeah okay, maybe she wins that. In other news I think my nose is growing.

I stole the above photo from Jenny the Bloggess's website and taken by Jenny herself. I'm a little disturbed that she is passing herself off as *injured* when she can drive, take a picture of her hand and FLIP OFF PASSERSBY. In my photo I could not see out of one eye and could not drive unless it was into a building. So I'm not funnier than her but for the love of God could I at least be the more grievously injured?

The guy in that email whose name I'm hiding because I'm afraid you'll all agree with him and then I'm going to have to move to earthquake-ravaged Chile where they know the real meaning of injuries and start a blog about being kicked out of the U.S. because I'm unable to determine what is or is not a funny injury said he likes my around town photos.

Like this one, a can of Campbell's Chunky Fully Loaded Rigatoni and Meatballs soup someone left on a ledge in a parking lot. If you can figure out where the comma goes in the above paragraph then you should definitely play the lottery today.

Translation of *I do like your around town photos?* STOP WRITING. Ok, fine. I'm not going to but fine.

For those of you who don't know how I got started in standup check out this interview with me. No one gets hurt though so you might be bored.

Also? It has been brought to my attention that I get more comments when the Bloggess is in my posts. She's only been in 2 posts besides this one which makes 3 and if this is someone's subtle way of telling me that I'm not that interesting without her, DULY FUCKING NOTED.

End of chat.


  1. Suzy, you win! Feel free to mention your BFF the Bloggess in every post. But please, for the love of God, don't make me look at that photo of you again. Ouch.

  2. Your eye is not funny but you definitely win for injury and pain, cost and time healed.

  3. My takeaway from all this is that I need to mention the Bloggess when I post.

    Oh, and that I don't know how to punctuate soup-can labels...

  4. Did the bloggess punch you in the eye with her pointy finger? Okay I missed the post about the eye WTH happened is that when you lost your leg too?

  5. -->It's the first time I noticed the Florida license plate in the background.

    I think your injury trumps hers for severity and probably a higher bill too.


  6. I've never read, let alone commented on, the Blogess's's's blog (I'm sure she's lovely), but I do deface yours on a sporadic basis...don't you feel special?

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  7. Which hurt more the injury or the Dr. bill?
    I know the answer to that.
    Does the bloggess have readers/ commenters wearing her blog tees in Europe?
    I doubt it.
    I'm sure she's nice,
    but the name the Bloggess makes me think of Heidi Fleiss.
    That's not a good thing.

  8. Holy crap Darsden thinks I lost a leg.

  9. Hey I was just happy you still had a leg to stand on ;-)

  10. Wrong again, you are totally interesting without her. And your injury is more serious, that's why it isn't funny. Unless there was a banana peel involved; that always seems to make it funny when it happens to Elmer Fudd. (I don't think you slipped on a banana peel so there is no comparison to Elmer Fudd, don't think I am making that one).
    Some of us do recognize a Longo Toyota California plate.

  11. Uh, I just wanted to add that the Bloggess has nice fingers. Is that too weird? Hi, Jenny! Call me!

  12. Will the Bloggess flip me off because I don't know who she is?

  13. Damn, I forgot I was going to visit the Bloggess. I'll go later.
    I can't believe your face still looks like that. I guess it takes longer to heal, the less funny we are.
    JK, You're still my fave!

  14. A big LOL to -->"and could not drive unless it was into a building."

    ...and I'm sorry, but your effed-up face is way funnier than someone else's bird flipping. And if the Blogess didn't have about 50 million (I'm estimating - I don't have the link to her actual numbers) her little finger wouldn't outweigh your head so much.

  15. I'm still getting over the fact that Sinbad is dead, the Bloggess got attacked by an apparently armed chicken, and YOU lost a leg.

    I'm a bit behind.

  16. I think the picture where you can't open your eye is flipping hilarious! Go girl. ;)


  17. ah-uuu--tch!

    that had to hurt, a lot! :(

    thankfully you will recover... and have 'war wounds' to be intro'd in your routine ;)

  18. That's a sign of a bad career when you have to go on shows to PROVE that you're still alive. And now thanks to James Cameron, that may not be enough anymore. Hmmm, the real Sinbad or CG/Robot Sinbad?

  19. I love Jenny but that finger doesn't hold a candle to a face that looks like it lost a battle with a truck. Ay!!! God, that is horrible.

  20. holy shit you really DID get it good in the eye...

  21. Oh, your eye...what happened, and did you heal 100%?