UPDATE RE GEORGE CARLIN at 2:00 pm LA time. After George's daughter left a comment on this blog about youtube and his estate I talked to a lot of people about it because I felt bad that I might have incorrectly summed up the incident. McLoserstene called it when she reminded me that networks routinely bar youtube embeds so that you will watch their network and not the internet. Yeah, the networks are so batting at an invisible pitcher here but whatever. So she guessed that HBO did the banning. And yes, they're running George's specials so it does make sense. I just want to apologize to Kelly, George's daughter, for my haste at slamming their estate. I've written her privately and said the same thing but I did want you to know that once again, I'm part of the problem, not the solution.
I can't believe I just spent 3 months cloistered in my apartment. I've left it exactly 4 times, which is also the amount of times I've wanted to saw this cast off my leg and throw it into the pool. I've developed restless cast syndrome and it's screwed up my sleeping big time. It's enough already. It comes off on Monday. Three days.
In the good news department someone from Sydney, Australia wrote I Heart Cock on my cast. How embarrassed are all the people at the doctor's office going to be when I show up with that? Why am I not embarrassed? BECAUSE MAKING FUN OF MY LIFE IS ALL I HAVE LEFT.
A lot of comics have sent me emails and called to talk about Carlin. I went to one of the youtube links my friend Matt sent me. While I was watching I noticed the embed had been disabled upon request. I'm guessing George's estate stepped in to stop the world from downloading, embedding etc. George would have fucking died (again) over that. He was so not that guy. If he could come back for 4 minutes the first 3 would be him yelling at youtube and his estate. He wanted you to hear what he was saying and he didn't care how you heard it. If you got it for free he would consider you a genius.
One of my commenters, Maureen, mentioned that SNL was rerunning the 1975 show that Carlin hosted. As happy as I am about that, what pisses me off was that according to Comedy on the Edge, the definitive book by Richard Zoglin on the evolution of standup, George was the guest host on that show, their first one ever and yet never hosted again. 'Carlin remains the forgotten man in the oft-told tale of Saturday Night Live's birth. Michaels never asked him back and he was pretty much written out of SNL's seemingly endless retrospectives and tributes.'
I'm upset that it takes death to set the record straight. So NOW they're all on board the Carlin Express. First Stop? Fuck You, New York.
The last three months I've spent most of my time online reading articles. This one made me laugh out loud, about how much coinage people leave behind in airports.
The cash leader: Los Angeles International Airport, where passengers left behind $89,375 from Sept. 30, 2004 to Oct. 1, 2007, according to TSA reports. Las Vegas' McCarran International was a distant runner-up.
The cash laggard: Chattanooga (Tenn.) Metropolitan Airport, whose 300,000 departing passengers in 2007 left just $1.20.
Biggest underachiever: New York's Kennedy International Airport, the nation's sixth-busiest, which generated just $5,228 from 2004 to 2007, including a mere $607 last year.
When have you ever heard that New York has been an underachiever? All in all, in the U.S., over a million dollars was left behind.
Then there was this article about James Dyson and his vacuum machines.
James Dyson has made quite a name for himself with his bagless vacuum cleaners. Now the inventor is spending some of his $1.5 billion fortune working on a gasless car --specifically, one that runs completely on solar power.
His engineers in England are developing a lightweight electric motor that, according to Dyson, could power a family vehicle for hundreds of miles. The battery would be charged by solar panels mounted on the vehicle's roof, and/or on the roof of a garage where the car is stored. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the motor is actually based on those used in the company's vacuum cleaners and hand dryers.
Seriously, why isn't this guy in charge of the world? Have you seen his newest vacuum cleaner, the one that operates on a ball? It came out this year. 2008. How long did it take people to figure out that vacuums only operate in a straight line? 139 years. That's when the first one was invented, in 1869.
And finally, more motorists are buying locking gas caps for their vehicles.
The minute I read that, Will Smith's song Wild Wild West went through my head. I filled my car with gas before my surgery. I have no idea why since I wasn't going to be driving anytime soon. But three months ago gas was a lot cheaper so I'm glad I did. I fill my car 4 times a year. That's because I walk everywhere and even if I drive, my car gets great mileage. Oh, and I don't have a job, that helps. It's currently parked underground in a gated part of our building and the gas tank is flush with the wall. Unless the Druggertons have figured out a way to crawl under my car and siphon out the gas, I think I'm good to go.
MONDAY MONDAY. The Mamas and the Papas had that right.
End of chat.